Further proof that I'm a gigantic dorkwad that has some pretty screwed up views on what's exciting in life: I got a new vacuum! Isn't that exciting?

I know it shouldn't be exciting, but I'm very happy about it. My last one went to the giant suckfest in the sky ages ago, so I've been forced to beg and plead to borrow vacuums and then just having to suffer with how filthy I really am in between borrowings. It's amazing how gross carpet gets even when nobody's home to make it a mess. I don't have a clue how some of this stuff even gets tracked in here. Perhaps Imaginary Boyfriend is throwing parties while I'm away.

So, yay. I got a new vacuum. Too bad I'm so lazy I don't want to clean, I just want to enjoy my day off and do nothing. I'll give the first person to come clean my living room floor thirty-eight cents and a cookie. Anyone? Anyone?

HotD:

Come eat some soup, man.
It is tasty and delish,
And will just go bad.