So tomorrow at noon (exactly, according to the itinerary. Apparently if I'm late they'll leave without me. Where's the love?) I shall be heading off into the wild blue yonder in a Chemeketa van which smells faintly of cheese and peat moss, thanks to the forestry students. I shall be trekking off into the wild unknowns of Mt. Hood with my fellow Kappans for a three-ish day executive board retreat in which many a illicit acts that cannot be repeated intense coffee-laden planning sessions will occur. It'll be tea for me, but that's not really relevant and messes up the flow of my post.

I am really excited.

If you just happen to be a mass serial killer that enjoys reaping your carnage on smart nerds (and one pseudo-smart geek, which would be me) in the middle of the forest while they sleep like little bookworm angels in a cabin, then we will be staying here. If it's not too much trouble, can you come kill us on Saturday night? I want to make sure to get some planning done before I bleed to death all over the coverlets.

It'll be really nice. I haven't been up to the mountain in a really long time, and forests are always good for refurbishing my shredded graymatter into something almost functioning. Of course, there is always the chance of Mt. Hood (which is a volcano, for those of you who don't live here in the Ring o' Fire) going kablooey and covering us all in really, really hot melted rock. That wouldn't be fun as, oh, say a truck full of really cute male exotic dancers breaking down and needing a place to stay for the night. Crispy burnt up Jamie = worst vacation ever. Cold, sad, lonely, exotic male dancers stranded in the forest = tolerable vacation surprise.

I will be huffing along the digital camera so I can get lots of shots of people doing lots of things people really shouldn't be doing in public. Dance Dance Revolution is already packed. Trust me, those are the first pictures being posted when I get back. It should be fun. I will also be buying post cards, so those of you who join me in my overzealous and slightly unstable obsession with them can have one. Yes, I mean you.

Just E-mail me your address (me(spamissomean)@brighterskyte(meansoisspam).com) and I'll send you one. No worries if you don't get me your address by Sunday (the day I go home) I'll buy a few extras so anyone who gets me their address late can have one.

Oh, don't worry your pretty little head, I won't use your address for the power of darkness, I'm already stalking you. Isn't that enough?