The wedding went fine for them, for anyone who was interested. I'm very (VERY!) glad that it's all over with, one more stress out of the way. They're still on their honeymoon and won't be back till tomorrow sometime. Today is my last day of vacation (if you can call this that) and tomorrow I get to open and run the childcare all by my little lonesome. Lucky me. (Side note, state was here yesterday morning at 9 am on the dot, isn't that funny? They got turned away again because we're closed!)



My landladies daughter came over this morning wanting money, (I had told my landlady at the wedding reception that I had SOME for her) and when I gave it to her, she came back wanting to know where the rest was. When I told her that the agreement is between be and my landlady (Meaning: What is it any of your business, so don't try and bully me) she backed off and got really nice. She said the family is worried because of the landladies health, and because my neighboors planning on moving and all this. (Well my neighbor is her daughter, she must not be TOO worried about what will happen because she's moving. Not that she should stagnate her life because of the building, but don't guilt me because of it, that's just silly.) I'm doing the best I possibly can with what I've got, which is nothing.


So, today I'm going to tell my houseguest to move because I can't afford him there, and I'm going to see if I can borrow money for rent (which technicly isn't due till the 15th anyway) because I don't have it, and probably won't for another three weeks. (Then it'll probably only be 300 bucks...all I've been paid the last three months has been about 400 bucks, I can't live on this.)


However, unless I get the money or find someone I don't mind living with to move in soon, it's looking like I'm going to be without a place to live, and lucky me, I've got nowhere else to go!


I'm sick of this crap.

I love fireworks.


Other people around me just don't understand my attraction to things that spew sparks and make loud noises. But how could you not like things that blow up?


So, yesterday marked another 4th of July in the big book of Life Holidays. I had a pretty good day, I spent most of the day just hanging out, then I went up to Mt. Angel to watch their fireworks show, which was pretty dang good for such a small community. It was about 45 minutes long. (Yay! 45 minutes of booms!) The place was packed with people sitting on the ground and lighting personal fireworks, and if you squinted just right it looked like a warzone. Bodies littering the ground, big booms of guns and a stinky haze of greyish green smoke everywhere you look.


I love the 4th.


Then I came back, and came over to Robin's and lit some fireworks off with John. I always have a huge stash, so I didn't have to buy any this year, and I even have more left over. Yay. Next year I'm buying some though, because I saw a few I really liked that I don't currently have in my pyro lovers collection.


That strange green cloud followed me home, it was like 'Stephen King's The Mist' but in patriotic colors. I went home at 3 am, and the entire neighborhood in every direction was still covered with this knee high swamp like mist that smelled faintly of sulpher, and in every direction you could see and hear boombs and crackles from other enlightened peoples fireworks.


How could you not like fireworks?


Today the check finally came, so I have to go run around downtown and buy stuff for Sunday, then I have to come back and finish the bookmarks. I can't put it off forever, unless of course I get hit by a car and go flying through some plate glass window and die twitching in a trench.


One can only hope.

I smell like burnt flowers!




It's not that attractive. I could sell it as a new parfum (snort) ode to crisp flowers. It'll attract guys from miles around.


Right.

I've spent most of the morning drying flowers in a nifty microwave flower dryer for Wedding favors, unfortunatly the fun was cut short when we found out that certain kinds of flowers burn.



Woo baby.



So now the kitchen stinks something awful, and I have to make a trip downtown to try and find the padding to recreate the stuff from the dryer (tight cotton and thick felt) in the fabric store so we don't have to buy it. (It's cheaper to make our own, then buy extras.)



We did, however, get a good 400 flowers done, so we'll have more then enough and some left over. (I want to make candles and soaps, and these will come in handy when I do.) Yay, they come out really pretty too...maybe I'll make some paper and put some of those flowers to good use.



I also have to do a whole other slue of stuff this week, and I'm already frazzed. I've got to go with everyone to get my hair and nails done and get my ears repeirced. I've got to go pick up a second ID, I've got all this food to make, I have to buy decorations still, I've got to do the wedding music, I've got to make ice rings, and do the favors of course, I've got to make mints (I got some cute molds for them yesterday), I've got to pick up cameras, find a video camera to borrow and someone to run the video camera, get the flowers for the arrangements, make the centerpeices, I've got to figure out extra parking, and find someone to direct parking, I've got to write a speech.........................................................a speech! AAAAAHG!




sigh. And to think..I enjoy this stuff.



Anyway, if I don't post often (pppft) this week, it's because I've finally fried my last brain cell and I'm now currently wandering around downtown dancing with my pretty pink tutu on like the graceful little ballerina I am.

(According to Mr.Rogers, everybody is fancy everybody is fine, your body is fancy and so is mine. I feel so, warm and fuzzly.)

Oohoo..add bad bottle of brand new apple juice to todays list of 'isn't this fun's.

Damnit, I wanted that juice.

I'm tired. I've already smoothed over tragities (including a very heartbreaking death of a pregnant cat), painted faces, made snacks, cleaned, fed lunch and took the kids outside and it's only noon.

I'm tired and it's hot.

I'm still expecting a visit from the state, I've got to go pick up a second ID, buy decorations, price more food (Yuck, too hot for food), go through my leftover fireworks (I always buy tons) so I can see if we need more for the 4th (Which is also my youngest brothers birthday) and go price them, finish planning the wedding music and put the CDs together and finish two layouts today.

I got an idea, how about I nap, and you do it for me?

I came back to post a second time, but forgot what it was I was going to say.

Wait! I remember.

Today I'm doing wedding music, and since I can't get any help, I'm on my own compiling a couple of CD's of music. I need suggestions. Anyone got any?

(Even though I'm doing all this work and no one helps, or gives suggestions, or they tell me to 'take care of it, we trust your judgement' when I ask a question. Someone actually had the gall to say (teasingly?) that to remember it's not my wedding. You know what I have to say to that? Fine, you do it. ::mutter:: I'll be damn glad when this mess is over.)

I'm worth exactly: $2,536,936.00. according to 'Human For Sale'. Now I know the exact amount I should hock myself for if I'm ever down and out. It's a wonderful feeling.

I actually kind of had fun.


Last night I attended another one of the stupid PCL (PDL?) classes. Basicly, these classes are to bore the life out of providers until the last spark of defiance is gone. They say they're to prompt higher learning in childcare providers. That's a crock, I already know all the stuff they 'teach'. But, ok.


The class was three hours long, but stretched into almost four. Outside Activites. When we first got there we had to sign in (So they know who's there and what name to put on your certificate...yes, you get a certificate, but it dosen't make up for the classes!) and then wear name tags. (Ew, I don't look good in a name tag...but then they told me to put my clothes back on, and it was a little better.) Then after a bref intro (And being offended a couple times...I paid for the class, it's not like I just showed up. The lady who was running it made a few comments about if you don't participate you won't get your certificate, and blah blah. She even added 'Understand?' a couple times! I wanted to stand up, salute and scream "Yes, Ma'am".) we got split into groups (Another thing, if I've paid for it, why can't I work with who I WANT to work with?) by giving everyone a number. I actually was lucky, I got placed with a group of four other people whom I've taken a couple classes with that were just hysterical to work with. Then, we got herded outside (erm, bad wording perhaps) to do some outside activites. Who would have known right?


There were six 'stations' set up. We had to go to each station, do the activity, and write down some notes on the Physical, Social, Language, Cognitive and Emotional aspects of each activity. (The class centered around the point that children learn differently outside, but still learn in the five.) Then we had to present them to the class later. (I didn't pay for public speaking man! If I'd wanted to do that I'd join Toastmasters!) We decided to split the five between us, mine was social. Something I'm never quite sure if I have a grip on.


The first station our group went to was covered with Jello and Balloons. We had to rub the balloons (ahem) on our heads and then hold them over the jello (poured on a plate) to see what the reaction was. It was actually really neat, although we made a huge mess with the jello. The second station was one where we had to make, basicly, gack. Yes, I made it, and I kept it. Because slimey nasty icky things are kewl.


The third station was the funnest. We had to make ice cream balls. We took a zip lock bag, put cream milk and sugar in it, and closed it up. Put it in another bag, inside another bag, inside another bag and filled the last bag with ice and rock salt. Then we rapped it in newspaper and duct taped it shut. We spent the rest of the class throwing it at (lol) each other and tossing it into the air. (I'm happy to say, the ice cream turned out ok...if you didn't eat the stuff that escaped the first bag, that stuff tasted like salt.)


The four station was paint, they taped a sheet to the wall and we got to throw sponges and stuff at the sheet. That turned into us trying to hit each other to get back at who-hit-who with the ice cream package at the last station. I love being silly. Someone missed at got paint all over a window. No, it wasn't me.


The fifth station was filling film canisters with alkaseltzer and water, putting the lid on and waiting for them to 'pop'. There were different types of canisters and lids to try. Our first try didn't work, but our second and third flew a good 20 feet in the air and made a loud pop. (Which made us jump, because we were sure they were duds.) The fourth didn't work, we were sad. Very, very sad. By now the ice cream package was cold, very very cold.


The sixth and last station was making stepping stones from cement (which I made a hand print in, later took home and filled the hand print with multi-colored glass chips, now I'm getting sealer to seal it. Gonna put it in my flower bed.) that was fun, but messy. My hands are still kind of sore and funky from the cement. They didn't like it.


Then we went back inside and talked about each station and their relation to development of the five, then we had to write our own outdoor activity (ours was an obstical course) then we had ice cream. (Yay for ice cream!)


All in all, I had alot of fun just goofing around with the group I was in. That made the class worth going to, becides a wonderful recipie for gack, and a kewl way to make ice cream, I didn't learn much else new.


I'm glad I went anyway.


Happy Birthday to Mackinzie! She's two, so she dosen't read this (or anything at all, for that matter). She's one of our clients, so I'm going to go paint faces and make cupcakes for after lunch. Woohoo.

You know what? Make a Wish foundation said that they don't endorse online activites so we can't use them as our charity for TPC.

Their loss, says I!


So today we have to pick a different charity that we can use. We've already got sponsors, so I'm hoping something awful that they don't mind.

On the up side, by the end of today IBOM will be signed up for the blogathon and I will reveal my amazing 2002 gimmic. (Even though most everyone already knows what I'm doing.)

I get off work early tonight. Thank you lord. 5:30, just in time to book my sorry butt downtown.

I have a meeting with the Revs who are preforming the ceremony on the 7th, the bride and groom, and the other person planning the wedding who is being semi-unresponsible lately. (I love her anyway though.) I have to ask them (the Revs) if it's ok if I rope off the parking lot, set up tables and decorate all over, and generally make a mess on their grounds. I hope they say yes, I'm always looking for an exscuse to make a mess in church.

I also get off work early tomorrow, but it's not for anything nearly as fun as wedding crap. I have another icky PDL class, I can't even remember what this one will be on. Goodie, it'll be like a suprise inside of a thrilling trip. I can't wait.

You're damn right I am. Got a problem with it?

What can I say? It was cute.

I went shopping (well, pricing to be honest) yesterday for decoration supplies for the wedding. I found the exact wedding colors (Lavender, Buttercup, and Mint. Don't laugh, I thought it was clever.) in everything I'm going to need. I was stoked, I would have danced all over the party supply place if there hadn't been other people there who would have signed the paper to have me taken away.



So next week when I get paid and after I take care of the monumental finantal problems I'm having, I'm going to go buy decorations. I love decorating, in fact I've often thought of opening some kind of party planning business just so I could legitimately fondle peoples' crepe paper.

I've always wondered something. (Bare with me here, I'm going to verbal vomit some nonsense on you for a bit.) Well, I'm always wondering something; but this is a something I've been wondering for always. With me so far? Good.


I'm sure, you being the type of person who notices these things that you are, you've wondered this same thing at one point in your life. Probably when you hit 15 or 16 and hit the short-lived phase in which you decided cartoons were for babies. It probably dawned on you, one rainy Monday morning listening to some underpaid Math teacher with her hair pulled back to tight lecture on the importance of equal sided quadraparallellograms, that cartoons that have the main characters as talking animals (Arthur, anything by Richard Scarry, ect.) have pets.


What are these pets? I often wonder in sheer bordom induced fear. Are they slaves to the speaking animals? Did they cause some horrible scandle in a past decade that forced them to forever be plauged with the role of a pet's pet? Are they evolutionary throwbacks? Do they just not know any better? Are they a bit slow? Maybe they used to ride the short wheel during hamster school.


Why would someone give one set of animals the ability to talk, have well dressed families, drive apple cars - yet force another set to live as lowly pets? What did these pet's ever do to deseve this? Did they accidently pee on the hydrant when they were shopping for a new top hat, and the punishment is to be the new puppy for the ardvark family down the street?


I am baffled.


Worse yet, sometimes - and the sheer revolting horror of this keeps me awake on long winter nights cowering under my K-mart bedspread - sometimes the pigs in the Richard Scarry books eat pork.


No, No. It's just too much. I can't take it.

Well, it's time once again to sign up for everyones FAVORITE blog activity, the Blogathon.



The Blogathon, for those who don't know, is a 24 hour posty thon in which we post every 30 minutes for 24 hours to our blogs and raise money for our charities for each hour we make the mark. (So ta speak.)


Yes, I'm proud to say I will be participating again this year (Along with some awesome people who did it last year!), I haven't signed up quite yet because I'm waiting for some information on the details I'm trying to work out with Habitat For Humanity the charity I'm donating to. I'm trying to see if the Salem Affiliate can use the money I raise to set up scholorships for a group in the area to go to Mexico and build houses. So I can't sign up quite yet until this is all worked out.


I'm also (because I'm insane) doing the blogathon with my wonderful group blog The Pervert Club. We'll be posting all sorts of nonsense, giving out prizes, and having a grand old time earing money for Make A Wish Foundation. This means, however, that I'll be posting in two blogs throught the entire night, plus IBOM's (this blog, silly) 'gimmic' which I'll announce right after I sign up for the `Thon.


Trust me, it'll be a good one.


So, please please please sponsor IBOM or TPC in this blogathon. We only need a little from everyone, and it would mean so much to me, and the people we're raising money for.


And I'd love you forever.

I'm not getting married, to clear that up. (I didn't mean to set a couple people to contact me in a panic...honest I didn't. Ahem.) My mother is (Getting married, that is), I'm just planning it. (All of it! And I'm not even getting paid! Watch, she'll want a present too.) I'm actually very honored that she asked not only my help in pulling this shabang off, but to be in it as well.

She's either really desperate, or she loves me.

Poor her, either way. ;)


BTW: Congrats to Cat!

Yesterday was offically the offical first offical day of offical summer. According to me, anyway. Yesterday was the first day all kids in the county were out of school, yesterday was the first day I walked around all day without shoes, and yesterday was the first day it hit over 90 here.


Damn heat.

Today it's supposed to hit over 100. Over 100 and I work in a childcare that dosen't have air conditioning.

Sometimes, I hate my job so much. ::grin::

The Wedding is only 24 days away, and as much as I'd like to lie and say I've got it all done I can't. I'd go to hell. I have to tell the truth: We're not ready. Since I'm the one planning, buying, decorating, cooking, even. I'm the one dripping slowly to that point where something pops in your brain and you spend the rest of your days in the corner with drool streaming down your chin and babbling aimlessly to the dust bunnies that you are the one true Christ.

I love pressure.

Ninja Burger



::giggle::

I'm lazy and should be flogged. I'll post more in the near future, I've just been busy and slightly crappy, so I figured I'd rather not spred it around, and I'd post when I'm in a better mood. Well, I'm sort of in a better mood now, but I've got nothing of substance to say. (Yes, I know that's pretty normal)


Happy 1st Birthday to Tainted Epitome, everyone go give the birthday blog some good birthday wishes. Show Olivia you love her. (Cause, you do, you know.)


I'm thinking of changing this blogs layout (It's about time, actually) and there for I justify not posting as thus:


"I'd hate to add more posts to the layout I have, when I'm just going to change it soon."


Pathetic, but it's the only thing I could come up with.

Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Kelllllly, Happy Birthday to you!


I hope that you have the best birthday ever. Love you hon!

What's the world record for the most books read in one day? Maybe I'll look into beating it. I had something more eloquent and clever I was going to say here, but I'll say it later. :)

We fed the duckies yesterday, took the kids there and then over to another park and ran them ragged. They slept for four hours yesterday afternoon. (Yay!) Ran me ragged too though, I was so tired I fell asleep when it was still light out last night. Pathetic, really. Today we have a BBQ at another providers house, but not sure if we're still doing it. Tomorrow I'm taking the kids to the Iris Festival parade, goodie. Nothing I like more then sitting in the hot sun watching hokey floats and getting candy thrown at my head. ;)

I had a interesting weekend. On Saturday my younger brother got to go fly an plane..which scared the bejesus out of me. He can't even ride his skateboard with out bumping into someones shins, imagine the damage he could do with a plane. (Yeah, ok...what kind of sister am I?) He had a blast though, he's eight, and they took him up for 20 minutes and let him fly and everything. It was good for him...and good for me, I didn't have to go watch.


I did however, have to cover in the childcare while everyone was gone, but it was no big deal...the kids (all three of them) were actually pretty decent for once. (They're making up for it today).


Then I went to the Saturday Market...which is always good for finding cute homemade wares that I kick myself for not bringing money to buy. I wandered around and smelled all the flowers, and oohed over all the pretty pretties, and had a pretty good time. It was a wonderful day, about 65ish and sunny, so it was perfect Saturday Market weather.


Watched some guys tap dance, tried peruvian food (Which I've never had before, it was interesting. Not interesting-I-didn't-like-it interesting, but interesting-interesting. I had um...what did I have? I don't remember...it was chicken wrapped in this cornmeal type ball and cooked in a plantation leaf, fried plantains (Which I have had before, and don't know if I care for even after all this time. They're too corny tasting to make me think of Bananas, which I hate, and to banana tasting to make me offically put the like stamp on them.) and a cabbage type salad. It was pretty good....corny...spicey..gave me heartburn...I'd eat it again.), ran into some people I knew, got some kettle corn, and got stung in the face by a bee.


The last one wasn't exactly a highlight...but I had to throw it in for fun. It didn't hurt, the side of my face felt kind of funky the rest of the day, but it was no big deal. (Well...don't tell anyone, but in a secret dark corner of my little heart..I hope that bee flew off and landed all out of breath on the pavement and got squashed under the sole of somebodies tennie. Just...don't tell anyone I said that.)


On Saturday night OPIT was supposed to have an investigation but it didn't happen because of a medical emergency (Robin has a bad mouth and it was hurting her), so we'll have to reschedual it. I was bummed, it would have been a perfect night...but there is always next week.


Yesterday, I came over and Robin wasn't feeling any better so I gave her her mommies day present (A mothers necklace that was really cute..the only one I could find that didn't make me feel like my other had morphed into that gaudy pink haired lady from TBN) and went home and watched some movies, finished Gone with the Wind (I've never read it or seen the movie, so I decided I might as well...incase anyone cares...I didn't like it.) and ended up spending five hours in the Emergency Room trying to entertain poor Robin.


Just the way she wanted to spend her Mothers day too, dream come true.


While in the ER, I watched everyone (I watch people...but not in that creepy stalker way, I watch them because real people make the best characters. Plus, people do such amusing tricks. I wonder if they'll let me come and sit in the ER with a laptop and write character profiles.) I've decided a few things:



1. The ER sucks. Maybe not yours, but Salem Hospitals does. They're rude, inconciterate, and rude. (Did I mention rude?) They're the only hospital I've ever found who has the irrationality to ask a patiant who's in pain 'what do you want us to do about it?' Well shit, I don't know...didn't you go to medical school?


2. People bring their kids to the ER like it'll be some fun play date for them. I don't know why, I'm someones kid and the last place I'd want to play is the ER. Maybe I'm just some kind of throwback.


3. If you've broken your arm in three places, including your elbow, and your boyfriend is at home drinking your beer with another girl and refuses to come sit with you. You should dump him. (I'll tell this story another time, honest.)


4. Next time I'm in the hospital, I'm going to order pizza and see if they'll deliver to the waiting room. They deliver to the overnight rooms..why not the ER waiting room too?


5. I will never install cupboards into a room that have locks on the cupboard door, and lock them, so no one can steal anything, when the cupboard door has a huge hole in it for you to put stuff through. It defeats the purpose.


6. Just because the vending machine is in a hospital, dosen't mean the vending machine is sanitary.


Robin, is much better now, by the way. They gave her some meds and some other meds to knock out any infection and she's going to go see a dentist soon. One good thing did come out of the boring stay at the ER becides Robin being better, I came up with a good book idea...

Since the state has done everything in their power to keep this (and other incidents and things) out of the media, I'll report it.



A few weeks back a woman in Linclon City was attacked at her Home Childcare by a non custodial parent on drugs trying to steal the child. The woman did everything she could to keep this parent from entering the home, and in the process was horribly beaten. The 911 tape clearly has the non-costodial parent screaming 'Where are your knives bitch, I'm going to cut you up.'


A week later, insted of assisting her, the State of Oregon Childcare Division closed her childcare and fined her stating that she promoted a potentaly hazardus enviorment for children.


First, let me say that my personal opinion on this is once again the state has failed the childcare profession. The State of Oregon CCD spreds lies, runs a disorganized and irrational system, and promotes basicly, filth, to the general public to keep Childcare in a bad light. Insted of fixing the problem, they do everything they can to force the professionals in this business to quit so that the state can completely regulate state institutions that will be used for childcare.


Secondly, I'm tired of the media sucking up the state/parent side insted of talking to the people who actually do this job.

"It's too expensive", "We don't get good care", "They're all abusive", "If they ask for money, they're not good childcare providers!".

I'm tired of Time and Parent and all these other magazines and papers reporting that we're just a bunch of people who are responsible for the anger in young children and don't do good jobs.


They report the lone woman who was arrested for abandoning her childcare children, and ignore the woman who was closed by the state because her neighbor had a pool, or the dozens of woman who are physicly and verbally assaulted every year by clients who don't wish to pay their bill, or parents who don't have custody of the children. In the six years we've been in this area, I have been listed on over a dozen different restraining orders as a person to protect, and none of them were filed by me. I've been verbally assaulted by drunks, drug addicts, and physicly abusive men, and every single one of them were parents of a child in our care, and every single one got away with it because the state wants to 'protect the parents'. Yet, they got to turn around and report me with false claims to the state, and the state deems me the bad guy.

I've watched parents come to blows in our driveway over drugs, I've seen parents beat their children, I've seen blantant neglect and abuse, and not a single thing was done.


Why? Because the state has admited to me, that 'until they kill them, we won't do anything. But we'll come after you, because it looks like we are doing something'.


Oh joy, lord how I do love my job.


Now, please don't cringe and say you'll never move to Oregon. This is everywhere in the US. In fact, Oregon is one of the better states. It's a nationwide problem that's recieving nothing but cover ups and deaf ears. We're just Babysitters right? It's not a real job. I take care of your kids, I've got the most important job in the world.

Anyone else think it sad that 99% of the US population don't view their childrens care as important? Their children aren't people, their children are things they own. They don't want thier children, they could care less.


Think I'm being extreme? Nope, it's how it is...come to my job for a month. You'll see.


Ahha..I didn't think so. It's amusing to me, how everyone who bitches about us, wouldn't do this job. Who would? We only get 72 cents an hour.


There are, as in every profession, people who shouldn't be doing this because they're not good for the children. But, there is no reason that the garbage that goes on in this profession should continue any longer. No one out there but childcare providers know the truth about what's going on in this business. The public would be outraged if they knew the truth, that's why the state has laws like the federal one 'it's illegal to talk to any other childcare provider'. Did you know that? Yep..we can go to federal prision if we speak to another person who does childcare. Oh, exept, of course, in the state ran support groups.


I want to fix it, but I want out more...is that bad of me?

I'm bored. (Yeah yeah, "only boring people are boring". Well then chippy, that just makes me boring then too don' it? Goodie. Let me know when I start to make you fall asleep....hm...you think that's why people become hypnotists? Because they're boring and they can get people to fall asleep quick? Maybe that's what I should do. You are getting sleeepy....sleeeEEeeEpy...)

Ahem, I want to play a game. I'm currently taking your suggestions for a game. They have to fall into one of the catagories below:


* Horror

* Puzzle

* Horror/Puzzle


Yeah, really hard right? I have played almost every single horror/puzzle game out there...so let's see if someone can come up with one I haven't yet.

By request...





Still, one of the most amusing things I've seen around my town in a long time.

My war on food isn't getting better, it's getting worse. Becides the fact that people are using it against me to manipulate me. (IE: If you don't finish your lunch, I'll never play cribbage with you again. If you don't eat dinner, I'm going to tell everyone you stalked a Costco employee. If you don't eat tomorrow, I'm telling everyone you're really Jimmy Hoffa. See, evil people.) And becides the fact that it hurts like some granny smacking you upside the tummy with her cane, it's starting to take upon new symptoms that are really very uncomfortable.



I ate yesterday for the first time in two days, and shortly after eating (Applesauce, cottage cheese and an english muffin..sans butter because I don't eat butter) I was dragged to Costco. (Well, not dragged...driven...Costco, for those of you who don't know, is like a warehouse place where you can buy stuff in bulk, you have to be part of/own a company that has a membership there to get a card...well, you used to anyway.)

While walking through Costco I was suddenly taken over by the wonderful feeling of nausea. In fact, it was mostly the feeling you get before you get to revisit your last meal, but without the whole throwing up part. So, I wandered around Costco having a plesant little coversation with mysef....



You can't throw up in Costco you know.


I know I can't...I'm not going to, will you please stop looking at the meat? You're not helping you know.


It's just meat, would you rather I take a peek at what the sample ladies are giving out? I never realized Coscto smelled so much like food. We should buy some muffins, how about a chicken? They bake them here, so you can eat it right away...hey, you know..you don't look so good. Are you going to throw up? You can't throw up in Costco you know.


I'm not going to throw up. Please stop it...let's go look at books.

You're standing in meat section. How would that look if you threw up all over the Chuck Roast? Everyone else would start throwing up, on the Turkey, the Ham...even on the Chicken. Lord knows the Chicken never did anything to you to merit that kind of treatment. Poor Costco, the headlines would scream about this whole fiasco, they'd lose millions. Costco would never let you back in. They'd sue.


Will you please stop saying that?


Stop saying what? How about something frozen? We'll pop it in the oven when we get home. You can't throw up here either, no one wants to look at the butter case with puke in front of it. Ooo! More samples!


Throw up! Stop saying throw up! How can I not throw up when every two seconds you're saying throw up? Will you go away? I don't feel good, and don't you dare go over to the sample lady.


Well, fine. Geehsh, I was just asking because I care. You don't have to get all angry with me. I'll go away if you want me to...but first...how about a sample?


Will you just please shut up!?


But...it's Ravioli. I thought you liked Ravioli? You know, you don't look so good. You're not going to throw up are you? You can't throw up in Costco you know.


AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRGH!

Just when you think you've seen everything in this wide world of ours, you're confronted with something so horrifying, so not right that it makes you question the very moral fabric of society.


I'm not talking about politics, religion, or war...I'm talking about pre-cooked vaccum sealed bacon that dosen't have to be refrigerated. That's right, a product that you've always told must be refrigerated and fully cooked before you eat it so the threat of worms, food posining and other not so fun things is abolished, isn't so anymore.



I was walking through my local friendly neighborhood Costco, minding my own business and enjoying being out slacking for a little bit. Making my way down the isle, I spied it. Dark and greasy tucked between the Spam and the Hormel Chili....Always Crisp (I think?) Pre-Cooked Bacon.


"Why is it not refrigerated?" I yelled in complete horror. A package of six single serving pacakges, splotted with grease and looking horribly heart-attackesk like only the best bacon can. "It's not normal!" I shuddered in terror and moved my cart along as fast as I could to the next, more safer isle that included mundane things like tea and crackers. The type of things that belong on a dark kitchen shelf.


Sometimes, the world really scares me.

Food is a savage, unforgiving beast.



It's true. I haven't eaten in two-going-on-three days. (Don't ask me how going-on works, it's not on any calander, but it's there just the same.) Part of the reason is because it really does hurt when I eat, and the other part is because I'm just a huge yellow bellied (well, pale crayola peach colored belly, but it dosen't sound as smooth when you say it that way) chicken. Actually, I've been shunned by yellow bellied chickens everywhere. I think I now fall into the catagory of yellow bellied skittish housecat on Meth.



You can just call me The Gutless Wonder. (Striking fear into the heart of no one but herself!) It's my sad, sad, only claim to fame.



Anyway, that's beside the point...kind of. I know I should eat, because vast numbers of starving people throught the world have pretty much given solid proof to the theory that we've got to eat to survive. On the other hand, I've got the pain tolerance of a pansy and deep down inside I'm pathetic.



The choices ones forced to make when one has a tummy that should be returned for a full refund.

I just realized (shock, horror, gasp) that I completely missed the Aniversary of IBOM. (Pronouced, ironicly, "I Bomb". Because face it, I do.) Also known as Incoherent Babbilings, also known as this blog your cute little eyes are gracing right now.


I've been here for 1 year, 1 month, 6 days, 7 hours, and 24 minutes. (Give or take). I'm not planning on going anywhere either.


Poor you.

Weird searches that turn up my blog continue with "I love to wear diapers".


I don't, actually...ah..sorry? I don't get why anyone would want to wear diapers. I can't wait for kids to stop wearing diapers. Changing them in no way appeals to me, least of all sexually. I've heard, and no offense to anyone, that thearapy can help these things....

The ants are back.



Worse this time though, they're red ants. I went over to my house today to pick up a minitape for someone, and my entire front of the house was covered in red ants.



Yeah, I about died. It's not that easy to gross me out (I watch kids for a living, for gosh sakes) but ants (and spiders) can do it really quick. So, I gathered up my posse, and arming ourselves with spray that smells suspisiously like head lice shampoo (Another thing that makes me shudder), we met them varmits in a showdown. It was a grueling fight, and we lost a few of our brave people in the battle (They bite, oh...and did you know how fast people run when they land in their hair?) but in the end we were tired, disgusted, bitten and bruised, but we won.


Death to the ants!


I think we won anyway...I'm kind of too chicken to go back home and check.

The continuing adventures of Jamie's House of Bumps....literally.

So, while I'm signing a client up for web hosting, so I can put myself at the mercy of another slave driver. I thought I'd post on the continuing fun happenings at my house during the wee hours of the morning when everyone (including the damn dead) should be sleeping.

SLEEPING! But do you think they let me sleep? No, of course not, because it's soooo much more fun to keep me awake. Nope, insted of letting me sleep, I got about four hours worth of footsteps, banging, scratching and knocking on my wall and closet door in my bedroom, talking and someone going through my house and knocking things off the shelves, pushing things off the tables and knocking boxes in the back room over. They also pushed over all the stuff I had leaning against the wall in the garage, too.

Nice, wasn't it?

Damn dead people...look up eviction services for the dearly departed ok? I want some sleep.

Oh, and "thank you thank you thank you" to James who's been a total dearheart in helping me with this damn domain thing and listening to me whine and cry like the big baby I am.

Thank you. :)

Don't use 7thgate.com as a host. They're bad.

Just don't do it, they're bad. At least, that's my personal opinion of it. I first used them all the way back in 1998 to register kiddlets.com and have it hosted. For the first year they were great, but they changed management or owners or whatever and it just totally went down hill. They're technical contacts would leave, and they'd never give an account a new one, which means any changes to the domain couldn't be made because that contact didn't exsist anymore. It went almost TWO YEARS before I finally managed to get them to give me a new technical contact. Not only that, but they told me I didn't have any other domains hosted with them, and I do. Sorry, but to me that proves you have no idea whats going on in your company.

Then, they messed up on another domain I had hosted with them, and shut my account down, then charged me for the hosting anyway. I said fine, and I'd pay it, but they NEVER SENT ME THE TOTAL!

Now, eight months trying to get my domain released to me to move it to a new host, 16 letters, two phone calls, and 3 letters from other parties later I finally get a snobby letter back saying I only contacted them three times and it was only because they demanded payment.

Jerks.

At least the company they registered my domain with was nicer, they gave me all the options to have the domain transfered back so I could have access to it. I'm going to work on that this week, hopefully get it transfered because I'm paying hosting on ANOTHER host for the domain and the domain isn't even there!

Also, I paid for another domain and the check was cashed, and they guy hasn't transfered it to me yet. I don't want to be a pain about it, but I paid for it. It should have been done the day he cashed the check.

Just my opinion, of course.

I'm so sick and tired of people saying I'm a bad provider. (Deep breath) Ok, all better. Thanks Kelly, for listening to my verbal vomit, you're such a great friend. Oh..Kel got a new domain too! So go over and look before she gets it all moved so she gets all comfortalated with me and beats me up...::winks:: I gotta get my shots in before the Blogathon, because from the looks of it..she's plotting to blow me out of the water this year. (Them's fightin' words woman!) ;)

Speaking of the blogathon, I am planning on doing it this year, but I'm not sure what blog is going to be in it (this one, or if TPC is going to do the blog thing) or what exactly my stunt is going to be, although I do have a VERY good idea. It involves O.P.I.T, but that's all you get to know. (Notice a theme? Yeah..so? lol I'm not very creative)

Speaking of O.P.I.T (So we're not speaking, and it's the second time I've opened a paragraph with that. I told you, I'm not very creative) I've been working my buns off on O.P.I.T (Between paying clients) and I'm happy to say the Oregon Paranormal Investigation Team Team Procedures & Handbook (Version 1.0) is almost completed. I've also got the ID cards completed (sans laminating and photographs, so I guess that's almost completed) for the members. I'm so thrilled! :)

Eh..never did get to go on the investigation. Maybe sometime soon? Who knows. Too much other stuff going on, I probably won't find time until stuff calms down. I have been working on OPIT's stuff though. I've gotten all the ID cards (sans peoples pictures) done, and most of the handbook.

I had another one of my attacks or whatever you want to call them on Sunday night, so I haven't been feeling well at all. Stupid food. Who needs it anyway?

Well, if we go on our OPIT investigation thing (in a local school) tonight should be decided within the next four hours, so I will keep everyone up to date. If we don't go tonight we will go tomorrow night, so either way, right? I am going to be setting up a cam in one hall of the school so if anyone would like to watch it they can. I'm going to spend the next couple hours working on the OPIT blog page so I can keep everyone up to date on the investigations and what not.

Do you love me or what?

I'm so avoiding working on this..I know it won't get done if I don't do it, but damn..I don't wanna! So, I think insted I'll make a blog entry, and run to the store...and...

It's so beautiful out, I even did something productive. I cleaned out my garage. (Wowee right?) Last summer, for those who don't know, (What? Who cares if you don't want to know. Be quiet.) my Grandma's water heater broke and flooded her sewing room, she then stored a huge amount of her sewing stuff in my garage. Yip, right? Then it became three or four other peoples dropping grounds for 'stuff I just don't have room for right now so can you keep it here for me?'. So, I cleaned up all the stuff that was my junk, and everyone else gets to get their stuff out of my house.

Speaking of people and their stuff, Robin is using my dryer cause hers broke, and other people have been packing it over for her, and they've trashed my house! AAAAAAAAAAARRRRH! I'm not home enough to clean up after other people, dangit. (I found a pair of John's undies on my front porch today..it's not exactly my idea of a outside decoration.) Oh well...

Anyhow, tomorrow is Friday (Thank you Je-sus) and I'm hoping (so far so good) that OPIT is still doing the long-nighter at one of our haunts.(pun? what pun?) I will do my best as a friend, paranormal investigator and cool ghostie girl to take along the laptop and a digital camera so people can pop in and maybe watch some live stream action. (No, not that kind of action. The disembodied kind.)

We'll see how that goes. I'm going to finish up some work here and head home while it's still light and move my damned furniature into my guestroom. You know, so my illicit one night stands have someplace to sleep other then the floor.

We agreed, for some reason I'll leave up to a temporary bout of insanity, to do a childcare craft fair that's going on in the middle of this month. Basicly it's run at the same time as the AgFest, at the fairgrounds, and it's all these childcare providers who get together, have tables, and offer crafts to kids while they advertise their business.

For ten hours.

Lordie. So, I designed an eight page coloring book that we're going to offer, along with crayons. (You get a coloring book and a box of eight crayons. I can get five boxes of eight for a buck at the dollar store.) The lady who organizes this said we have to shot for about 200, so we're making 220 coloring books, all of which have to be stapled and folded by....me.

Ahhh...how I love this slave labor.

My comment system is down. Hopefully it'll be back up soon. ::pouts:: On a happy note, it's almost 6 and I'm going home!!! While it's still sunny out, amazing. (Thank you Je-sus) I'm going to go work on my guest room, so I can get the bed that's in my living room for it in there. Fun hu? Yup! :) What color should I paint it in there...any ideas? How about wallpaper? Curtains? Rugs? Hmm...



Oh, and Kins, since we're speaking through my blog these days - I couldn't call you because the phone was occupied and I can't call LD from home because I am sans a phone card. So, CALL ME, ok? If you can, that is..otherwise I'll give you a ring before you go to work tomorrow. (Write me, damnit)

Working in a preschool has an equal share of evil demon spawn and cute 'awwws'. I decided since everyone knows they want to know, I'd share something from my current list. It's all because I lobe oo.

Cute Crap:

The stuff that makes you feel terrible for ever entertaining thoughts of tying them up in the closet.

Booboful -
A few days ago we took a couple of our kids out for breakfast at one of those local bland food resturants that give kids (why always kids? I want some too) crayons to color with. One of our kids did a picture completely in a lovely dog poo brown color and then asked me what I thought.

"It's beautiful." says I.

"YESH! BOOBOFUL!" She screamed at the top of her lungs, with this huge dimpled grin on her face and apple juice dripping down her chin. Leaning over, she threw a purple crayon at me. "Mimi, Yush crayon. Yush color too" Nodding, she beamed "Booboful."

After yesterdays egg hunt, which rounded out with a whopping one kid, (They're holding another one next week..because someone didn't announce it...it's not because everyone hates me and I tainted the Easter candy..honest) I ended up going to a little Easter thing at the river. (Which, I'd like to say, was very very pretty for the end of March.) It was pretty uneventful. Just sitting around in the nice spring sun enjoying the fact that I wasn't getting frantic phonecalls, didn't have any appointments, and no one wanted anything from me right now.

How come every day can't be like that?

Happy Easter ta everyone. I'm off to run an egg hunt. Hope everyone has a good day. :)

I'm sleepy. This morning I dragged myself out of bed at 4:30, so I could be at a local school at 5:30 for an OPIT inves. It was quite alot of fun, even if it was an ungodly hour. We went there, and within the first ten minutes of being there got all sorts of bangs, and stuff falling over, and it was really cold in one room. We also got sounds of people moving around (Since it's Saturday and spring break, no one was there but us, and no one had been there all week. Which was one reason it wasn't as active as we're told it normally is.) and footsteps, and the kewlest part? I was sitting in one of the classrooms on a couch, and there was no wind or breeze or anything in there (from like a heater or anything) and this one strand of my hair goes flying up and starts moving around all on it's own.

One of the kids thought my hair was 'nice' and wanted to play with it. ::snickers:: It was so neat.

We were there about three and a half hours, and had to come back here because we have to work today. We're planning on going back for a long-nighter on Friday. The energy there is more active after a full week of high strung disfunctional kids running around all day. ;) We came back, and loaded the two we have today up and went out for breakfast, came back and watched a REALLY BAD Godzilla movie and then ran out to H.O.M.E to stuff eggs for the egg hunt tomorrow...now what to do with myself? I haven't listened to the tapes from this mornings inves (Got about 300 minutes worth of tapes to listen to) I'll post anything if we got it, I was also thinking about going and seeing a movie after I'm off work (Only five hours to go!)..any suggestions?

For some reason when people download the sounds in the post below they get alot of static and can't hear anything. I have NO idea why because when *I* listen to them (or even download them from my site) they work just fine.

I'll try and fix it.

A Story In Sounds: A Trip To The Graveyard

Hold your mouse over the links to see what each sound says, click to download.

Last night two of OPIT's (Oregon Paranormal Investigation Team) Members went Millers, our graveyard of choice. (Never bitter! Goes down smooth! Yeah..I could pull that off if I drank.) It was an awesome night, totally clear, the moon was huge and there were no weather problems. Not even a breeze. We never really have to use flashlights because it is so bright there. For those of you who aren't real up to speed on Millers (What? Don't you read my archives?) Here's the Skinny:

Millers was a plot of land donated by (dum dum dum) the Miller family in the 1800's to be used as a private graveyard for people of Silverton. The graveyard has quite a few plots, and is situated on a crappy (seriously dangerous) road at the top of a hill. The road is used alot, which causes problems for lil' ole me to distinguish what's what. (I'm good at it though...I think.) There is a very small, very 'night of the living dead' white church on the land that's only used when there is a funeral. (Yes, Millers is still used, the most latest burial was '00) The church has five huge windows going down both sides, and is full of old wooden pews. It has three doors on the front, one set of double doors, and one single door on the other side. Why, I have no idea. The church is unlocked during the day, and in the summer, unlocked at night. It would make an awesome investigation in itself, because you're always watched from the windows, no matter when you go there.

There is, for those of you who are wondering, a nice little outhouse on site too. (Hey, it beats driving back into town..even if it's an outhouse. I hate outhouses. I have Sanophobia. I swear.)

We were there for about two hours, and within the first ten minutes of being there we heard footsteps, whispers, and I was called a stupid fucking bitch (On tape! Not by people with me.) because the batteries in someone elses recorder was dead.

Wasn't that nice? Yep, cause we all know I am one. Uhhu.

We were greeted, and were noticed by other spirits too, and a couple more. We also got some weird little odds and ends (and another one..or two), as well as a couple bits of some helpful advice. The rest of the evening was spotted by footsteps (gravel crunching, leave crunching, stick breaking), sighs, strange noises (I do not squeak!), and heavy breathing.

Gee, and I didn't even have to put out.

We have a tentitive schedualed Invest. tonight with four of OPIT back at Millers, we also have schedualed an investigation tomorrow morning at 5 (AM, yes...AM) at one of our local schools, which has a whole plethora of activity going on. I can't wait. I love this crap.

Seems these posties are turning from a multi-daily thing into a sometimes-weekly thing. It's just been one of those months where so much is going on that is frustrating, I just don't want to talk about it. I don't want to talk about it in my blog, in my normal journal, to my friends, I don't want to talk about it period. I'd rather spend my time doing something fun, or laughing, then hashing over everything that's going on. Talking about it makes me focus on the fact that I can't do anything about it, which frustrates me. Which makes me want to cry, not that cheap fake movie 'something in my eye' crying, but the kind that makes you look like you were jumped in a dark alley and beaten with the flat end of a tennis racquet. Nothing like waffle marks to make the day complete, right?

So, since stuff is being so dang frustrating, I find it hard to want to be amusing (Or, that sad and pathetic attempt at amusing) here, so I don't post. So, that's my exscuse. No, I didn't really join a traveling house of ill repute, honest. Maybe I should though, whores get the cutiest undies.

I'm sick. (Yeah, insert sympathetic sounds here) Not just in my head either! The icky flu type sick. Just thought I'd share. You feel bad for me doncha? Yep..so send me presents.

Waving a flag is not patriotic.
Making sure no one in our country is starving or homelss is.

Just my opinion.

Nope, I haven't posted for a long time. There's a bunch going on, but I don't feel that any of it is blogworthy. (Or perhaps I just lack the ambition to put it here.) I'll post something mediocre soon. Promise.

TPC Prana: I like to be thourough
TPC Prana: I am borg
TPC Prana: resistance is futile
Rhea Rhyolin: I don't want to assimilate
Rhea Rhyolin: I mean, I love you and everything
Rhea Rhyolin: but...not that much
TPC Prana: lol
TPC Prana: you know you wanna be my drone bitch
Rhea Rhyolin: Yeah, I lust after your wrists

Yeah...I'm sorry

Someone found my site by searching for 'My childcare provider is discriminating against my child'

............yeah

I'm tired....lol

I picked up that new job, so I've been doing alot of prep work to get it going. They don't know what exactly they want on the web site yet, so that's kind of holding things back from me getting it online. Arg-grr. lol.

I've also agreed to do childcare for a couple who have a child from my moms church. The Gov. will pay me, so it won't come out of their pockets, which is nice. She's a sweet kid. However, I have to go get fingerprinted before they'll pay me. WOO! I've never been fingerprinted before..this should be fun. (We all know I'm some heap big bad killer)

On other news, my mom got engaged! Yeah, great hu? Her ring is very pretty...lol. They've set the wedding date for July 7th...Donna is planning it, but I've decided to weasle my way in to helping, I love planning stuff..she dosen't get all the fun! (Donna is also planning her sons wedding for like four days after my moms..crazy woman) Yep..so Congrats to my mom, who dosen't read this. But congrats to her anyhow.

Happy Birthday Missa!

A very happy birthday to Missa :) Go over and wish her happy birthday alright? She's a great friend and an even better Perv. ;)

Um...I believe someone found my site while searching for 'Dinner Diapers'. I have a few questions for you.

1: What are Dinner Diapers, and why does my site come up with that search? (Why oh why?)
2: Who's idea was Dinner Diapers...are they diapers you wear at dinner? If so, that's sick.
3: Why were you searching for them? Do you wear them? Does someone you know wear them? Does someone I know wear them? Do I wear them and not know I wear them?

Just curious...

Congradu-freaking-lations to Jackiewakie of Jackiewakies Snow Pornage Childcare for winning Childcare Provider of The Year.

We are soooooooooooooo proud of you. (And that ain't wasn't no sarcasinim neither.)

Love ya Jackie.

On other topics, I've been incredablly busy. I picked up another client yesterday (No, not that kind of client, a website client.) fun yeah? Yep, I'm now the offical webmistress of The American Landlord Association. The site hasn't been propped yet, so you just have to wait. Words can't describe my feelings. ::Grins:: I was also asked if I would do bankrupsies and other fun things under one of their Sub.Sids that do collections and legal work for them, so sometime today I get to learn how to file BR's. Which is kind of kewl, I always like learning something new.

Learning is fun, and contrairy to popular belief, you can trust me with all your important matters.

Ally called me! ::does a happy dance:: I rarely get to talk to her so I'm always happy when I do. I got a letter from her too! Very kewl..she needs a computer though (now, right this second). ::sniffle::

My weekend was long...I got a opal ring and a necklace out of the jewelry party on Sunday though, here..wait...lookie:

My ring, nice yes? Yeah..ok, you can't see it very well..but anyway Donna gave it to me for helping with her party last month..and Robin told me to pick something out for helping last night. So I got jewelry. ::does a dance:: And it isn't even my birthday!

I've got Gummi Bears! I've got Gummi Bears! and yoo-ou don't...

Thank you, Mellie. ;)

The Pervert Club is back! Even if you don't read it, please stop by and tell me what you think of it's layout ok? I worked hard on it...::sniffles:: and I need someone to tell me I dun good! Because I'm a baby.

Thank you.

Gee, someone should have told me "Graveyard Boogies" graphics were broken. I would have fixed them..but NO, no one told me, and now I have to fix them!

Rain! It's back! I'm going to be sad when winter is over and the sun actually comes back out here in Oregon. (For like 80 days, that's about all we get. I think the stats are Oregon gets 130 days total a year of sun. Everything else is rain or overcast. Gotta love it. Well, this part of Oregon anyway.) I love the rain, it's relaxing and comforting and refreshing. Winter rain is alot different then Summer rain, but I like them both. The only problem with Winter rain is you can't walk around in it quite as much, because it's so darn cold. Yeah..I love the rain, and it's not just because I like being wet either. Jesh, thats sick, where do you come up with this stuff?

I love frogs, can you tell? Here's my newest his name is Stumpy...his tag says so.

So, I've reserved our stores website (well, our soon to be store when we (erm I) get the business plan done and we get to the fun bank for a loan. Send me 'give Jamie money for a store' vibes ok?) so now I get to do layout and the fun part...STUFF for the store!

So, if any of you out there have seen really great hand made stuff, or have a not-so well known product you swear by, or something you'd like to see in a giftshop. (Our shops going to be a combination metaphysical/Halmark, it'll be kewl) Please please send it my way, I need all the stuff I can get my greedy little hands on. Please?

ALLYSON WAITS! (Don't make me use your full name, I can! I will!) Write me back! I know you're out there, I see you slinking around. You've left COMMENTS! Woman! Call me or write me or SOMETHING! ::hyperventalates:: Don't you check your email? ::has a heart attack and dies::

There...are you happy now?

I saw the cutiest thing yesterday morning. There is a Rhody bush that sits right up against my house, and most of the branches are right up against my bedroom window. Well, yesterday morning I got up, and I heard all this twittering so I go and look out my window, and in the Rhody bush was probably about one hundred tiny, fat, adorable little birdies eating the bugs off the bush. It was so cute! I watched them for about 30 minutes (which was why I was late to work, honest..) and then the damn crows scared them away. I'm hoping they come back tomorrow, I want to get pictures. They came right up to the window and everything, it was great!

My cats watched them too, and stretched up against the window, and meowed, and meowed, and gave me 'Please let me outside so I can chase birdie' looks. For those of you who are worried, no..I didn't let them out.

Michael thinks I'm cool. I feel so special. (It's the little things, you know..)

I'm dying in 45 years, at least according to the soap in my bathroom. Yeah..I'm weird, but it's not like the soap said it. I was messing with a bar of soap, bending it, and according to how many seconds it took to break was how many years I've got left in this stink hol..er...in this magnificant life. ::grins:: So, go find some soap that's half gone in your bathroom and see how long you've got left. If you're croaking soon...can I have your computer?

The Shane Co. is really pushing buying someone an engagement ring for Val Day. I'm sitting here listening to the radio and have probably heard the Advert. at least six times in the last hour. Too bad they can't tailor normal radio to each listener. I don't want to hear about engagement rings, no ones buying me one. I wish someone would by me one, or any ring, or flowers, or chocolate, or boiled cabbage...I'm not picky! But no...no one loves me. It's just all so damn sad. ::grin::

I noticed Veoweb bought space for a Pyra Ad. Spif, let me just tell you now..::coughs and says in her best 'paid endorcement voice'::

Veoweb is the best. I use them for TPC and they've always been very quick to fix a problem or answer a stupid question. (which I have ton of.) And they offer everything you could ever want (Well, everything I could) for cheap.

You can't beat that.

Oohhhhhhh Dreeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmweeeeeeaver. At 97%. Let's see if this ones better then Fusion.

USDA paid up! Cross those cyber piggies that it's the amount I need to pay my rent. I spent two and a half hours yesterday talking to my landlady, she's not evicting me, but I can't keep being late because other people don't pay me. Then I'll really get evicted. But ::does a happy stupidusdacheckisin dance:: Yay.

Robin had a class last night (Ah..I'll explain here for you new peoples. Robin is my mom, she's also the best. I refer to her as Robin because it's her real people name, and to me my mom isn't just my mom, she's a real people too. I love her.) on these esential oils she's all into..(it's really kewl..although some of them aren't my idea of good smells) she learned how to do a physical on a person that can rival any doctors physical just by feeling their aura. (Get that weirdo look off your face.) She also learned this freaky trick she made me do over and over, so I'm gonna make you. So try this! It's super weird. (I just say super?)

Get a peice of fruit, or a veggible (Yes, Veggible) and then get something that ISN'T a fruit or veggible. Chocolate, marshmellows, something in that lovely fifth food group. Then stand facing south with your back to north. (Which would happen, if one was facing south, just shush!) Hold the fruit or veggible to your solar plexus, covered with your hands. Take a deep breath, close your eyes, and ask yourself if you need to eat that veggible or fruit. (This is kewl, trust me) If you do, you'll fall forward, if you don't, you'll fall back. Try it with the other food too and see what happens.

Yes Yes, I didn't believe it either till I did it...it's a trip! Try it and tell me what happens, ok? I want to know if I'm the only crazy person out here who tries other crazy peoples whims.

The Incoherent Babblings of Me
Population:1
Home of Hot Tushies and Snotty Kims..according to recent serches leading to my site.
Oh yes, I am so proud.

It's snowing! It's snowing! Little tiny itty bitty baby snowflakes. ::does the snow dance:: It is so great.

I love snow.

I hate spam. The last five days almost 70% of the mail I get has been spam. I don't need my penis enlarged, I couldn't care less what 'Ms. Cleo' has to tell me, I don't want to try my luck at an online casino, and if one more person sends me an 'important notification' I'm going to tell them where they can shove their internet cash generator.

I think some cruel disgusting evil person somewhere who hates me (Hurts my feelings..it does..) goes around and signs me up for crap email while giggling in their little maniacal way. Little beady eyes stare at the screen in some dark room on some fourth floor apartment building that smells like month old sweat socks and rotting pizza boxes and this person sits there hunched over a sticky (No, we won't go there) keyboard typing in my email address at 99wpm and screaming their act of revenge to heaven in a high pitched vermin-like voice.

Well, I'm on to you buddy! I know it's not those fabled 'bots' signing me up for crap mail! It's you!

I'm not obsessed, I swear I'm not....::twitch...twitch::

Kao's for Pran and Blue..put in a request now and I'll make you one too.

(Woo baby, that rhymed!)

Couple things:

I don't know why I come up when you search 'alternitive lifestyle' at AOL along with 3 apes. I don't count being weird as alternitive, it's called unique. Damnit.

Yes, I am Rhea Rhyolin..who was it that looked up my SN and found my blog? If it was someone I already know, what were you..bored?

Yes, I own Hot Lake.com and kind-of own Hot Lake.net, no they aren't open. So, please don't write me and yell at me for this. I get about five letters a week just on people finding my blog because of Hot Lake. The site will be open when I get it open..that's the best I can do. :/

For the rest of you who find me because of weird search things...leave me comments or something? Please? You'll make me feel special and then I'll love you forever.

And you know you want that.

I'm currently typing "Report to Parents of Need of Medical Attention" form. These are the forms we give parents after we've beat the children and they need to see a doctor. ;)

The first guy (Kissie Kao) is not transparent, I do not know why. I also can't find his (Yes, he's a he) frames to alter that. I suppose I could go through the trouble of opening him all up in Animation shop and doing it there....::sigh::

Alright..I'll do it, but only because that white bugs the crap out of me. ::grin::

I'm a great big Kao-Ani freak. (Alright, I'm a freak without the Kao-Ani part.) I spent the very rare and few spare minutes this weekend drawing some.

Want to see? I knew you did. They're posted at TPC too, but for those of you who don't read there..here you go:

You've got to admit, the little buggers are durn cute.

I'm a mess. I mean, becides in my head. I'm one huge bruise. It's pathetic. On Friday night I feel down the stairs leading into the classroom. Yes, it was one of my more graceless momments. Went a good five feet and rug-burned my knees and arm, I sprained my wrist too. REALLY REALLY sad. lol. I also spilt my dinner all over the floor. Which was really sad, because I actually felt like eating for once.

Then on Saturday I spent the day at a jewelry party, I being the nice person I am, offered to help with things, and was put to work. Where I promptly spilt juice concentrate all over the top of a pitcher because I didn't take a lid off, hit someone with a peice of pineapple I was cutting up, got sick when I took a bite of the shrimp dip, and got a nasty bite from a dog when he lunged for the toy we were playing tug-of-war with and got my hand insted. ::giggle:: Other then that, I had fun. I didn't buy anything though because I only had 20 bucks with me..but Robin did book a party, so maybe I'll buy something at hers.

Nothing really terrible happened yesterday...Worked for a couple hours at Robin's church (I provide childcare during services, aren't I sweet?) went to Pearls of Wisdom (a really kewl store) and then to a 'Mind, Body, Spirit' Expo which was overpriced and full of things I can do anyway. Erm..does that sound way egotistical? It's not how I mean it. (But it's always kewl to watch someone else do a reading.) lol.

I did end up staying up till 5:30 this morning though because my tummy was being cruel. You know, I haven't been hurting when I eat or anything lately, and I really REALLY LIKE IT! So, I was not happy when all of a sudden I was hurting again. :( And now I'm sore...leftovers from last night my back is bothering me something awful. See, it's what I get for saying I can 'do all that anyway'. Karma...geesh.

Dangit...

I was making some lunch for Robin and myself, (rice) and the bowl blew up. It did! I stuck water in it, and it sizzled and poped and then broke into a bunch of peices and rice and water went everywhere.

::grumble:: So what am I going to have for lunch now?

Good News...sort of. I got paid a bit, so I won't be powerless or waterless. But I still might be homeless, which is worse then the first two 'less'es combined. Hopefully I scrounge up rent (830, 230 of it is from last month, my landlady is being a total angel about this.) by the 15th, cause that's when it's due. I would like to make it perfectly clear to everyone, that when I'm rich (and I will be) none of you will ever be lessless! Because I love ya, and that's what rich people should do for their friends and family. Doncha think?

On to other news....I scared the bejesus out of Robin this morning. (A girl has to have some kind of entertainment right?) This silver van that bears a remarkable resemblance to one driven by two certain state agents who we all know and love (snort) pulled up, so I went out to the classroom (I was on kitchen cleanin' duty..yahaw) and said "Hey Robin, the state just pulled up"

Well, I thought that's who it was. It wasn't though (and I'm so disapointed, let me tell you.) it was some guy selling car vacs.

So he says.

I've decided it's an undercover state spy and they wanted to come in and make sure we put that face plate on the ceiling before they dragged us off to jail for six months kicking and screaming.

Well...he could have been.

Yay, in four days my power and water get shut off. This'll be fun..let's play 'Le's see if Jamie get paid between now and when she'll be in the dark waterless'

Fun, fun fun stuff.

I've got a story for you.

As some of you know, I'm into the whole paranormal investigation thing. As some of you know, I live in a house that has a few ghosties of it's own. (No, it dosen't bother me.) Well, for the last five months or so I've had alot of cupboards being opened. I go into the bathroom, come out...all the cupboards are open, I go to work, come home...all the cupboards are open. I go into my room, get up in the morning...all the cupboards are open. Scary? Terrifying? No, annoying as all get out though. It dosen't bother me bother me, but I do get tired of shutting cupboards every time I walk through a room.

So last night, for the first time, I finally saw who's opening my cupboards. See, I had walked into the kitchen and shut the cupboards there, walked back through my living room, into the hall, as I turned by my bedroom door to go to the bathroom for something, I glanced into the kitchen and saw a really tall guy standing there in the shadows, bent over, with his hand on my cupboard. It was one of those quick glances and keep movings, so I took like three steps and went "Was someone just in my kitchen?"

So I walked back over there, and the cupboard was wide open. Grrrr...so I shut it. And kind of glanced around out in the laundry room and stuff..but of course no one was there.

It was a little weird, but more kewl then weird. ::dances:: I saw the dork who keeps opening my cupboards...now to just get him to stop.

I love that little delete button.

"Sorry, publishing is temporarily unavailable."

Sucks for me. You should count your blessings.

Why. Why why why. Whywhywhywhywhy did I take on a project that obviously extends itself past my pathetic and laughable HTML and graphic skills? Someone hit me in the nose. I suppose if I put some effort behind it I could make it work the way I want it too. I should have it done by now, you know. (Effort or slues of whining to people smarter then I. OhhelpmebecauseyouareaGOD whining. Youarejustsomuchbetterthenme whining. Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease whining. Maybe a tear or two for good measure.) Effort, it just takes so much effort to put out effort. I'm so sad, where's that punch in the nose? (No, wait, I'm just jo-....ow.) I'm such a baby, alright. It's not that hard, I'm sure I can do it, if I'd just do it. Uhhu. Damn me and me need to one up my other personalities all the time anyway.

I've been offered two jobs. The first, is watching kids at my moms church during services. It pays better then what I make doing it where I normally work. The second, is doing inventory for a local vet thing, which pays pretty good too. I've taken the both because I have no other choice, the job I have alone isn't cutting it, and unfortunatly I don't make money being a smartass.

I love presents. I love boxes. I love presents that come in boxes. I love neat presents that come in boxes. I love neat presents that come in neat boxes from friends. I love neat presents that come in neat boxes from neat friends.

Thank you. For my neat boxes. My neat presents. And being neat friends.

Oh speaking of comments. (Alright, this has nothing to do with comments, but it runs along the same line as fans, so hush.) If you've linked to me, and I haven't linked back, or don't know you've linked to me, send me your information. I'm all for equal linkage in Bloggerland. (Plus, it makes me feel all warm and fuzzily inside.)

Look, comments have returned, thanks greatly to YACCS. Much lovies. Now comment, or I'm going to hunt you down and hurt you with my wooden spoons.

I resent the comment that I discriminate against fruit and vegitables. I never! I've never discriminated against any organic product, ever. Especally not a fruit OR a veggible (cough..yes, I said veggible.). I've never shook a coconut, I've never squeezed a melon (Ok, there was that one time..but this has got NOTHING to do with this), or poked at a tomato, and I never told a kumquat to go back where it came from. I don't know where you'd ever get such an idea. Of all the nerve. Next you'll be telling me I discriminate against my cookwear. I've never called a pot or a kettle any shade of any color remotely close to black ever. Talk like that makes Baby Jesus cry, and you don't want that now do you?

Oh yes, Happy New Year to everyone. :) I hope you all had jail-less New Years Eves, and a great new year. Because you deserve it. (Because I said so.)

I've had a couple people ask me about the orange comment. Here's the skinny babe. According to a rumor I intercepted while working on a sub..er...wait, no. According to something told to me in far more mundane ways, I was told if you beat someone with oranges in a burlap sack, they'll cause internal bruising, but no outside marks.

Kewl, said I.

I don't know if this is real, or just some Urban Legend, Wishful Thinking or Sick Idea, but so far I've found nothing that confirms OR disproves this little tidbit o' information. Ahh..Orange beatings. That reminds me of when I was a kid, and we used to have potato beatings. Now them were real beatin's! You'd stand in the feild after a long day of potato pickin' and you'd get whapped in the back of the head with a sack of potatos! YES! Everyone got beat with them potatos, cause that's the way it was! Then you'd walk home, 12 miles through potato feilds, potato peices, and bits o' eyeballs and whatnothaveyous. Cause you'd get hit in the back of the head with that ole sack o' potatos and you'r eyed pop right outta yer head and go flyin. I miss them potato beatin's...those were the good ole days.