What's the proper Elizabethan torture to implement for a neighbor that points a sprinklers stream directly into your open bedroom window for roughly five hours thus soaking everything inside your room to the core, including electronics and your matress? While we're at it, what is also the correct form of agony to mortally wound a health insurance company that says you have 'till the 20th of the month to pay your premium and you pay it over a week before it's due and they cut you off anyway four days before your payment deadline?

Thumb screws? Boiled? Iron Maidens? Presses? Hot pokers to gouge out their eyes while giggling with horrific glee?

Just curious.