My template is missing. Isn't that great? Yeps...just what my evening needed. ;)
I'm sitting here working on a layout for this site, which is supposed to open noon tomorrow for a little overnighter blog thing we're doing to celebrate the opening of our new home.

Let me say it now. Great. Big. Ha.

I spent most of the evening trying to get Moveable Type to work, and it wouldn't, and finally installed Greymatter which decided it would be sweet and work for me. It's (GM) working peachy fine now, thank goodness. Only took about three hours and a whole entire vocabulary of vulgar Sailor-isims that I didn't even know I knew. Now I just have to put together a layout, get it all working, and make it look reasonably decent in time for our opening tomorrow. (Well, decent enough that no one pukes up their guts if they choose to visit, or, God grant us and protect us, visit twice.) I'm sure I can do it, I'm just so...so...sore. It hurts to move and breathe, and as much as I can't stand sounding like a whiner...::whine:: it huuuuu-uuurts. I feel like someones been beating me with a bag of oranges.


What? Wha'd I get for Christmas? You don't really want to know do you? You do?


I got a really awesome frog vase and an aromatherapy kit from Bob. (The guy my mom is dating) I got frog socks, some frog figurines, pots and pans for my place (which I NEEDED) a couple books...fun stuff! I however, once again, didn't get salt and pepper shakers. Two years in my place this June and I STILL don't have them.

Someone buy me salt and pepper shakers!
Another Christmas has gone. ::waves bye:: Mine was pretty good, I hope you all had a great one. You deserve it. I spent most of the day at my Moms, had dinner...she had a house full. Then a bunch of people trompped over to my house because I was the offical Preset Wrapper Keeper and everyones stuff was at my house. Remind me to be more organized next time I do that, ok?


I hope you and yours have a wonderful holiday season, and a great new year. :)


30% of my hits are comprised of the people who refresh over and over and over to see all my quotes. It's nice to know other people are as easily amused by that as I am.
You would think after two decades of doing Christmas shopping I would learn not to attept it when there is only four days left till Christmas, but unfortunatly I'm a dork, and obviously I don't learn from prior holiday fiascos. It's at these times I realize how painful being stupid can be. :)

Last night at about 8:30 (right after I got off work) I decided to head out to Wal-Mart and spend money I don't have (See: Jailtime) on stuff for Christmas because my siblings weren't getting anything because my mom is just as bad off as I am. (We're getting our power shut off on the same day. How's that for mother-daughter activites?) In fact, they don't have a tree! But I got some money today so I'm going to go get them one, because they need one. Yeah..anyway...

Pulling into the Wal-Mart parking lot was a sign from above that it wasn't one of my better ideas. There's a point in which a crowded parking lot turns into the scene for a bloody disaster movie in which the ground shakes and opens up and swallows all the screaming plastic-happy little Christmas shoppers and cars pile upon cars until they touch the sky and you can't even begin to see the front of the store. The parking lot was a mear few minutes from reaching this point. I was wondering if I could get in and get out before I ended up falling down a bottomless hole through the center of the earth, knowing my luck, probably not.

The holiday season was obviously all around me, from the first minute out of the car I was filled with the immense joy of Christmas with the loving, caring, happy-filled snippets of conversation I overheard. If you just would have cleaned the back of the car out, it would have fit! You're so fucking dumb. Oh yes, Christmas has arrived.

The actual shopping was uneventful. As usual everything was picked over (again, you think I'd learn?) and overpriced. (29 bucks for a G.I. Joe? I think not.) We got some things, and headed for the check-out counter. The lines were long, and the smell of Wal-Mart's in house McDonalds was pushing me to the point of yuking on the poor man in front of me shoes, I decided to go outside. :)

Stale coffee, car exsaust, cold Oregon air and unruly children. Christmas! Got to love it. The poor sky so lit up by streetlights of down town I couldn't decide if it was plum or dusty rose. Snippets of conversation where every third was in Spanish (no offense to hispanic people....). Almost-car accidents, snippets of English conversation...

Why do you jump into conversations that aren't any of your...

I still have what you got me...

I know what the perfect gift...

Hold on to the cart, hold on to the cart...

You almost got hit by a car, that's so funny...

Yeah. Right. So after about 20 minutes of watching people, freezing my tootsies off and wondering why the hell I did this again this year, my partner in sufferage came out of the store and we left. We weren't finished, so we went to Fred Myers. Again like last year, Fred Myers was empty and cheaper. You think I'd learn.


You know what I hate? When someone steals your domain.

You know what I hate more then that? When they offer to sell it back to you for fifty thousand dollars.



I'm eating potato chips dipped in mashed potatos.

No..I swear I'm not pregnant.


I'm actually kind of upset. I'm broke. (Not just broke, really broke. Extremely broke. Powershuttingoffevictionwatershuttingoffnofood broke.) I can't afford a Christmas tree and probably won't get one. I didn't have one last year eaither because I couldn't afford it. All I wanted for my birthday was an Ice Cream cake and I got one of those, all I want for Christmas is a tree.

See, I don't ask for much.

Happy Birthday Michael! :)

You know I love ya right? ::grin:: Hope you have a good one. (Yes, I know it's tomorrow)
I'm having a rash of very weird dreams, weird enough that they've been turned into short story plots. (My favorite kind of dreams, to be honest) Not this one though, this one...I think it confirms the fact that I'm insane.

I was in the park next to the house I used to live in up in Eastern Oregon, it was the city park and it was pretty small. Next to the swing set was a huuuuuge old oak tree that had been there for ages. Next to the fence between the park and the house I lived in, was a little grove type area of little trees and lillac trees.

I was talking to some friends and walking next to the little grove and suddenly a huge swarm of bees comes flying out of the oak tree and attacks me. I swat at them but they don't go away so I go running, like the idiot I am, and run through the fence into the yard. The bees followed me though and started stinging me, and I was screaming and everything...

Then something startled me and woke up. What was weird about all that? When I woke up I was staring at my wall and I swear there was six or seven spiders crawling up my wall. I "eww"ed and jumped up out of bed and turned on the light. When I went back over to the wall to look, there were no spiders.

See, that proves it. I'm crazy.


::bursts into tears::

I'm loved!

Look! Kimmi Boo made this for me. ::sniffles:: and then today, I found this one in my mailbox.

Thank you. ::sniffles:: I love them.
Happy Birthday To Me...Happy Birthday To Me...


I hate Malls. I don't like the crowds, or the noise, or the people...or the people. But I like to shop, and in the spirit of Christmas I forgo my deep seeded hate of Malls so I can buy people presents that they need. I went to the mall today, it wasn't that bad this time. Very crowded, very smelly, very noisey...but I found some neat presents for some people.

I went to Made In Oregon, which is an awesome store..which obviously from the title means it carries stuff made in well..Oregon. I love it in there, you can find some of the greatest and neatest things. Yep, some people did get presents from there...what? You? Maybe you...you never know. I also found some neat presents in a couple other stores.

I also took a detour to Best Buy, a store I don't care for, to pick up some CD-R's. While we were there I saw one reason why I hate crowds. Some lady had brought her one/two year old and the kid was screaming and crying, so she 'osshy gooshied' it and let her down. She completely ignored the kid while the kid pulled almost a entire half-asle of products off the shelf.

Talk about bad parenting.


Stupid dumb people started a new list. Do I care? No..it just hurts my feelings really bad when people are cruel when I didn't do anything.

Nada, bipkiss, nothing. I'm NICE! Why do people want to be mean to the nice person?

That's ok! Who needs them! Yeah..then why do I feel like crying?
For those of you who know me, you know about Hot Lake. If you don't...Hot Lake is a old closed resort/hospital in Eastern Oregon that's haunted. I also own the only web site on it on the `net. (I don't count pages that have one picture of it as a site. Sorry.) I probably can't say that for long, because it's gaining popularity, but for now I can say with pride, I'm the only freak with a site on Hot Lake.

Anyway, about a year ago I opened a mailing list so fans of Hot Lake could chat. We did pretty good, got about 70 members through it's year alive, but unfortuantly 90% of the members we got couldn't get along for the life of themselves. Even if Satan was standing there pushing a pitchfork up their backside they'd still bitch about someone else on that list. After a year of this constant childish bickering and personal attacks on me because of other members behavors I deleted the list. (R.I.P at exactly 12:00 pm on December 7th 2001.)

The straw that broke the camels back, so to speak? Due to a fight that started last Summer I had to make a rules txt that autosent to the list once a month, well someone 'didn't like it' and demanded I stop sending them the rules. Another person did, then another. So I wrote and said..don't like it, remove yourself. Ta-ta baby. The rules are there so you know, and it's not changing. Well, proably to chap my hide, someone wrote a letter that just said 'fuck' over and over. He wanted a rise out of me, and I didn't do it..in fact I removed him with a smile. :) Then someone wrote a letter about having sex in Hot Lake, well...they thought it was a great topic. I found it disrespectful to the building, their spouces and the rest of us, but I ignored it because I was sick of dealing with them. Well, other people thought the same as me, and wrote and said so..which started a fight.

Since one of the people who wrote and said it was disgusting knew me, someone ELSE on the list wrote and said I was sticking up for the friend I know, and wait..here..read it yourself:

I just wanted to tell you and everyone elce that I am sorry for what I said today, I didnt do it to fight with anyone, someone posted a question and I posted my answer, thats all, some people got defencive and I told them I was sorry, they called me names and I defended myself, Thats it, I said to everyone that I was sorry and that was it,

You know, You may get mad at me for saying this but I am going to say it anyways, Their have been alot of problems with this groop because of people, and I understand how you can be upset because of all of it, I would be too.
I went by your rules, I defended people, I have been a good member, Up till today, Someone Posted a question regarding HOTLAKE ( It wasent off topic if it was about hotlake ) and I posted my answer to it, People got upset when they seen it, SO I said I was sorry ! And the people who got upset posted messages calling me and others who posted a reply, names ! You tell me how you can defend those people, What they should have done is post a message asking us to stop thay they dont want to read that, Insted they run to you and post mean messages, and You can say " Oh because they are my friend they are right, and this person whom I dont know is wrong ......

So that is what I have to say on this and if you would like to remove me from the mailing list you may do so, I hope you dont, But even if you do it wouldnt make me like Hotlake any less, and I dont have to be in a mailing list to just to prove how much I like Hotlake.

Now, theres a nice backhanded apology. First of all, I never defended a soul. Because I believe as a fair moderator I can't take sides like that. Otherwise it causes cliques and irrational hate that I really don't need in my life. Duh, what do you think 'moderator' means?

So...I was angry, because I never said a thing, and it's been a year of BS like that. I was angry and HURT, I'm very hurt. I've done nothing but run for these people, found them information, worked my tush off because THEY want the site open RIGHT NOW. They've never helped, they just fight and bitch. So this is what I wrote:

This is interesting, I don't remember sticking up for anyone. Nor do I remember jumping on anyone for anything. Nor do I remember anyone running to me. Very very interesting, I don't remember defending anyone either.

As moderator of this list I do not take sides.

I believe I've turned a great big blind eye to the events of the last week hoping the members of this list could figure out how to use the list properly without being inappropriate to each other. Unfortunately it seems this is impossible. Not only do the feel the need to fight every time someone says something, they also feel the need to personally bring me in to it when I have absolutely nothing to do with it. Did I get petty about how people didn't want to see the rules, because then they'd have to mind them? No. Did I get upset when I was personally attacked because of the list rules? No. Did I comment about the sex in Hot Lake topic? No. Did I comment about people needing to fight over others opinions? No. My rules are disregarded by every member of this group, and due to this, the list will be permanently closed by 3 pm today.

I'm tired of childish people who can't seem to read what the letters say and get along.

Now, if I hadn't been angry, I could have handled that better. But screw them, I don't want to sugar coat anything for people who treat me in that way. So, I BCC'ed it to the list (she sent it to me directly) and wrote another letter saying the list was closed, and hit that great big delete button sending my list to the places dead lists go in the sky.

I don't know if I feel better or not..I'm still hurt and upset, I don't deserve that kind of treatment because people read what they want insted of reading what's really there.

On another note, I didn't know when you hit delete, it meant gone for good. (ok, I'm stupid..gimme a break) so I had to go make two more lists, one for serious people, and one for idio..er...not serious people. (Sorry..) Neither one will be opened for a long long time, because right now, I could care less.


It's Christmas time...and that damn Prana woman posted one of those nasty thinky-feely posts that actually touched upon something I've been spending some time late at night during while I should be sleeping mulling over. What did that Prana woman write? You ask, all curious now because I've managed to write almost an entire paragraph without 'porn' or 'tushy' being every other word. Well, Prana wrote about how Christmas isn't about the presents (Liar! Blasphemer! My heart it doth break.) and about the people. Which is absolutely true (Even if it causes heartburn like that spicy chicken sandwich I ate from Carls Jr.), and something I think alot of people have lost track of. Even in the wake of what happened in September, in a whole of society we're still entirely too materialy based. You can't take it with you in the end baby, that's why you got ta leave all it to me. Ahh, but that is not my point of this post.

My point is, I've been thinking alot about the people I've lost track of, or those who lost track of me. (Which in essence is the same damn thing, but stop that! It sounds pretty.) There is alot of people I miss, and now that's it's Christmas time, it provokes an even larger feeling of missage then ever. Everyone I've ever met is important to me, all in different ways, and alot of them are important in ways that effected my life greatly. There are a few in general I really really want to talk to, even if it's just to get some closure other then the closure I have. (Hush, it makes sense to me.) Theres alot that I always wonder why in the world I lost track of that person, that person was so great. Then I feel guilty. Guilt..it's what's for dinner.

There is one guy in preticular that's really bothering me. He wanders in and out of my life and it really makes me feel like I'm eaither really annoying (and I am) or not good enough to be friends with. I know it seems like a great big huge sob fest, but really. We've known each other for almost eight years, and for some reason he's one of the few people I really wish I was more involved with. (See: Friendship, you freaks) The last time we talked he really rushed me away, but the time before that he told me how much he wished we were still friends. I love head trips. Honest. It just kind of hurts and makes me go thppp all at once.

Then there are the other friends that just seem to drift to the wayside because of life. Too busy, just forgot, need to write that damn letter! Day leads into week, week into month, month into years, and all of a sudden you realize it's been five years since you spoke to your best friend from Kindergarden and she dosen't even know where you live now or that you married a guy named Jim Bob and you have six kids and a dog named Kazoo.

So, along with lights, and coco, and good friends this Christmas, I'll be sitting here staring at the spot that'll house the tree as soon as I'm non-lazy enough to go out and buy it, and thinking about all those other lost friends out there I'm going find, rebrefriend, and send a Christmas card to. Because I miss them.


ALRIGHT! Ladies and Gents it's offically Christmastime. My first viewing of How The Grinch Stole Christmas (The cartoon, the REAL ONE) has happened. I watch it about 20 times a year.

I love Christmas.


Want a Politicly Correct Non-Denominational Multi-Holiday Folded Cardboard Portable Greeting Center from me? You do? I knew you did.

So, you want one from me hu? Well, here's what you do. Write me (Or if you're into that posting your addy on the web thing so you get stalked, write me in my comments.) and give me your addy and I'll send you one totally free 100% Politicly Correct Non-Denominational Multi-Holiday Folded Cardboard Portable Greeting Center from Skyte...and then all your Non-Biased Politicly Correct Holiday dreams will be answered.
It's fall. With fall in Oregon comes enough rain to drown all the rats in New York. Normally here in the Valley our rainy season starts about October and usally lasts until May/June depending. Last year was a dry year, this year seems to be catching up. This makes me a happy girl, because I love the rain. That, and it means that maybe - just maybe - people won't have to reuse bath water this summer. (You know, to go along with the covered wagons, butter churning for electricity, and indian scalpings. Which offends me, well not really, but should....)

Of course, the down side to all this rain, is it ends up looking alot darker then it is. Which causes prolonged sleepyness, slight depression and homocidal tendancies. In other people, of course. Not in me, because I stopped offing peop..er..doing those things years ago. Anyway, I'll be going out with my crappy stupid worthless digi cam and grabbing some pictures at random in a bit for your viewing enjoyment...but first...

Tomorrow is World Aid's Day and TPC will be participating in Think and Link. So please please stop by and support us, we'd greatly appriciate it. ::smoochies::


Rhea Rhyolin: You know I've almost had my blog for a year?
KaliPrana: wow, you've been a loser that long?

Yep, that right there my friends says it all. Not only am I a loser, I'm a loser you just can't seem to shake.

I've been lectured quite a few times now for not updating here. I haven't updated because my life is boring to the point of passing out and I have nothing to say.

So there. :) (No really, I'll write a long drawn out interestingly babblish post tomorrow.)


Alright, I'm a slacker. Thanksgiving went..alright. I got sick that evening (like Pran..hey, girl gave me her COOTIES!) and ended up pretty misrible during the end of Braveheart and the begining of Far and Away. For a short man, Tom Cruise has a nice tushy. Not, that I was looking or anything. Er...ok.

James posted a post in which he said what he was thankful for and he named me. Oh lord, close the waterworks. That was so sweet. Well James, I'm thankful for you too! AND Kel! (Couldn't leave you out could I? Nuuh...cause I love ya.)

Got me thinking though, even though it's corny as all get out. People really need to tell people how thankful they are for them, and how important they are to them more often. They just don't do it enough. Neither do I. So here goes...shut yer damn traps and save the retching for when I'm done. In flight puke bags are located in the pocket in the computer ahead of you. Ready?

The Ladies of TPC - Lordie, the last couple weeks with you two have been pain on my tummy. My displaced diaphram wasn't meant for that much laughing. I love you BOTH and you're great friends. Remember...if you need anything...go to someone who car...er, I mean..I'm always here.

TSW People - I love you guys..especally the Warriors. I'm not quitting, just on vacation. I'll send you postcards, so relax. Remember..my ICQ is only a couple clicks and curses at Mirabilis away.

Kim & Kim's Sweetie Mike - Kimmi, I love you hon and I'd be lost without you and your help. You're a sweetie and no matter what, you deserve the best. Mike..you're a sweetie too. ;)

Cass - It's no fun stressing without my right hand stresser partner. You are the best. Ever. Period. Get your phone back and come back soon. Miss you.

Everyone in EN (because I know some of you stalk me..) - Loves all around. One of these days I'll come back around and whoop me some slackers. ;) Until then...B.J. I want a card too...David, good luck moving...Autumn, kick David for me...;) Everyone else just behave...and stay outta my damn cookies.

Jerry (& Mary) - Jer..you're a sweet guy and I love ya. Tell Mary I said hi. ;) Write me more, I'm pathetic.

Michael - You're just perfect. A Saint. A God. You bought me a cow. I love you. lol.

Ben - Miss you Bennie. Hope stuff is going great for ya...and I love you too. ;)

Erin & Kev - The brother and the sissie poo...be good ok? Come visit me soon.

Kins - You don't have a computer, so you can't read this, but I had to add you too. I mean, how could I forget my bestist friend? I love my bestist friend! Although..next Thanksgiving keep yer damn phone on.

Furhead - Even though I hate you, I love you and your guy. You know that right? Always. Damn you.

The other Kevin - I'm very glad you're ok, I'd miss you if you were gone. Now write me, you jerk.

Ant - One of my newest friends to be added to my friends list. Thanks for believing in me during this stupid novel thing...I'll finsh, promise I will. Glad you're doing ok..and don't forget, you're great.

Liz - Vanishing Girl...where've you gone again? Miss you hon, you know I love ya. You've got a job still, just get your self back here.

Jill - Don't talk to you enough, but I appriciate the damn out of you.

Nathan - I don't know what's really up with our friendship right now, Mister Ping Pong. But you know I love you, and I always will. Because I'm the princess and I can do these things.

Goofay - Ren, thanks for everything. Advice, listening to me yell, everything. Thank you.

Jake - Bad. Bad bad Jake. Love my Jakie anyway! lol...lordie...

Everybody else because I'm drugged and can't remember and starting to get all zombied - I love you. Everyone of you. Even if I don't know you chances are I'm stalking you and love you only from afar. If I didn't mention names, it's not because you don't matter. I'm just a freak on meds and I can't remember my hand in front of my face. You're all the best and I'm thankful for every single day I have that includes people like you for my friends and family. I absolutely couldn't ask for anything more. I wouldn't want to.

So, there. Now go the hell away.

I want pie.

Yes, I want pie. Tis the season, you know. ::coughs:: ::sings:: The Season For Piii-iiies. ::coughs again:: With this tummy problem I've been denied all the God given rights to each American to enjoy during the card-created holiday season. I've been slapped on the hand like some naughty child and sent to the corner without my treat. The top most right? The nummy treat? Pie. And like that child in the corner, I am in pout mode extreme. (Oh come on, I had to) Oh pie, how I long for thee.

Yummy, hot, gooey, snotty, fruity, nutty, oozy, sticky PIE. Pie pie pie pie pie. Flakey crust that surrounds nummy filling that sticks to the roof of your mouth and stains your best shirt because you forgo the fork and used your fingers. Finger pie is the best. Don't lick those fingers! I'll lick them for you! Oh that was gross, what's wrong with me? Why can't I have pie? I want pie! PIE!I can't have pie, I can bearly eat normal food. I can't have pie. But...but...

I want pie!

Please? I'll be good, I'll behave, I'll never ask for another thing ever ever again.

I want pie. Just..some pie...But no...

No..no pie.

No pie.


::whimper:: ...pie...


I haven't posted lately because I've been busy setting up the other blog. But now that it's all set up I'm back.

Salivating in your shoes, aren't you?


Ok, since Pran's didn't work, I made one.

Mine worked. Of course, that just proves Pran is stupid.


::hides:: Kidding, I love Pran..now...our new group blog is here. Go readie read, and be scarred for life.
I want the gums of a god too.

Ok, he's hard to see. But he's still the cutest thing in the whole wide world.

Thank you Michael. ::grin:: ::dance::

I love my cow...


It's got a sweet letter and a note and everything and I love him. ::cries::

Ok, I'll stop gushing now. (I love my cow)

Deena just called, the Admin wants us to do an investigation right away, and she wants to go tonight. So we're rushing around trying to find someone to cover for us tonight so we can go. Cross those fingers, I wanna go bad. I love my cow
AWWWW...Guess what?

Michael (The sweetest guy in the world, I tell ya) sent me a cow from build-a-bear workshop! His name is lil' cow and he's dressed in spiffy wiffy wizard clothes and he's got an owl and and he's my feel better cow and I LOVE HIM.

I love Michael too (THANK YOU!)...::sniffle:: Wasn't that just toooo sweet? (I only cried a little bit.) I'll take a picture so you can see.

::giggles and bounces:: I got a present, I got a present....

I feel a zillion billion times better now.

Sooo..in an hour and a half I get to go to the doctor. Yahoo. I've decided they can't have any blood though, I'm all out.


Got a Doc. appointment tomorrow..so we'll see what their newest new thing. Always fun to go visit the stupid doctor. However, on a good note...I ate today, and it didn't hurt.

Praise Jesus...::snicker::

So, Bridge is applying at the school district because they have a bunch of openings. I'm thinking of apping there myself. It seems to be the season for finding new jobs (Everyone I know is doing it! Baa..baa..::runs::) so maybe it's a good idea. I'm sick of this one, plus..if I get a decent job I might actually be able to afford stuff! Woo! Stuff!

So tomorrow I'm going to go out and pick up an app there and give it a shot...anythings better then childcare. :)

Ally's online!

Muhahahahahahaha..what's the best way to start your day? Having your bestist best friend online.
Yup, I'm happy. Even if she's trying to convert me to read romances. ::grin::


Well, Pran has joined the conspiracy against me. Blogger won't invite me to the group blog, so I'll just stay here in my own blog and talk to myself. ::huffs:: I don't need you! ::cries::

Speaking of that witch (::runs::) I need to find the perfect present. She keeps telling me nothing, but HA! I don't think so..the only problem is, what do you buy the root of all Evil for Christmas?


Welp, sinc NCM decided to shut it's doors sometime soon, Pran opened MJM, which is great because I can be a total spazdork and neither will care because their spazdorks too.

Feel the love baby, feel the love.

I found her a tick at Cheaptick's for like 221. 12 days.

Now all I have to do is call her and tell her she's coming.

This should be fun. ::ducks::

Oh, and to the cad (Anono? You wimp! lol) who thought it'd be amusing to add the Mac n' Cheese ref. in the bash book.

That was not funny. ::grin::

Ok, blogger is being a pain and erasing everything I write when I hit the 'post' button. I'm sure it's a sign, but who cares. I'm posting again anyway. If I blow up, just step over the peices on your way out.

I had an interesting weekend. On Saturday Ant (Who's a sweetie...really.) came over and subjected himself to harassment and torture from both my siblings and the growing conspiracy to deny me video rentals by Hollywood Video. (Ignore the fact that my ID is expired, it's all Hollywood! It's them!) Regardless of all that humiliation, I had fun. ;) Hopefully Ant did too, maybe we'll find out if he ever decides to speak to me again. ::wink::

Most of Sunday morning/early afternoon I spent sleeping. On my tummy. Mistake.

I woke up and when I tried to sit up I could feel my tummy slide up into my chest. Yes, it was as painful as it sounds. I spent most of the rest of the evening trying to keep water down and ignoring my pain meds.

I'm not taking any more. None. Nada. You can't make me. I hate that stuff, it does weird things to me. So, I've decided to submit a peition to myself against myself taking any more pain or stupid meds. The board of myselves are currently reviewing it as I type this. I hope I win.

Kins called me last night, from Applebees! (Yes! That's best friend love when your best friend calls you EVEN THOUGH she's got a chicken fajita in front of her. I was amazed.) I guess she had a nasty fight with the Aunt from...::cough:: again. They cornered her (Aunt n' Cousin) in a hallway and screamed at her for a while. Then her grandfather proceeded to blame it all on Kins because she was 'upsetting Becky'. According to Al, Becky was the one doing all the screaming. Hmm...who do I believe....

She really really really needs to get away from those people, so I'm looking up ticket prices to get her out of there for a couple of weeks. Maybe I can (even if I'm broke) swing it so she can come during our birthdays! (She's two days older. I never hear the end of it. The ::grumbles::) We can head down to the casino and gamble away our pathetic life savings and hitchhike home with some freak who leaves us for dead in some ditch along the coast.

Sounds like a plan.

The fact that this still lives scares me speechless. People still sign the guestbook even, can you believe it? Reading over it, I've realized I've learned a few things between then and now:

1: !!!!!!!'s are the most annoying peice of punctuation molestation anyone could ever do. Ever.

2: WYSIWYG's are great for the HTML challenged, but nothing beats doing it by hand. You wimps.

3: I still can't write.

4: Smilies are great. Frogs are better.

So, if you venture to that page. Just, take it all with a huge ton of salt. I've grown up a tad since then...but just a tad.


oooooooh, I got my washing machine! I can do laundry. ::does the happy laundry dance::

The fact that I'm this thrilled about it is sad. One more thing to prove I have no life.

I just got off the phone with Pran ::grin:: She's SUCH a trip, even if she sounded like she was an eight year old on speed...::cough:: (Kidding!) it was really fun to talk to her. I don't think she's boring and I don't hate her. (So there!)

I haven't been too well, but I'm getting better I hope. Went to the hospital three times in 12 hours. Twice to the ER (in which one of the Triage RN's yelled at me for 40 minutes.) and once to the hosp. for an ultrasound. I've got to make an appointment tomorrow (erm, monday?) for the specailist. You know what's amusing? My referal doctor works at the clinic. Irony, watch them kill me just because I left without notice. I bet they would too. All those gossipers in the Med. Records room going, "Look, remember Jamie? Here's her file! Yack yack yack, let's call her and hang up!"

In one day I had taken seven different drugs, so offically that makes me a druggy. I'm so proud. They've got me on crappy Vicadin? (sp??? lol..can't even spell the crap I'm taking.) and I attempted to eat something and it hurt bad enough I took two, within the next ten mintes I'm going to be a zombie, so I should type fast before I type something I'll regret. (Or forget...which is what I do. "Blah blah blah..ahh..what was I saying?" it's embarassing.)

I haven't done a whole lot on my novel, but I'm in a writing mood so I'll probably spit out another thousand odd words by tonight. Another Nanoer is coming to visit tomorrow, and knowing him and his pushy self, he won't let me have my dessert until I've writen my 1000 words for the day. (But mo-mmy) It'll probably be good for me, I just hope I don't end up being rude and get rushed to the ER. `Cause that would be bad.


Yeeeeesterday was Pran's bday. (Everyone go over and tell her 'Happy Belated Bday'. Now. Move.) She's 150 but that's ok, just because you're an old foge dosen't mean you can't kick it up. I mean, she's kewl..she likes the exploding whale!

Ahh..she's going to hurt me. Anyway...I love love love her, she is so funny and nice. She dosen't care if I'm not an angel pretending to be an angel pretending not to know you know I'm not an angel. She puts up with me anyway! (Unlike a few people who've made it their goal to expose me...I am an angel, goddamnit! lol. Yeah! I want that domain...www.imanangeldamnit.com, what do you think?)

I'd sing..but I can't...so I'll spare you that. Anyway, go tell her Happy Bdays, like I told you to. And buy her some of this.

Hmm...was I supposed to be writing on my novel? I apologize then, I'll get back to it.

My tummy hurts.


Well...I had a bad weekend.

I didn't get any writing done at all, and I got the joy of spending all of Saturday night in the ER. Tons of fun, that. I've got bad stomach problems, and around midnight it started to hurt...and by 2:30 I was really sick of it. So two sleepy tylenol (hate that stuff), and two showers later, in my jammies (my JAMMIES! But don't feel too bad for me, other people were there in their jammies too. If you squint good enough, it was almost like a slumber party.) I went to the ER.

To wait for five hours.

To throw up.

To feel much better (which always happens after I throw up), but wait another hour and a half.

::grumble:: At least the doctor was nice...and the floor was heated (They win points for that). But they took blood, those antiseptic smelling greedy little stethescope vampires.

With needles. Screw the tummy pain and the throwing up, the needles were the friggin' worst.

I am such a baby.

But on the up hand...I got to keep the ugly yellow so-you-can't-run-away captive ER bracelet. Perfect for any outfit or night on the town.

It even has my name on it.


What you doing?

Researching Plato's theories of Reincarnation for my novel.

Oh, Oh! I want play Play-dough!


I really need some coverstaion with someone who isn't two.

I guess TSW was completely wiped from it's server and the server won't contact Rick back about it. So we're moving TSW again. However, I talked to Rick last night about shutting down TMW until after the first of the year.

I need a break. I'm running the thing alone (Well, I've got help..but...still) and who know's when Cassie is coming back. Becides, if we closed for Nov. there would be no reason to open in Dec. because most of Dec. TSW is shut down for the holidays. It'll give me time to get other things done without spending that 2+ hours every day on TSW stuff.

And I could get all the pages redone.

Ooooo..new graphic sets.


So anywa, another thing I'm kinda happy about is OPIT got permission to do an investigation in a local school. They want us to keep it kinda low key. Lol..like we'll show up with 50 vans and space suits. More like a few people and some fun toys.

They've been having all sorts of things happen. People being touched and pushed, things moved or missing. They go into the gym and all the balls are all over, or they'll hear people playing in there at night. But the kicker?

They decided to give us permission when during a staff meeting a chair moved across the room by itself.

Hell yeah.


Ooo, Norbert evolved...or, whatever it is that his kind do.

Isn't he cute?

TSW is down, there is an Emerg. meeting tonight for staff...I don't know what's up, so I can't inform anyone out there until later tonight. Then I should know something, until then, please forward all comments, flames, and whines to the suggestion box located in the main lobby. :)

The NaNo novel is going alright...I keep getting distracted ::grin:: but it dosen't matter because it's fun nonetheless (I do that just to make you mad.)

Hot Lake? Monday. I fixed the script problems, only other thing that's been bothering me is setting up the library in a convenent yet spiffy way. I think I got it...for the most part. I also have another 30 rolls of film and 200 minutes of tape to upload, so...I'll be busy.

It's good for me, keeps me outta trouble.


Novel started today. Updates on that, or if you want to read it...you can on the NaNo page. Expect more mindless and useless crap from me this month.

Hot Lake isn't open, ended up with a big problem with a couple of scripts, lost some information. It'll be open soon.

Thats all...thank you, come again.


Got my NaNo page up. Go check it out during Nov. to see how my progress is going on my novel.

Don't even ask me about Hot Lake, I don't wanna talk about it.


Kiminnie99: okie..your lazy and you don't deserve your position

See, Kim knows!

This right here is the perfect object for arguments on free speech and those opposed.

Please don't take that wrong. I mean it in a purely discussion type way.

I find it slightly disturbing myself.

Don't ask me why, but it bothers me when a male cartoon character has my name.

It's just not natural.

Oh look...a post.

I actually posted at NCM today. I have been a terribly naughty girl and haven't even checked there for the last week. I hope they forgive me. (soooob)

NaNo starts in three days! WOO! I really can't wait. This'll be fun. (Especally since I keep meeting more new and wonderful people to add to my 'list of poor sods to bother during November'. They'll be sick of me in no time.) I'm even going to make one of those pages where I can babble to myself about how hard it is, and how my characters drink an awful lot, and how they don't shut up when I'm trying to sleep. Visit. You know you wanna.

Hot Lake is supposed to open on Halloween, but I'm not ready yet. I'm going to try reeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaally. (see, all those extra e's n' a's?) hard to get it open then. But if I don't, you can't draw and quater me. It's already been done once this year. Which reminds me. Fox Family (Hrumph) ran their Hot Lake spot on 'Scariest Places'. Pretty much did what I thought they would. Called it evil, said it should be burnt down and it's ashes covered with salt. Yeah.



It's nap time. It's nap time and I'm the only one here with the kids. This means:

"It's nap time but we won't take a nap because we don't mind Jamie, insted we'll whisper and roll around and pretend snore and use the bathroom ten thousand times in tweleve seconds and tell Jamie we already took a nap."

Which of course, is exactly what three are doing right now. ::grin:: No, you don't have to love kids. Whoever said that was a dork.

I don't love them, really I don't. They seem to like me though (it's because they walk alll over me) they all come running and tackle me when I come in in the morning. It's scary. :)

A very nice guy is hosting HotLake.com for me, he even registered HotLake.net so I could open it if Hotlake.com dosen't get transfered in time. Wasn't that sweet? Yes it was. He's my new bestist friend. (just don't tell my other new bestist friends...) So, this means Hot Lake should open on Halloween as planned, which means you HAVE to stop by. Please? Please please please?



What do you do when....

You live in a triplex, and your neighbor (to your left) happens to be your landladies daughter (whom you have known since you were born) and she's lived there for a long time and taken advantage of the fact that (a year and almost a half now) before you moved in an old lady lived there, and never used the yard.

(Run on and on..lol)

Anyway, your neighbor decides to have a yardsale and then sets it up in YOUR YARD. Never asked you if it was ok, or anything. In fact, asked your OTHER neighbor (which happens to be your grandmother.) if you would mind. Takes up your whole yard, and some of your driveway.

Fine...you're fine with this...they didn't ask, well...you write it off as she dosen't realize you USE your yard, and you aren't a 10000 year old woman who can't get outside. Don't hyperventalate, it's ok..breath! Yeah sure, you pay rent on time (contrary to a certain someone who used your yard)and like your yard nice and tidy, and it is your yard, technicly, and you did be very bothered all summer by that same neighbor planting and removing things from your yard, and tying up her dog in your yard, and letting him poop there, but you never said anything.

Because you're nice that way.

Just one more thing you'll keep your mouth shut about?

Yeah yeah...until...

The yardsale has been there THREE WEEKS. Not picked up, half the time just covered, looks like trash - you're not trash - so what do you do?


It might sound petty, but my entire yard is covered with someone elses CRAP covered with crappy tarps.

Not only that, but it's been raining, so it's wet SOGGY crap.

In my yard.



Ok, I'm posting..finally. (Prana posted, which made me post, you know...monkey see...::grins:: )

I've been busy lately, but I'm always busy. The real reason I haven't been posting is because I've just been overwhelmed. (Oh, and angry. But please don't tell, being angry isn't lady-like, and I'd hate for anyone to think I'm not a lady. ::coughs:: ) But I'm back, and I know you missed me and my blotchy, misguided posts.

I haven't been feeling well, four nights in a row of bad back and tummy pain which lasted until 5 am, which led to four nights in a row standing under a hot shower for hours, in which I've decided five things:

1. They should make shower TV's. They should make them, and use me as the sole test base. They have shower radios, why not TV's? For those poor saps like me who spend alot of time in the shower. They should have water proof cable connections and remote controls. They should be positioned so you can see them while you're leaning on the wall because you don't have a shower bench. (See 2) If they have them, someone buy me one. I'd love you forever.

2. As ugly as those benches people buy and use in their shower are, I see the reasoning. I want one. In blue. With cushions. Armrests, cup holder...

3. To go with the bathtub recliner with optional built in heat and massage (don't go there) they should also make shower books. Full length novels that are printed on some kind of water sealed paper so you can read in the shower (or bath, if you prefer) and not worry about unsightly waterdrops or that terrible accident that happens when you reach for your bottle of tequila and your book falls in the water. (No, I've never had this happen. I don't drink. Underage and it's gross. Now, with some Dr.Pepper..)

4. Mixing a backache, sleepy tylenol (Or tequila...if that's what you do.)and a three hour shower is a bad idea. It promotes falling asleep in the shower. Don't do it.

5. Writings done in your head in the shower at three AM while nursing a back ache are usally irrational and destorted. Don't write these down, someone somewhere will use them against you when you're elected into public office.

It's messed up my sleeping too. I'm now awake every night until about 5, and then I sleep till 9:30 and I really should be at WORK by 9:30. Not..that I'm complaining about the work part, it's the sleep. I want SLEEP! A full nights sleep with no pain.

And don't you give me that go to the doctor crap. Those guys, they have needles.




BLAH BLAH blah blah blah blah!

Blah Blah!


Yes, I'm cheesed. I'll come back later and whine about it when I'm not so apt to flick someone in the nose.


I'm a big sheep. I followed a link from a link on Kelly's blog, and this blog I followed had a link on it to here.

I joined.

I absolutely can NOT wait.

If you write, you should join too...it looks like alot of fun.

Yeah..I've been turned into a frog.

Not that I'm UPSET about it...frogs are great...It's just...I miss my thumbs...someone go save me?


Also, if you're looking for some wholesome Halloween `Net stuff to do...check out TSW's Fall Festival...go over to the games, click on Spiderweb Capture and send everyone you know to be stuck forever in Spiderwebs via yours truly at The Mystical Warriors.

You know you wanna.

"You must check children in.

Leaving children without checking them in with Robin's Nest Childcare staff is consitered abandonment in the State of Oregon and will be reported to Childrens Services as such"

That's a lovely notice I was forced to print this morning because we have a couple of clients who are prone to leave their children without checking them in. (Outside, dropping them off at the curb, ect) Which is VERY illegal and against our rules.

We also have one that has left her child a few times when we aren't even OPEN.

It scares me, the irrisponsibility of people who have children these days.


One of my younger brothers has a birthday coming up on the 4th. He's turning 14. (They get so big so FAST!) He's a really great kid, we've gotten alot closer the last few months. He's got a totally warped sense of humor..that's probably why we get along so well.

He came over last night...and spent 20 minutes helping me try to catch one of my cats that got outside. (I have a huge oak tree in front of my house, home to hundreds of squirrels. I'm a total wench for not letting them go outside and tame their wild nature and hunt them. Nope, they have to pretend hunt them from my livingroom window. I'm such a bitch.)

We finally caught her, and she got a long lecture about not going outside. (Yes, I talk to my cats like their people. Ally thinks it's hysterical. "You actually talk like they understand you!" "Yeah, so?" "But their cats!" "SO? You're from the south and I still talk to YOU like you're coherent don't I?" ::runs:: No offense to southern people...) My other cat (Boots) sat in the window the whole time meowing. She wanted outside too, she didn't think it was fair.

Tough titties...no outside for you kitty!

I'm so funny. ::rolls her eyes::

Anyway..back to my brother. He wants a few things for his birthday that should be reasonably easy to get. (Easier so if I had money...but...hey...whatcha going to do?) He wants the 6th book in that series by Terry Goodkind...which he got inadvertantly hooked on because of me. (Oddly enough, I didn't care for it) He wants a cookbook, a couple movies, and a PS2.

I can do like...4 out of 5.

I'm going to bake him a cake, (No, I'm not going to dig the one I threw away out of the garbage and ice it. What kind of sister do you think I am?) and have some balloons delivered to school for him. (Leaving false messages? Jamming toilets? No no no, the best way to aggrivate school administration is to have crap delivered in the middle of fourth period.)

His dad (See: nutcase) sent him birthday presents. Get this, it's like...so touching. He sent him all his own stuff back to him.

Yep...beats the rocks he gave them for Christmas one year. (Yes, he gave them rocks...driveway gravel. He showered with it too...creeped me out.)

Sent him an old fishing rod of my brothers, a reel of his that dosen't work, an easter egg full of his money, (14 bucks of which he took OUT of the egg, and put in my brothers card. Because my brothers dad borrowed it one time, and thought it would be great to just repay my brother with my brothers own money...yeah.) and sent him an almost-expired fishing license that he bought himself two years ago.

Is that a Fathers love or what?


I'm a terrorist.

Well, according to a radio station mis-quoting the President anyway. Actually, what DID they mean?

"You're either with us, or you're a terrorist."

Ok, break this down for me. With 'us' (Who's us? The president? A group of Americans? Barney?). Who is us? And with them about what? About war? About 'bombing them back to the stone age'? About the possibility of an uprising of evil magnitude involving Jazzercise? Or I'm a terrorist? In a country that is free, and has laws that absolutely positivly entitle me to free speech, and I disagree with YOUR interpretation of YOUR right, I'm automaticly a terrorist? Ok. That's um...irrational.

Now, IF (If people) it's because of the following factors:
A: Us is the groups of people who think we should slaughter them all.

B: Agreeing with them is about slaughtering them all.


C: You disagree with this, you're a terrorist.

That would in fact be A+B=C and I'm a terrorist.

Run country run, because I have access to dirty diapers and baby I know how to fling them.

I'm insulted actually. I'm not a terrorist, and the thought of hurting anyone in that capacity would never even entertain my brain.

So, please just because I disagree with some of your views, Mr. Radio Man, don't imply that I am evil and heartless and have the soul mission to distroy this country.

I don't, damnit. Because if I distroy it, then what'll be left for me to be Princess of?


You know what this reminds me of? Now, here is my comparison.

"You're either with us, or you're a terrorist."

"You're either with me, or you're against me, and if you're against me you're with Satan. Because God is the spirit that lights my soul and gives me direction of life and Jesus is my savior."

Now, do YOU see the complete and irrational thoughts in both those statements? I do.

Ahh, dying to know where the second one came from? If you've been following my mindless dribble, then you might have an idea. Yep, it came from Doctor Teacher Preacher Fisherman Daddy John. Praise Jesus.

I heard that little speil, along with a good five dozen others I can recite, pretty much every single day of my childhood. It got worse, towards the end, and I honestly believe if we would have stayed in the company of said religious fanatic, I wouldn't be typing to you right now. (Ahh...the unjustness of the universe. Sad, are you?)

The statement started out as only the latter part: "God, ect" but the first part was added about the last two years of the whole thing, when DTPFDJ was convinced he was loosing his family to Satan. He wanted to make it perfectly clear to all of us, that there was only ONE side to be on, ONE way to think, ONE person to follow (Him, towards the end there, he thought he was Jesus. Actually the exact speil on that one was "There is only one Jesus, Jesus speaks through me, there for I'm as close as you'll ever get to Jesus" but pretty soon alot of that fell away and it became "There is only one Jesus, and Jesus speaks through me, There for I'm Jesus" ) and if it wasn't HIS way, then you were brimstone bound.

I remember once he came into my room, and started crying (Yes, tears my friends. He cried anywhere from one dozen to ten dozen times a day. Usally over the Bible, or how the dishes weren't washed the way he wanted them.) and whining about how his family wasn't here anymore. I, being 15 and really REALLY tired of all of it, just turned around and told him, to my knowledge we were all right here, and could he please shut the door on his way out?

That's about when he decided Satan had taken me over, and I really needed a heaver hand.

Yeah, ok.

That's about the time he started calling himself by his God given title. The One and Only Doctor Teacher Preacher Fisherman Daddy John. I'll explain where and why here:
Doctor: He is convinced he was placed on this earth to 'Teach and Preach and Heal' and his idea of being healthy was copying Jesus with Gourd enemas. No. So don't even ask me.

Teacher: Like I said, Teach, Preach, Heal...blah blah. He's here `cause he's the only one who can get God's word right, so he has to set us all straight.

Preacher: More along the lines of obsessed. He'd pull his bible out and preach to check stand people while he was getting groceries. Or he'd go into my school and preach to my teachers. He wanted to start a commune, but that's another story.

Fisherman: He is a commertial fisherman, I guess he thinks that brings him closer to being Jesus-like. Nothing wrong with being a fisherman, teacher, preacher, or healer. John's just insane, that's all.

Daddy: While Robin was still with John, we ran a preschool. He wanted all the kids to call him Daddy John. Later it was used in the divorce decree that his children (I'm not, incase you were wondering) were not allowed to call anyone else Dad or any term of endearment confined in that group. And he started refering to himself as "The one and only Daddy John" in letters.

John: Yeah..his name.

I have a 48 page letter, we've dubbed his 'manifesto' that really does show you how completely unbalanced this man is. I've been told countless number of times that I should forward it, add the rest of the correspondance that works up to it, keep it exactly how it is (you'd have to see it to understand. Backwards, up the margins, caps in the middle of words, all his T's look like crosses...) and publish it. It facinates people.

One of these days I'll scan it, and then everyone can see. ::rolls her eyes:: ::grin::


Ok, everything is move `sept for the stuff for Graveyard Boogie. I'll do that tomorrow.

I'm goin' home and hiding in my bed now.

While I'm uploading and moving images, I thought you would enjoy the second dream in our "Jamie's Dreams While She Is Sick And Dying In Bed" series.

Hanging on the edge of your seat were you? Yep. By the way, Prana (who's so lovealee!) interperated (grin) my dream, and you know, I agree with everything she said too. ::grin:: Hey Pran, translate this one...lol..

Ready? Here we go...

I'm not in this dream, generally that's the way it is, I dream about other people not myself. My made up dream actors. These are usally the stranger dreams, and sometimes work out to be good story plots. The poor sods in this dream are a lady who looks to be in her late 20's, nameless. A boy about 10 named Timmy. Who looks like a stereotypical Timmy. Blond hair, blue eyes, freckles. I have a discriminating little brain. Two guys, early 20's, both suprisingly cute. I guess I have some taste in my head somewhere afterall. Who would have guessed?

The problem with this dream, is like most dreams, I can only remember tiny bits and parts of scenes. However, I do remember the overall theme, so I'll try my best to discribe it. Some creature is stalking these dream-people. I don't know why these people were singled out, and I'm not sure where the creature came from. Outerspace, abandon temple, mystic curse. Who knows, it was just there. The creature was faceless, average weight, average height. If it DID have a face, it would have been one of those people that, from the day their born, are destined to be average, unnoticable, easily overlooked. But, it's not, and it doesn't have a face. It's entire body is covered in some grey stuff, it looks like plastic, it looks like someone took a semi-translucent grey bodybag and vaccum sealed it over the creature. It even has flaps of plastic all the way around, like some peice of steak you vaccum-saved would.

It's weird.

It gets weirder.

It inhales it's victims. Sneak up, lean over, breath in. Think Kirby, except this dream land is a little lacking in pretty pastel characters. Just a grey plastic guy who sucks in his dinner like Jello through a straw

He sucks you up....and then he's not faceless anymore. His face looks like yours. It doesn't have expression, it's just...your face.

It's not right.

Like I said, I can only remember a couple parts...:

One: The guys are running from the creature-who-now-looks-like-the-lady and it catches up. They grab ahold of the top of it's plastic-type rim and somehow they tear it open and the lady falls out. "Hey," one says, "If this is the lady, where's the thing?" A shadow appears over them, and they look up, there's the thing but he looks like Timmy now, and it sucks them in.

Two: I don't know why, but this part happened AFTER that last part. Both the guys are standing on a hill overlooking a highway in a desert. Below them is a scene, military men shooting at our grey-lunchon friend and nothing is happening to it. He's not interested in anyone but these four, he spots the guy (one who's name is Jake...I remember now) up at the top of the hill. Jake turns to his friend and says something about their last trick not working, and for the sake of the world, they've got to implement their last plan. Why for the sake of the world? Again I'm not sure. Maybe these were the only ones immune to their seed of evil planted in our food source, maybe they were the only ones who could stop it so they had to be eaten, I don't remember. I don't think I want to remember.

Their last plan? They don't want to do their last plan...but if it's what they have to do....

Their last plan...Ingesting C4 capules that are programed to go off with a hand-held detenator. Blow ourselves up, and it can't eat us. Sounds logical to me. Yeah.

So, the thing gets close, and they swallow these things. The one reaches out and holds the hand of the other, and pushes the button.

That's when I woke up.

It upset me.

You're wondering, "What the CRAP happened to your site?"

Yeah...well...see, my host is a bad, bad host. I have to move all my graphics. So if they're broken...just ignore them...I'll fix them as soon as I can.

But...in the mean time...I agree with him.


I've found you have the most disturbing dreams when you're sick. Stranger then normal, more disconnected and erratic. I'll blame it on the tempature and the sleepy-pills I took. (I hate taking meds, it makes me feel...polluted.) Dingy, frustrating, astounding, kiddie-germ-factory induced dreams, that's the fun I had all weekend while I hid in bed. I hate getting sick.

The first was one that wasn't odd enough that it bothered me, only enough that I raised my mental eyebrows to it a couple of times before I rolled over, clamed the pillow down on my head and went back to sleep.

I'm sleeping. Astounding, isn't it? I wake up to the sound of crying from my living room, dragging my lazy sick self out of bed, I decide to investigate. After all, crying in my living room is odd. The hallway between my bedroom and the living room is short, about two feet long, but since this is a dream, and everyone knows dream hallways are always longer, this is about ten feet long. Panneled in the wood that pannels my Grandmothers house, not mine, strangely enough. Blond wood...sealed with something that makes it look like it was put through a laminator, on the floors and walls. Very very cold on my feet. The end of the hallway is all lit up, from the lamp in my living room. I remember being frustrated beacuse I never leave my living room lamp on, even when I'm sick. It wastes power, that's not kewl, man.

I reach the end of the hall, and step into my living room. Right in front of me is the 100000 pound desk I got from Bridge that took four guys to move, and hurts something wicked when you hit your elbow on it. A boy is sitting there, he looks maybe 11, on my comphy black computer-chair with no computer, making weepy sniffle noises. In his lap is another boy about one, both of them look very pale, and the older boy is dressed in overals with a greek fishermans cap on his head.

I ask him what's wrong, feeling all dizy because I'm sick, and sounding annoyed because damnit, I hate it when strange little boys cry in my living room in the middle of the night. He tells me his little brother is sick, and I have to give him something to make him better. Fine, I say. Stomping over to the cabinet in the kitchen, I grab a bottle of adult liquid tylenol with about one dose left(something I don't even HAVE) and thrust it at him. Give this too him, I grumble, and leave me alone. I'm sick.

Ahh...I'm such a caring soul. I go back to bed, and pull the covers up over my ears and fall asleep. A while later I feel someone shaking me. Rolling over I see it's the older boy again. I ask him what's wrong, and he tells me the tylenol has worn off, and I have to give him more. Sorry...I say...it's all gone, that's all I have.

He starts wailing and throwing a fit, and I roll over and go back to sleep. The room gets VERY cold, and I gradually wake up. The boy is standing there again, but this time he's all translucent and blue. He's holding his little brother and glaring at me. You killed him, he starts wailing, you didn't give him any more medicine and now we're both dead!

Sorry, I manage to say, trying hard not to open my eyes too wide because the light from his deadlyness hurts. I told you I was all out.

He starts screaming and stuff starts flying all around my room. I'm entirely not feeling well enough to deal with this, so I get up and flick my bedroom light on and it stops. I hear a bunch of banging in my living room, so I decide to turn all my lights on, so maybe the guy will leave me alone. I turn the one in the hall on, and the dining room, and the living room. When I turn around from turning the lamp on (which oddly, is on the opposite side of the room from where it really is) I notice my bedroom, dining room and hall lights have gone off. Frowning, I go back to turn the hall light on, when the living room light starts to flicker and dim. I rush back and turn it on, but it starts faiding and goes off. I twist it a few times, but it never comes back on. I try the hall light, and the bedroom light, but they won't come on eaither.

My house is super dark now, and I'm a little on the freaked side becides feeling like crap. I yell into the empty room that I'm not at all amused by this, and stuff in the corners starts to bang. Figuring I won't get any sleep now, I grab my keys, and go to my Grandmas house. Her front door is wide open, and I turn on all her lights, and her TV (Blue's Clues....geesh) and fall asleep on her couch.

I wake up about dawn, and figure since it's light, I might as well go home. I go home, go back to bed, and wake up again about noon. I walk back to my Grandma's house, and her front door is wide open, and the whole front of her house is windows, no curtains, and I can see all the lights blaring and hear Blue's Clues (still on...) I think nothing of it, and walk to my Moms house.

My mom has two fold up beds unfolded in the driveway. She's in one, and her ex husband is in the other. I walk up to them, and she turns around and asks me what's up. I tell her about my weird night, and going to Grandma's to sleep and going back home. No you didn't, she says, you went over there and watched Blue's Clues....Yeah, I say...and went home. No you didn't, she argues, you went over there and watched Blue's Clues, I can see from here. I turn around and I can see my Grandma's house (which you can't) and the whole side is windows, the lights are all going, and Blue's Clues is on TV, and I'm asleep on the couch.

Then I woke up.

Well...woke up long enough to go..."eh?" and roll back over and have the next one...which was the one that really disturbed me. (TBC...sorry, I feel like creeping crud and I keep coughing up major organs and you'll just have to wait till tomorrow. :) )


I think people are a little disapointed when they IM me out of the blue. The people who get my SN off my blog, that is. Not, that I can blame them. I don't know what people expect from me, eaither I'm too weird, or I'm not weird enough, or...gasp...I'm boring. (DUH, don't you read anything in my journal? I tell you it EVERYWHERE.)
If I'm normal (which is really weird, but reserved...yes, I can be reserved.) people think I'm not weird enough...if I'm hyper or in 'a mood' when someone IMs me (which happens every other 8.25 minutes) I'm too weird and they find some reason to leave really quick.

Regardless the reasoning, usally they never IM me again.

It breaks my heart. :( I'm not THAT bad! I've got my momments, sometimes I'm even kind of entertaning.

Really I am.

So, if you choose to IM me because you got my SN off here (and I absolutely don't mind if you do...that's why it's here obviously, I like to chat.) Please don't:
1: Be offended because I'm not that talkative. I tend to be very quiet when new people IM me and I'm trying to figure out who you are without looking like a total rude idiot.

2: Be irked because I'm a dork. I am a dork, I like being a dork, nothing wrong with it. Don't IM me if you don't like dorks. `Cause it probably means you just don't have it in you to keep up with us. ;)

3: Say "Hi" and then drop the conversation two seconds later. It confuses me.

4: IM me just to yell at me. I'll cry. Then I'll have my cousin Guido with the one eye hunt you down and take you for a little swim with the fishies and a pair of pretty new concrete boots.

4: Never IM me again. It confuses me and generally makes me wonder what's wrong with me. Did my breath smell? Was I not good enough? I'm never good enough! I'll never be good enough! I'm worthless!

See, you don't want to be the one that caused all that turmoil, do you?

I didn't think so. So, IM away my little snookemses.

Oh...on another stupid note...that wasn't a total senseless babble tangent (See: Blog title) I found a new host, thanks to James.

Thank you James, have I ever mentioned how wonderfully great you are? ::grin::

Wonderfully great. ::nods::

I've decided since my current one seems to not want my money pretty badly, I'm just going to switch to someone better.

(Say it with me...subdomainsubdomainsubdomain...the things that make me happy.)

This of course means, that Hot Lake's opening MIGHT be set back just a little tiny bit, but we'll have to see about that, it could, in fact, open on time. Depending on how much offline work I do on it, and how fast I am once everythings changed, getting everything back up. We all know I'm slow, this'll be like...a test.

Yeah...that's it...to see how bad I fail. Will I make baby Jesus weep? We'll see.

Aaaah..Baby Jesus...that brings back memories. Not fond ones...almost...surreal.

Want another story? You know you do...

(Please realize that everything I write is with a small grain of humor, I don't mean everything I say. So don't take it literal. I don't think anyone is evil, terrible, wicked or demon-spawn. I just say it because it sounds good.)

Once upon a time, in a small land far-far away known as the great territory of Oregon, lived a lovely young woman named Robin. (applause) Now Robin had two small children, who were decent children, in the grand scheme of things, and were really quite pleasant to be around. Other then the normal children things, that is.

One day, a good friend of Robins introduced her to a man named John. Now on the outside John seemed normal. Good job, nice house, nice guy. On the inside however, he was an oozing black pit of evil poison religion spit. (Dum dum dum..)

Now, this isn't the story of John, and his lunatic fantasies of starting a Jim Jones like cult, or Robin and her flee from doom, no, this story is on John's mother.

Soon after John and Robin were married, John's mother began her wicked plan to brainwash Robin's children into mindless God-fearing drones, who would do her every command. At the start, she didn't like the child named Jamie. (Who would have guessed?) she said Jamie was sneaky, and a liar. (Oh..and I am.) She told Jamie all the time how she was failing because she didn't do dishes right, or sew like the neighboor girls, because she didn't keep her dresser drawers in perfect order, and how she made Baby Jesus cry, and what was she going to do about that?

Jamie decided this lady was a raving bag of white hair-topped wind, and she could care less if Baby Jesus cried. What kind of parent was God anyway, she wondered, if God just let Jesus throw fits about things like shirt folding and floor mopping. Didn't Jesus have bigger fish to break? Didn't Jesus have better things to do, then weep over the toilet paper roll being put on under insted of over?

What was this Jesus' problem anyway?

The evil Grandmother however, failed to see the point of these questions. Jamie, being smart, and having to only learn once or twice from the smack of a belt, kept her little mouth shut, and put the damn paper on the way the evil Grandmother wanted it.

And bided her time.

(No, I never pushed her in a freakin' oven...what kind of person do you think I AM?)

I've been absent the last couple of days, and even more absent on AIM (Which, amusingly, makes people angry with me.), but I'm here now, so you can stop crying. (Yep..I know it's not just dirt in your eye.)

I feel like telling a story. No, not a good one...sheesh, I told you...I save those for my other journal.

I'm at work (of course) and today we had a four year old come in about a half hour early, (This is the same four year old that is spoken about in an earlier post...you know, the one about child eating disorders? Well..that's what it is Refresh yourself.) and when his mother came in, I was sitting there trying to get a nail I had just broken off my poor finger, because it was still stuck by a scrap of skin. (Guys just don't understand. Broken nails hurt, especally if you break them down past the skin...which is what I did, then they bleed, which was what it was doing when I was oh-so not attentive enough.)

She gave me that look, you know "hands on the hips, why don't you dance and sing because oh JOY of joys my son has arrived to grace your childcare with his light and laughter and ooshy gooshie snoogems, kiss him and hug him and love him so much" look. I know this, not because I'm looking at her, because it's drilling little holes into the top of my poor little head.

Now, it's not that I don't love them, it's just at this point and time in my story, I had a broken nail that was bleeding all over the place, and it hurt, so I didn't greet her with great enthusiasam. (Pity...snicker) So, I'm sitting there preforming major surgery on my finger, (Thumb, left hand, for those that care.) and she's pretty much giving me the all mighty 'don't forget you're just my babysitter' look.

Now, this is the conversation that followed her entry into our humble childcare. I've, for your viewing pleasure, translated from 'client speak' or 'Jamie-eese' into plain english. You're welcome.

"Where's Robin?" (Means: I don't want to leave my child with HER, she didn't even kiss my feet when I walked in. Jamie isn't good enough.)

Tug...tug...OW..."I don't know, in the other room?" (Means: Do I look like the babysitters babysitter?)

"Well...have they had lunch yet?" (Means: I slept until 11:45 which gave me exactly enough time to get dressed and come here. My child hasn't eaten, because I don't know what an apple is, and becides...you always feed them.)


"Well...um..we had a rabid dog." (Means: I can't admit I didn't feed my child, so let me change the subject to something unsuspected so Jamie, who we all know is easily confused, is sidetracked.)

Of course, this point in the play, I had to quit messing with my poor abused nail and pay some sort of attention. (This paints me in such a bad light, I swear I'm not this unprofessional all the time. Just..my nail...) She relayed the story, which...in essense boils down to calling animal control, and went outside to put her kid on the table for lunch. All the while, her child is sniffling and crying because he knows right after lunch is nap time, and naps hurt.

Anyway, shortly after she leaves, Robin asked me to look at the kid, because it looked like someone smacked him in the side of the head. I go outside and he's got this lovely horseshoe type mark, bright red, right by his right eye. (Jakie says it looks like someone smacked him with the claw side of a hammer, and it does.)

So now, since the state demands we track and report these things, or else WE get fines and jail time if it comes out someone at home was abusing the child. (I understand keeping track and reporting, however, if I'm unaware of things going on at home, or if I've just recieved a child and had them one day, I don't appriciate being fined or jailed because they were abused and I didn't know about it.)

Now, I don't want to say anyone was hitting him, or hurt him. (cough) When I asked him about it, he said moms boyfriend did it. (Note: Just so you know, I never take the word of a child. Why? Because children, especally those under seven, or wanting something when someone said no, twist, lie and forget details, and basicly are a DA's worst nightmare. I also can't stand parents who take the word of their three year old as gospel, and never ask an adult about it. That's stupid. Sorry, I know you parents want to think what you're kids saying is true...but kids don't get the whole story.) Now, I won't say he DID do it, but I also won't say it's not a posibility. Especally since he's done it to mommy before, and the kid watched. (Sick, no? She went back to him too...basicly that teaches the child it's ok to hit, because boyfriend hits mommy when she didn't do what he wanted, so it MUST be ok to hit when I don't get what I want. And he does too, all the time. )

I don't know, I just see more disfunction and stupidity (seriously, otherwise I wouldn't use that word) in parents with children today then I've ever seen. Out of probably 1,000 children we've seen come and go, only five of those children came from two-parent families, and only two of those five, lived with both biological parents.

I've seen only two single mothers, who were responsible to their children. I've never seen a single father who was responsible at all.

I've seen children so afraid of their step parents that they would jar themselves in doorframes and hide under furnature to keep from having to go home with them. I've seen children beat babydolls on walls and with other toys telling them they're bad, and how they should just die. I've seen children play 'I'm daddy, you're mommy, you hit me'. I've seen children with parents that are such big hypocondriacts that their kids, by age three, had been on every known child antibiotic, even though the child was never sick.

I've seen parents leave their children 18 hours every day, for days on end, and then bitch because they can't bring them over on their days off. I've seen parents care more about the party their going to, then the fact that it's 30 outside and we brought them with no pants on. I've seen them bring them late, get them late, tell them that they love one better then them, I've seen them act angry when they had to pick up all their kids, insted of just one or two because one of the other daddies didn't come get them and they didn't want them, you name it...I've seen it. Every day, every family, every child.

But these parents get assistance, they get out of their childcare bill, they don't ever get investigated by the state, they raise children who are more messed up by two, then any 30 year old out there.

But in the end, it's always the providers fault.

And people wonder why America is so fucked up.


Ok...I'm on a mission.

New domain host...suggestions?

Something not-expensive ok, but good.

Please...thank you.


To the (insert really angry word here) who tried to hack into one of my sites today.

Keep your sticky little fingers to yourself, damnit.


I went shopping today. Not for spic n' span, or socks, or even a new spatula. I went shopping for storefronts.

Oooooo....square feet shopping. There's that math crap again. Someone should be able to just take a string, walk down the street and point at me and yell "This is xnumbero square feet" and then, by jove, I'd have it. All this number on paper stuff does nothing but confuse my lone brain cell.

Why, you ask was I shopping for square footage (Love that word...footage footage footage.), because I want a store. I've always wanted a store, but my inability to cement myself to one project has gotten in the way of that long tended dream. (That...and I'm broke, that puts a damper on everything.)

But, today...since I decided I'm not doing Childcare for much longer (I'm never having children. Never. Little nose wipin' cheese smellin' yellin' short people in socks.) and as fun as the idea of finding another building to open a bigger preschool is...the idea of a store just makes me ooze spittle (such an attractive picture) down the front of my shirt. It's a shoppers dream, to own the store in which all the items you love to molest in other stores live.

You know...shopping...it's like heaven with shoes. See, how could you go wrong with a store?

Anyway, I want a mélange store. Little bit o' this and that, all fun, all cute, all mine...er...well, mine to sell, that is.

So, I'm going to see if I can do up a buisness plan, and find some sweet sap to give me a loan. Maybe this will work out this time...none of my other ideas ever do. Why is that? Hrms...

Rhea Rhyolin: Am I weird?
Ganonon: Yes.
Rhea Rhyolin: Is it a bad thing?
Ganonon: No.
Rhea Rhyolin: So...you love me then?
Ganonon: Of course.
Rhea Rhyolin: ::grin:: Good.

See, that's all a girl needs...a little reassurance from her friends once in a while. Ben loves me...do you love me?


My 'People To Read' list is getting very very long. I keep finding more and more blogs that I like. In fact, there's a good seven or eight links from my desktop to blogs I don't even have up here yet.

I'm runnin' out of room, what ever shall I do?

And yes, I read all of `em. Every single flippin' one. `Cause I can.

Ok, here's a little tip. If you dump your cookies, your cute little rainbow pal reverts back to age 1.

I knew that, why did I dump my darn cookies? Urgh.

(He's back to what he was before now...)

You know, there are alot of things I don't say here because I know someplace out there, there will be someone who just can't keep certain things they should, to themselves. Which frustrates me, because it's my blog, (not that I write the real stuff in here...mostly it's just...babble. My well written, soul wrenching, decent stuff is in my journal, so no one can snicker at it.) and because I should be allowed to say what I want without reprocussions from other people who just 'happen by' and probably will never come back again. (Personally, I don't know why ANYONE would come here...I'm boring. I swear.)

I don't write in here for anyone, just like I don't write in my normal journal, or even write fiction for anyone. I just...babble to babble. Adding the fact that I don't want to offend anyone (and lord knows there's always one in any group...) it makes it really hard for me. That's why I've always stayed away from alot of things going on in my life, because sometimes parties involved know where this thing is. ::grins:: (Not that I say anything bad about anyone in my other journal. But...you know.)

I think, when it comes to the point that you're stopping yourself from touching certain subjects, or censoring yourself on what you do talk about, it's time to get a journal no one sees. :)

The reason for that little speil....how do you ask people nicely to stop sending you gobs of 9-11 stuff, with out them thinking you're just a big fat glacial doo-doo head with no patriotic spirit? I realize it's only been almost a week, but my mail server is having a hard time with the huge amounts of (I'll be honest here...most of the time it's total blathering bullroar) stuff I'm getting in my box about it.

It dosen't mean I don't think it was a terrible thing to happen...I just can't have my box crashing when I have things of other topics that can be quite urgent coming through. Especally the things that will help me finish work that'll help me get paid that'll help me pay my over-due gonnashutitoffonyounowma'am power bill. (Overdue because I don't get paid, not because I don't pay. So...um there!)

Any suggestions?

Just to clarify something, it's HotLake.com not HotLakes.com. At last check, the latter was a porn site.

I don't do porn.

"You know, you're kind of funny."

Yeah, it surprises me too sometimes.


I got invited to a group blog! ::giggle:: I feel so special. Sooooo, now you have to go over there and check it out. They seem like a reeeeeeaaaaaaaalllllly nice group. ::nods:: This should be alot of fun. :)

Wil posted this, it's actually the first time I've seen it, and it's worth the read.


I went to Bottled Voices and she had a rainbow pal. Like the sheep I am, I found it adorable and had to grab one.

His name is Norbert, if you can guess why, you get a prize.


Someone left a comment about my 'bombing' post (Thanks...I love comments, just please keep them nice, alright? I would never attack you...I just ask the same in return. And no, this person didn't attack me...it was for whoever it is out there who wants to...I see you! I love ya anyway. ::grin:: ) asking me if I had a better solution.

Honesty is the best. No, I don't.

I'm a Childcare provider honey, I know what it's like to deal with people who are so set in their ways anything short of Jesus' second coming wouldn't make them change their minds. I know what it's like to work with people who'll take everything you can give, and stab you in the back just as fast. No, I'm not super woman, I don't have all the answers, and I can't make people see things they don't want to. (If I could, I'd stop my feet, do a dance, smack them all with my fairy wand and call it even. But I'm not a fae, and lord knows I can't dance...so there goes that idea.) I know they think the way think is correct, (And I'm not one to say 'you're wrong, I'm right' I'm just saying violence of any kind shouldn't happen...) and I can't change their minds. As much as I hate to say it, our collective society isn't ready to move past violence as the answer, so hence, violence seems to be the only way they can deal with this right now.

Dosen't mean I agree.

I'm not stupid, or naive (Check it out! I can spell it!) in the least, I'm also very open minded and non-judgemental. (Well...I try, I try VERY HARD. I hate the idea of hurting anyone because of disrespect to the things they deserve. I deseve to not be hurt because of my views, so they do too. I'm by no means a saint...::snicker::...heaven probably is scared to death of the day I'll come around, but I still try.) I know they have reasons for what they're doing, and they believe those reasons to be right, just as we do. I know you can't sit down over tea and be good natured and come to a stable ground. Ain't gonna happen. No sewing bees for this lot.

I don't control their goverment, or their history, or their religion. Their way of life is much, much older then ours, so I have no right to demand they change the way they are. I don't have the right to demand ANYONE change the way they are.

It dosen't mean I agree.

I can only hope.

Oh...I also know they probably never (or very rarely) have childcare over there, it was used as an example of something deeper. :) Perhaps childcare provider wasn't the right word, how about nanny. I'm sure the weller-to-do families have them, don't they? What's the persian word for nanny anyway?


On a totally different note! I FINALLY got the number for Shirley Peters (one of the authors of 'The Town Under One Roof') I'm going to contact her Monday on the possibility of resale in Hot Lake's store. This is something I've been asked about since I had the Geocities site open, so hopefully she says yes. I'll give her half the sales, of course...it would only be right.

So, cross those fingers, I really want to offer this. I'm giving one away, actually, at the opening on Halloween. So if you REALLY want a copy, and can't find one for sale anywhere else, stop buy and fill out a form. You never know, you might win...and I'm giving away some other neat stuff too...`cause I'm kewl like that. (Well, I like to think so...anyway.)

Cass has abandoned me for Las Vegas, so that means I'm in charge of The Warriors all by myself. Kim is OL because of her wedding...::giggle:: so lets see how bad I mess up this time. I am NOT a score girl, I'm the behind the scenes do everything else girl. The scores scare and confuse me...can you say...math?

Gives me shivers just thinking about it.


Good reads...I agree with ALOT of what is said here. Americans are blind to the violence we cause on other countries daily, thinking it's our right, no, our duity, to carry out these acts upon them.

It frustrates me that the general population refuses to believe that we have no more right to make another countries people feel unsafe in their own lands, then they do ours.

I fixed Reblogger. That means you can yell at me now, if you want.

I don't mind.

Erm..wow..Ev linked to my post...how flattered am I?

Really flattered...way to make a girl smile. :)

Oh and look...this'll make all you web designers out there happy...even big shot TV (ok...local big shot TV) stations webdesigners have to work out bugs.

Sometimes, the universe is so kind.

I was asked what "bombing" is. It was bound to happen, working with two to eight year olds all day long every day...the news is always on, I suppose there was no way the kids would turn blind eyes. It always seems they like to watch it more when somethings getting blown up, or someones getting hurt. I remember once, a Nightmare on Elm Street movie was on, and I was flipping, and landed on it. I didn't leave it there to leave it there, I left it there because something distracted me before I could change it.

I remember the kids only paid attention to it the minute a parent walked in the door. Whoops, busted.

Anthony, who's four, was watching the TV so intently I thought his eyes were going to drop out of his head. Turned to me right after someone mentioned bombing, and said in his little voice 'what's bombing?'

Em..ah..er..splutter...splutter. "Bombing is when they drop explosives from airplanes" needent get into the people who stash them in buildings, not at four. No, let's avoid that one...wait till your six son, then ask your mom.

"Well...do we bomb people?"



How the hell am I supposed to answer something I don't even know? I don't know why we bomb, to me a life is a life, it's something no one should have the right to take away. I don't think we should bomb over there, and kill people who were just as innocent as the people in America were. I don't agree with eye for eye, nuke `em, it's the only way they'll learn, because at the bottom of it all, at the very end of the world, we're all the same. We're all people.

I can't say it's because we're protecting ourselves...because...because...I don't want anyone taking Anthony the way they took lives back east....that's true, but I'm sure in some daycare over on that side of the world, there's a provider who dosen't want her Anthony taken eaither, and she thinks they're just protecting themselves too.

Clay (from Bleeding Monkey) just told me one of the bloggers there, Tomi died in the WTC thing.

I only knew of her, but now I wish I would have taken the minute to say hi.

She'll be missed, even by those who didn't know her.

Just in case...

Sing along with me boys and girls...Duck and cooooover...

Ok, I'm sorry..my humor is how I deal with things...becides, you got to admit...it's stupid and funny all at once.

I don't care if you think I'm terrible...I'm actually a sweet, kind, nice person...I just have a sick sense of humor...and damnit, it's my Blog! So there!


Here's one...the coverage from the eyes of a canadian...

I've seen alot of posts from people who are angry with the very idea of anyone bringing up 'God'. How we should look back to God, put our trust in God, ect.

In their eyes, 'God' (Not the altertnate lifestyles? That was a JOKE! by the way.) is to blame for what happened.

Yeah...mmmmhuuu...God gets off on those new-fangled Omnipitant Controled Airoplanes

Me - "Hey God, what's with crashing those planes into that building? Don't you have better things to do?"

God - "No offence Ma'am...just weeding out the population."

::snickers:: I should be shot.