It's Christmas time...and that damn Prana woman posted one of those nasty thinky-feely posts that actually touched upon something I've been spending some time late at night during while I should be sleeping mulling over. What did that Prana woman write? You ask, all curious now because I've managed to write almost an entire paragraph without 'porn' or 'tushy' being every other word. Well, Prana wrote about how Christmas isn't about the presents (Liar! Blasphemer! My heart it doth break.) and about the people. Which is absolutely true (Even if it causes heartburn like that spicy chicken sandwich I ate from Carls Jr.), and something I think alot of people have lost track of. Even in the wake of what happened in September, in a whole of society we're still entirely too materialy based. You can't take it with you in the end baby, that's why you got ta leave all it to me. Ahh, but that is not my point of this post.

My point is, I've been thinking alot about the people I've lost track of, or those who lost track of me. (Which in essence is the same damn thing, but stop that! It sounds pretty.) There is alot of people I miss, and now that's it's Christmas time, it provokes an even larger feeling of missage then ever. Everyone I've ever met is important to me, all in different ways, and alot of them are important in ways that effected my life greatly. There are a few in general I really really want to talk to, even if it's just to get some closure other then the closure I have. (Hush, it makes sense to me.) Theres alot that I always wonder why in the world I lost track of that person, that person was so great. Then I feel guilty. Guilt..it's what's for dinner.

There is one guy in preticular that's really bothering me. He wanders in and out of my life and it really makes me feel like I'm eaither really annoying (and I am) or not good enough to be friends with. I know it seems like a great big huge sob fest, but really. We've known each other for almost eight years, and for some reason he's one of the few people I really wish I was more involved with. (See: Friendship, you freaks) The last time we talked he really rushed me away, but the time before that he told me how much he wished we were still friends. I love head trips. Honest. It just kind of hurts and makes me go thppp all at once.

Then there are the other friends that just seem to drift to the wayside because of life. Too busy, just forgot, need to write that damn letter! Day leads into week, week into month, month into years, and all of a sudden you realize it's been five years since you spoke to your best friend from Kindergarden and she dosen't even know where you live now or that you married a guy named Jim Bob and you have six kids and a dog named Kazoo.

So, along with lights, and coco, and good friends this Christmas, I'll be sitting here staring at the spot that'll house the tree as soon as I'm non-lazy enough to go out and buy it, and thinking about all those other lost friends out there I'm going find, rebrefriend, and send a Christmas card to. Because I miss them.