You would think after two decades of doing Christmas shopping I would learn not to attept it when there is only four days left till Christmas, but unfortunatly I'm a dork, and obviously I don't learn from prior holiday fiascos. It's at these times I realize how painful being stupid can be. :)

Last night at about 8:30 (right after I got off work) I decided to head out to Wal-Mart and spend money I don't have (See: Jailtime) on stuff for Christmas because my siblings weren't getting anything because my mom is just as bad off as I am. (We're getting our power shut off on the same day. How's that for mother-daughter activites?) In fact, they don't have a tree! But I got some money today so I'm going to go get them one, because they need one. Yeah..anyway...

Pulling into the Wal-Mart parking lot was a sign from above that it wasn't one of my better ideas. There's a point in which a crowded parking lot turns into the scene for a bloody disaster movie in which the ground shakes and opens up and swallows all the screaming plastic-happy little Christmas shoppers and cars pile upon cars until they touch the sky and you can't even begin to see the front of the store. The parking lot was a mear few minutes from reaching this point. I was wondering if I could get in and get out before I ended up falling down a bottomless hole through the center of the earth, knowing my luck, probably not.

The holiday season was obviously all around me, from the first minute out of the car I was filled with the immense joy of Christmas with the loving, caring, happy-filled snippets of conversation I overheard. If you just would have cleaned the back of the car out, it would have fit! You're so fucking dumb. Oh yes, Christmas has arrived.

The actual shopping was uneventful. As usual everything was picked over (again, you think I'd learn?) and overpriced. (29 bucks for a G.I. Joe? I think not.) We got some things, and headed for the check-out counter. The lines were long, and the smell of Wal-Mart's in house McDonalds was pushing me to the point of yuking on the poor man in front of me shoes, I decided to go outside. :)

Stale coffee, car exsaust, cold Oregon air and unruly children. Christmas! Got to love it. The poor sky so lit up by streetlights of down town I couldn't decide if it was plum or dusty rose. Snippets of conversation where every third was in Spanish (no offense to hispanic people....). Almost-car accidents, snippets of English conversation...

Why do you jump into conversations that aren't any of your...

I still have what you got me...

I know what the perfect gift...

Hold on to the cart, hold on to the cart...

You almost got hit by a car, that's so funny...


Yeah. Right. So after about 20 minutes of watching people, freezing my tootsies off and wondering why the hell I did this again this year, my partner in sufferage came out of the store and we left. We weren't finished, so we went to Fred Myers. Again like last year, Fred Myers was empty and cheaper. You think I'd learn.