Nope, this isn't Jamie, it's just an extremely lifelike clone that was created from DNA extracted (quite painfully, let me tell you) with a bamboo skewer from under her left pinkie fingernail.


I come with a message:


No idea when I'll be back (Although I do appriciate the worried phone calls, I love you all too). From the vantage point in which I reside at this momment, it looks to be another two if not three weeks before I'll be back online. Reason being: I thought I had a faulty modem, so I replaced it. I still can't get online, I called the phone company (and to my amusement, was flirted with by the nice techie guy, because he was THAT hard up for entertainment.) and was told...


"You are being canceled because we haven't billed you for two years for internet service because we're morons."


I added that last part. Yay, free `net service! The thrill of finding this out didn't solve my net-less problem, so they tell me they'll have someone at Qwest call me about setting back up my internet service. They never did. So in the mean time, here I am with a brand new modem and no internet service. But scratch the brand new modem, because HP, in it's evil plot to have consumers buy more computers, has the sound card on the SAME BOARD as the old modem. Which I replaced, which means:


Computer - old modem = no modem or sound card and heap big naughty explitive fun


So, I run out and buy a new sound card (I needed one anyway, I justify to myself and my pocketbook) and now have a new sound card AND a new modem to install (I took the new one out to see if, in fact, the sound card was on it. And it was.).


So, incase your lost:


Computer + new modem = no sound card
So: old modem + computer - new modem = left over parts that are driving me batty
So: Lazy Jamie + Computer - old modem and sound card + new modem + new sound card = sticking the screwdriver someone's eye


But in the end this all still = no internet access.


I signed up for cable through Comcast, since it's 10 bucks more a month. I have no idea when they'll install it, but they're telling me not until sometime around the 20th.


Christ Jesus, don't you love me anymore?


Anyway...I'll be back as soon as I get cable and come back from having this screwdriver removed from my face.


Love you.