Well, I can now stand without vomiting (or passing out for that matter) and I feel a tiny bit better, but not enough to really want to tackle going back to my daily life. I'm glad for the whole lack of heart-warming nausea, nothings more dignified then puking your guts out in the middle of a crowded doctors office. Make new friends! Impress your co-workers! Vomit in a public place! Weehaw.

As long as nothing is against my back or side, and I don't move, I feel pretty good. I guess that's something.

Not only did I have the lovely chance to be disgustingly sick the last few days, I now also have clients angry with me because I was supposed to have a website open Friday, but insted I was spending the day with blood suckers disguised as nurses. It upset me enough that I cried. Broke my damn record.

Oh! And there was a childrens expo this weekend that I didn't know about, #%@^@. Would have been perfect advertisment for LKP. My week is going so well.

I've spent the last couple days in the company of blood sucking harpooners, semi-creepy 'medical' facilites and a ton of pain. They're talking surgery now. I don't want surgery. I don't want anybody cutting me open. Regardless of how evil my organs may be and how often I curse them with language rivaled by any sailor, I prefer them inside my body where they belong.

Ok, I'm sick of this layout. No more ice. No more snow. No more rain. (Although I don't mean that, I love the rain. I love rain at night and 70 degree days, but no higher then 70's or it turns into one big Oregon Sauna) I'm taking suggestions for the next one. Perhaps something bright and colorful and fresh for spring. Or maybe something with eye-bursting neons, which I sadly must admit I've been horribly drawn to lately, it's like reliving 1986.

Maybe I'll snap some shots of my (now blooming!) apple tree and use that in a layout. Or the pretty pink tree in the front yard, whatever it is called. I don't suppose it's really called 'that pretty pink tree in that nice quiet girl across the streets front yard'. But it could be.

I love the smell of fresh cut grass in the afternoon. What about a grass layout? Hmm...that gives me an idea...

Listening to a local radio station this morning, I was slightly saddened to hear them gloating ('I thought this was wonderful' and 'this was so great') that Martin Sheen's car was reportedly vandilized because of his personal political view.

Sad. Just, really sad. People with any respect for themselves and other people don't behave in such childish manners. Oh god, will certain members of this country please grow up? You're giving the rest of us with morals and self dignity a bad name.

IMM POSTNG B/C IMM ON DA PHONA WIT FRED AND WE FOUND THIS AOL KIDEI SP3AK TRANSLA2R AND IT IS SO K3WL!111!1!1 U CAN TYPE WUT U WANT AND IT TRANSLAETS IT IN2 MORON1!11 OMG LOL WHO CUD ASK FOR ANYTHNG MORE

FRED?!?!??? OMG WTF LEAEVS IN A F3W HOURS FOR NY SO FOR SOME REASON HE F3LT LIEK CALNG MA!!!11!1! OMG Y?!!!!??? WTF LOL I DONT KNOW11!!11 OMG LOL


Rhea Rhyolin: http://ssshotaru.homestead.com/files/aolertranslator.html
Rhea Rhyolin: HI FRED
HOW R U?!??! OMG LOL
SaetanSadiablo: HI JMEI HOW R U DONG?!!!!!!! WTF )
Rhea Rhyolin: HI FRED
HOW R U?!???!!? LOL IMM FIEN THX!1!11!! OMG WTF LOL
SaetanSadiablo: LOK I CAN SPEAK LIEK A DUMBAS11!!!11
Rhea Rhyolin: U R A DUMBAS11111 IM SO PROUD!!!1!!1 LOL
SaetanSadiablo: HAH3H3 IMM SO PROUD OF U1!1!1 LOL YAR SUCH A BUT11111 WTF
SaetanSadiablo: A/S/L??!?!!? WTF LOL
SaetanSadiablo: MAN THIS HURTS MAH HAAD!!!11!! LOL THINKNG I MEAN!11!1111 OMG
Rhea Rhyolin: IM 90 A MAEL AND RILLY HAREY!!1111 OMG LOL
SaetanSadiablo: U 2?!?!?!?? OMG WTF COL1!!111! OMG LOL IMM 8 AND RILLY SMOTH!!1!1!1 OMG
Rhea Rhyolin: THIS IS HOW WA SHUD TOK AL TEH TIEM B/C R3AL CULTURAD PEOPLE R AEG TOK LIEK THIS11!1!! OMG LOL
SaetanSadiablo: YAAH!!1!1 OMG WTF W3 SHUD WE CUD B CULTURAL!!11!1!1 OMG WA CUD TOK LIEK TEH MASES!1!!1!!! OMG CONVART THEM 2 OUR CULT1!!!!! WTF LOL
Rhea Rhyolin: OUR SEXY AOL KIDEI SPAAK CULT!!!11 OMG WTF HEL YES BROTH3R!11!1! LOL
SaetanSadiablo: YAAH SIST3R11!!!!! W3 CUD OWN THIS WORLD!111!1! WTF
SaetanSadiablo: YAAH SIST3R11!!!!! W3 CUD OWN THIS WORLD!111!1! WTF
SaetanSadiablo: WEL START BY CONVERTNG GEORG3 BUSH!1!1! HIS BRANE IS LITL3 ENOUGH!!1!1! OMG WTF
SaetanSadiablo: "HI RICH!1!! HOW R U?!!!!? OMG WIL U JOIN OUR CULT??!!!!?!? WTF QUEN JMEI WANTS UR SACRIFICIAL BLO--WANTS U AS OUR ASISTANT1!11 OMG LOL"
Rhea Rhyolin: lol omg
SaetanSadiablo: rofl wtf 696969
Rhea Rhyolin: ur so fn funy
Rhea Rhyolin: lol
SaetanSadiablo: d00d! i m.
SaetanSadiablo: Saetan SaDiablo: HI RICH!1!! HOW R U?!!!!? OMG WIL U JOIN OUR CULT??!!!!?!? WTF QUEN JMEI WANTS UR SACRIFICIAL BLO--WANTS U AS OUR ASISTANT1!11 OMG LOL
Rich221976: no thanks
Rhea Rhyolin: RICH DOS3NT LOV3 US HA SHUD B SLAUGHT3RED FOR TRAASON
SaetanSadiablo: HES NO FUN1!11! OMG WTF LOL PARHAPS WA SHUD TRY STRANG3RS????? WTF
Rhea Rhyolin: lol
SaetanSadiablo: YES!1111 LOL SLAUGHTAR DA TERORIST111!1!1! OMG WTF LOL TAEK OVER HIS COUNTRY!1!1 OMG WTF MURRD3R HIM!!11 OMG
Rhea Rhyolin: 2 BAD CAUS3 H3S SO FIEN WA HAEV 2 WAES HIM
SaetanSadiablo: lol
SaetanSadiablo: HAY1!!1 OMG WTF IMM NOT 2 SUR3 WUT IMM DONG IMM BORED OUT OF MIEN1111111 OMG WTF MAH FLIGHT LEAEVS IN A COUPL3 HOURS AND IMM ALREADY FELNG DA N3RVOUSN3S AND AXCIETMENT!!1!111 OMG HEHEH!!!11!!! I CANT WATE!!!!1! IL B IN NU YORK IN LAS THAN 12 HOURS11!1111! OMG ) YAY!1!1111 OMG WTF *SIGH*

WEL IMM OF 2 BD!!!11!1 OMG LOL GODNIGHT111!! OMG
SaetanSadiablo: h1, JAMI3. hOW'5 y4 dO1n9 +Od4Y?


Ok, that's enough of that. My head is killing me. Have fun Fred! Miss you ;)

For those of you coming to this page either by searching for Hot Lake or for Old Avon Bottles (or something of that ilk)


1: Hotlake.com should be rehosted and back online by the end of the week.

2: If you want to know more about the bottles or inquire about purchasing them, E-mail me. I'm really sick of having my garage smell like a brothel.

There is something extremely wrong with burning a peanutbutter scented candle in your bathroom.

Yay! I've got cable! And I put the hub Pran and Sean sent me to good use and hooked up the HP to the cable too, sept it's being a total wench and not working right. I wish it would so I could get my files off it before I reformat it. If I can't, then I have to kiss five years worth of work files away. Five years worth of programs I've written and games I've made. It'd just be a shame. (And no, I can't burn it to a CD, or remove it and hook it up to this computer, or anything else. I've tried everything. Sending it to myself is my last resort.) Total times I've taken apart three computers in the last four days? 62. Yes, 62. I'm going to have nighmares of tiny screws for the rest of my life.

It's frustrating. However, this fast connection and my new computer do sort of make up for it. Almost.

....Comcast installs cable tomorrow, so I should be back by then. Have I suffered without net? Nah, I live perfectly fine without it. I've got so much work to do offline I shouldn't be online anyway. My online work did suffer though, and it's got me frustrated. What did I do to amuse myself without the Net to do work on? I built myself a kickass wicked computer.


I am so, so bad.

Nope, this isn't Jamie, it's just an extremely lifelike clone that was created from DNA extracted (quite painfully, let me tell you) with a bamboo skewer from under her left pinkie fingernail.


I come with a message:


No idea when I'll be back (Although I do appriciate the worried phone calls, I love you all too). From the vantage point in which I reside at this momment, it looks to be another two if not three weeks before I'll be back online. Reason being: I thought I had a faulty modem, so I replaced it. I still can't get online, I called the phone company (and to my amusement, was flirted with by the nice techie guy, because he was THAT hard up for entertainment.) and was told...


"You are being canceled because we haven't billed you for two years for internet service because we're morons."


I added that last part. Yay, free `net service! The thrill of finding this out didn't solve my net-less problem, so they tell me they'll have someone at Qwest call me about setting back up my internet service. They never did. So in the mean time, here I am with a brand new modem and no internet service. But scratch the brand new modem, because HP, in it's evil plot to have consumers buy more computers, has the sound card on the SAME BOARD as the old modem. Which I replaced, which means:


Computer - old modem = no modem or sound card and heap big naughty explitive fun


So, I run out and buy a new sound card (I needed one anyway, I justify to myself and my pocketbook) and now have a new sound card AND a new modem to install (I took the new one out to see if, in fact, the sound card was on it. And it was.).


So, incase your lost:


Computer + new modem = no sound card
So: old modem + computer - new modem = left over parts that are driving me batty
So: Lazy Jamie + Computer - old modem and sound card + new modem + new sound card = sticking the screwdriver someone's eye


But in the end this all still = no internet access.


I signed up for cable through Comcast, since it's 10 bucks more a month. I have no idea when they'll install it, but they're telling me not until sometime around the 20th.


Christ Jesus, don't you love me anymore?


Anyway...I'll be back as soon as I get cable and come back from having this screwdriver removed from my face.


Love you.

Just a note: I won't be online for a while, and I don't know when I'll be back. So take care!


Happy Late Birthday to Fred, due to circumstances I wasn't able to call you or wish you a happy birthday. I hope you had a good one.



Fred & Pran, I got the boxes and the book. Thank you.

Basic Web Design with Jamie King


Intro Class - Friday, April 18th 6:00 - 7:30 P.M

Cost: $160.00



This eighteen week course will focus on teaching you the beginnings of web design and help you achieve a finished project at the end of the classes without frying your brain. Starting with basic HTML mastery for the first eight weeks, you will learn basic code structure, concepts, tools and theories that will help you grasp and retain knowledge so you can finally build that website that you know you've always wanted. The second eight weeks will give you basic graphic design skills so you can create a custom layout for whatever project it is you're working on.



The majority of this course is contained in easy to use online lessons, which will allow you the ease of working from (or banging on) your own computer from home. A computer with internet capabilities is highly suggested.



For more information or register, please contact Jamie at 503-463-4020 or E-mail Me@kiddlets.com


You know you want to! :)

In honor of CS coming out and the fact that I don't have to buy it because someone got it for me, I am now the keeper of Ashers' Lighter.





I'd also like to add that I'm the first. Therefor the REAL keeper of his lighter. Woo baby, woo. How is that for spiffy?


I'm such a geek.


Pran? If you're still online, get on AIM!

The riviting and never ending soap that is my odd daily life continues with an all new episode. This week, we find CCD pulling a typical bureaucratic move on LKP when they find to their horror, that the Shahish iron fist world they illusion themselves with does not apply to my business. They can't touch us. They can't rule us. They can't harrass us. They don't even know how to catagorize us. The only thing they can do to us is slap us upside the head with those little clipboards they hide behind, and boy, does that freak them out.


With a slightly befuddled and perturbed tone, they leave a message on my business line: "You might have to be licensed with us. Call us, and we'll talk about your options."


How about no?


Now, the professional side of me will call them, and will explain to them, in my very nice professional Jamie voice "there are no guidelines set forth by any goverment or private entity in the state of Oregon or in the United States that can govern, oversee, (or bully for that matter) my company. And although I find this a shame, because there are no benchmarks that can help form a good quality program, it also means that I don't have to be licensed by you."


In my head, however, it will be a totally different story, in my best screeching immature six year old voice, I'll be sticking out my tongue while pulling on my ears.

"I know the OSR back and forth, I can recite it backwards standing on my head in six feet of quicksand with rabid sloths eating my toes, and guess what? You can touch me, nanny nanny boo boo! What's that? Nope, I'm not liiiiistening. La la la la la la la. I don't have to talk to you and you can't come here an-ny-more! That just chaps your ass, dosen't it? Isn't Karama a bitch? Aw, don't cry. You'll find someone else to terrorize I'm sure. You have a nice day, now!"

I've had alot of questions why I haven't posted. There are alot of reasons. Personal things going on (most personal stuff does not go here, insted it goes in my journal at home. Personal stuff dosen't go here because small-brained people get upset when I talk about situations that are going on. Because some people can't respect my views as mine (and feel I have to be 'nice' all the time and not have any negitive views) and like to try and withold me of my opinion claiming rude things and take offense or cause problems. So it's easier to keep my private thoughts private. Plus, my life is boring.), and because I haven't had anything to say, and like I've said in the past, I write for me, not for people who view this blog. I appriciate that people come here and read this, but I don't, and never have, written for or to draw an audience.


So if there is nothing here, it means I've got nothing to say. People can be angry at me for that, but that's too bad, they can go make their own blog, and post to it if they want content.


Please don't bug me about this anymore, when I post is when I post and asking me won't make it any sooner.

Happy Birthday to Sean :)

I'm going to write them an E-mail, and ask them to call it "Just Crack".


Crammed full 3 oz plastic containers protect this delicate stuff from falling all over the dirty ground. It's sweet, it's tangy, it's crunchy and it's got the weirdest texture ever. It's sort of like when you ate that freeze dried astronaut ice cream during your sixth grade solar system unit.


It's "Just Fruit" and I'm in love.


Just one of the products made by "Just Tomatos, Ect", Just Fruit Munchies are a mix of freeze dried apples, rasins, blueberries, sour cherries, mango, pineapples and blueberries and they're a better buzz then that Meth addiction you shook last year.


Today, after being too broke to feed my habbit, I bought a container of it and saddingly I've almost consumed the whole thing. Not sad because I'm a bloody pig and should be forced to eat only 1974 Weight Watcher food and sweat on a tredmill, but sad because it's almost all gone.


It's good. Go try it yourself, you'll become a mindless addict too. But before you try it, and become so overwhelmed with greed that you'd rather prick out my eyeballs with a gleefully sharpened carrot from the produce department then share, buy me some more too.

Thanks to Kelly, for reaffirming my opinion that the American goverment is run by bå morons.


That was for you Kel, it's pronounced 'baw' and it means foolish. ;)

I have an unhealthy obsession with "Brown".


Although it may sound this way, this isn't a plea for a free one way ticket to a snazzy drug rehab program where I can hob with the stars. Nor do I like to dress up in frocks that resemble tree bark from around the world.


I'm talkin' about the UPS man, man.


Not the men themselves (although the disgusting seriously girly side of me enjoys that added bonus of cute guys in pants. Not in short shorts, there is something very wrong about a guy in short shorts.). It's not even the big roaring trucks (Machines just don't do it for me, unless they can render three seperate 3D models in under five minutes and run six other programs in the background.), it's the stuff.


Oh lord, my kingdom for a box.


The Gods are tempting me. Once again they're using me for their odd amusment. Over the past month I have seen not one, not two, but six unattended UPS (or Fed Ex, I don't discriminate) trucks. Left all alone on a corner or in a parking lot, side of the truck gaping open where the door should be, calling me to come inside and rip it off.


I'm sort of like a oversexed guy who's been locked in a dark closet with nothing but his hand for ten years and gets rescued by like minded nymphos fresh from the local gymnasium. Boxes. They butter my muffin. Crisp my cracker. Chew my gumball. Yeah, you get the point.


It's so very upsetting too, when the nasty cricket in my head kicks in and sings me out of causing a high speed police chase while littering the freeway with packing material.

As James so nicely pointed out, blogspot seems to have two ads at the top of it now. Hopefully that's an error somewhere, and not something new and fixed.