I'm having the hardest time with this durn blog. Every time I try to upload it to my own site, my FTP server tells me I've put in the wrong password. I'm dumb, not stupid...I know my own password, and I didn't type it wrong. So, thpppp to you Envy.


I don't understand people. When they find the need to hide themselves, part or even all of their lives from the people in it, it should be a great big red flag telling them that there is something they need to pay attention to and change in their lives. I mean, if you have to lie all the time about who you are, then you must lead a really sad and lonely life.


What's worse, is in the end, the only person you're ultimatly going to hurt is yourself. Because sooner or later someone will catch on, and it'll all be over. Or, on the other end of the scale, you'll be so ernest on pushing everyone away...that you won't have anyone.


It's hard to lie, I try very very hard not to do it. And it's HARD. I make it a point to be honest, sometimes I'm so honest I can be brutal. (Lucky for me, I'm naturaly appeasing and try not to hurt anyone, so I'm blessed with the ability to soft coat almost anything.) But how could someone who's doing all this fabrication keep it straight? And what happens if you start believing what you're saying? Isn't that just making it worse? What about the people who care about you? How are they going to feel?


I'm not perfect, by any means. In fact, I'm currently letting a couple people in my life lie to me about things (They don't know I'm aware of it) and I know I shouldn't. Because it's bad for them, and it's bad for me. I don't like being used, but a tiny part of me is hoping they'll tell me the truth. I want the truth...I deserve it, and so do they.