Does anyone by any chance want a kitten or, say, maybe, nine of them? Both of my cats (who are now well known in the neighborhood for their lack of morals and loose ways with the male cats. Oh, how they shame me) decided to not only get all preggers but pop within days of each other and I now have nine kittens.

This is what you get for moving and letting your used to be indoor cats become outdoor cats. Of course, they get pregnant before I can get them fixed, because it's some kind of conspiracy.

I don't want nine kittens. Two are more then enough for me, so I've decided to give them all to you. They are all very cute (three black and white, four orange, two calico) and will be ready to move into your home in just a few short weeks. I'll be there to drop them off as soon as I can steal them away without their mothers seeing. No, you don't get to choose. It's either this or I learn to make kitty soup, and you wouldn't want that, now would you?

I didn't think so.

Posts until IBOM's 1000th post: 61

Les Schwab is awesome. Not just because of the fact that they changed and fixed the tire that got popped by a nail for nothing, or because they give away Jeeps every year, but because of all those yummy guys in uniform and the free popcorn.

Nothing is better on a hot day then a overly air conditioned tire place with cute guys working and free popcorn.

I went to the Library with Lane and Mikey and helped Mikey turn in his Summer Reading Program raffle tickets, since he can't do it himself. He had 180 of them, one for every hour he's been read to this summer. It'll be a shame if he doesn't win that collection of horror books teddy bear. Especially after all that hard work he did being read to.

A haiku, yo:

I drive better then you,
I don't eat or pick my nose,
While merging a lane.

Posts until IBOM's 1000th post: 62

There is a new blog in town, check it out: All About Mikey.

It's all about that cute loveable little nine-month-old that thinks my computer is a toy as told by his Mommy. Go read it, and leave a comment, because he really wants them. (Oh, and let me know if you like the layout. I think it was pretty good for 15 minutes work.)

Posts until IBOM's 1000th post: 63

Proof that we are inanely juvenile and something is horribly wrong with Fred and I:


Rhea Rhyolin: It's not normal! Praise Jesus!
Saetan SaDiablo: You're scerry.
Rhea Rhyolin: You're jealous
Saetan SaDiablo: Very.
Saetan SaDiablo: I want to be able to scary my friends.
Rhea Rhyolin: I can teach you in just Sixteen easy lessons of only seven payments of $19.95 each! But wait! There is more!
Saetan SaDiablo: More?
Rhea Rhyolin: If you act now, we'll throw in an entire set of the world famous Ninsu knives, these knives will almost cut through something! And! As an added bonus, if you promise to tell a friend, we'll slash one payment by 1/8th! Isn't that amazing folks?
Saetan SaDiablo: Almost through something? Wow! I'll tell a friend immediately just to cut my price by 1/8th! That brings it to what?
Rhea Rhyolin: Twenty-four payments of only $64.59!
Saetan SaDiablo: Just twenty-four payments!
Rhea Rhyolin: Just twenty-four payments! Now tell me folks, how can you beat that?
Saetan SaDiablo: You can't! C'mon folks, you should call right now! 1-800-USucks2
Rhea Rhyolin: Act now, supplies are limited
Saetan SaDiablo: Yes, we only have six trillion!
Rhea Rhyolin: What were we selling again?
Saetan SaDiablo: ....Guido.
Rhea Rhyolin: Hell no! Guido's mine!
Rhea Rhyolin: And he's a better lovah then you ever were, mister three-second-man
Saetan SaDiablo: Four! It was four!

Or, even later:

Saetan SaDiablo: Do YOU eat sandwiches with forks and knives?
Rhea Rhyolin: No
Rhea Rhyolin: I done eat thems like a real womans, with my feets
Saetan SaDiablo: Yummy.
Saetan SaDiablo: Feet eating.

See? Wrong. Very, very wrong. I should be working, really. What's worse, is most of our conversations are like this. You'd think we were pre-teens or something.

And it was three. I know, I timed it.

Posts until IBOM's 1000th post: 64

As an unmarried and ohsoinnocent young woman, I know that I always fretted into the wee hours of the morning with horror over my eventual wedding night. All, of course while wearing my neck-to-ankle cotton night gown and thick woolen socks. I am relieved to finally have someone to tell me what I should do.

How embarrassed would I have been? I would have done it all wrong! I would have been nude! I would have not been quiet in the dark and let my husband incur some kind of injury, which I then would have secretly gloated over while he's having his Little Man taped up in the Emergency Room. Oh, the shame! The humiliation! How can I ever face my pure wedded friends again? I should go to confession right now for even thinking of it. I'm not Catholic though, so I'm guessing it doesn't count.

Someone should rewrite this and bring it up to date for this century, where it would be something like:

"Instruction and Advice for the Young Bride on the Conduct and Procedure of Witholding the Intimate and Personal Relationships of the Marriage State for the Greater Benifit and Growth of Her Wardrobe, Personal Material Holdings, and Ability to Direct the Activities of Her Spouse as God Intended. Glory!"

I'd do it, but since I'm not trapped in the rusty shackles of marriage, I am not an expert on that particular subject.

A Pure and Godly Haiku:

You sinners unclothed!
You must repent now for
God don't wanna see that.

Posts until IBOM's 1000th post: 65 - Praise Jesus!

Last Christmas a card came from a relative that I really don't talk to often, one who kind of floats in and out of my life in the patented way that side of my family is famous for. You know the kinds, everyone has them. The ones that aren't bad people, just don't keep in contact with anyone.

My Father's entire family is that way.

It's not a big deal to me, they've been this way since I was born, so it's not like I expect anything else from them besides that. It's really made me grateful that I didn't inherit that flake gene.

As I was cleaning out my in and out boxes on my office desk today I found the card on the bottom of a pile of stuff that should have been filed away in the file cabinets oh, say, nine months ago, and I reread over it and decided that maybe I'll shoot off a letter their way and see what happens.

Worst that can happen is the same thing that always happens: they ignore me until Christmas rolls around six years from now, and then send me another card.

A haiku:


Penutty Butter.
You are good with one thing only,
You are good with just one thing, ThanksClay
Tasty dill pickles.


Posts until IBOM's 1000th post: 66

I've decided it's time to open Brighterskyte Designs. I've put it off for over a year now and I know that I am a good desiger. Maybe not as good as some people, but I don't royally suck. I have so many layouts I want to put up as linkware too. Plus, I have so many ideas for ones and why do them if they'll just sit on my hard drive? I'm not that selfish! Honest, I'm not.

So I'm going to do a new layout for IBOM and then work on setting up BD.com because graphics off of my HD and on a server gives me more room for graphic programs and fonts. See, logic at it's best.

Posts until IBOM's 1000th post: 67

While dropping Lane off at Volleyball camp at college this morning I noticed two very cute, very black (very well kept) poodles running wild around campus. Both had collars and tags, and one was dragging around half of a lead that looked like it was snapped off.

There is some kind of wicked bad karma that comes from ignoring escaped dogvics on the side of the road, you know. It's like, a quarter of a century in the hell that's non-stop polka music and blood sausage.

So, we pulled over and clicked the emergency blinkers on and attempted to get them to stand still for one minute to see who they belonged to, but they were obviously way too thrilled at their little taste of freedom. The naughty pups wouldn't stay in one spot. If I was a dog, and I was going to break my lead and run away, I'd go someplace fun, like the backdoor of a Wendy's and beg for free chicken sandwiches and a Mister Frosty.

Since we couldn't get close enough to them to see who they belong to because obviously anyone approaching them is coming to play with them, not to take them home. And didn't they want us to run away so they can chase us when we look coyly back over our cute little curly haired rumps at them?

So, abandoning that idea, we told Campus Security (who said they'd been chasing them all morning but lost track of them, which was nuts, because they were not more then ten yards from the front door of the building Security is in. Maybe they were frustrated because they couldn't catch them either?) and CS said they'd contact Animal Control and have them take the doggies home.

I hope that they did, I couldn't stick around to find out, since I had to go buy dog food for my own very naughty doggy at home. I hate the idea of dogs just running wild on the side of a busy road. They're much, much cuter alive then squashed.

Project Blog went alright. We raised about $60.00 which isn't fantastic but it doesn't suck gravy either. I ended up getting a few hours sleep and then sleeping pretty hard last night. I would have slept better with a sailor, but what can a girl do, right?

I have completely renewed my deep and vile loathing of my computer chair. I would burn it, but that would leave me sitting on the floor and probably wouldn't be any more comfortable then this worthless hunk of faux-leather covered torture device is. I'm going to get a new one as soon as I can afford it. You know your chair is bad when sitting in it for longer then 20 minutes makes your butt fall asleep.

Oy, I almost forgot: a haiku -


Wallgreens has soda.
Their own brand of rootbeer stuff,
Tastes like stewed sweat socks.


Posts until IBOM's 1000th post: 68

I will be at Digital Spam for the next 24 bloody hours doing Project Blog.

Come by and visit, you hear?

Before I get going on that (we start in under five minutes) a haiku!

Fred on a tangent,
I am too sleepy for this,
off to a good start.

Posts until IBOM's 1000th post: 69

It's going to be hot again today. Yesterday was 98, which was gross. Today is supposed to be 103-105, which is going to be miserable. If you find a gooey puddle on the floor of my office, that was me. Just mop me up and throw me out.

Thanks to the heat, and the lack of AC (It's just not economical enough to justify having it when in reality, only a handful of days out of the year are this hot here) and of course, all the electronics and the windows that don't open, it means my office is sure to reach about 120/130 in here today. I should put my digital thingies in here and see how hot it gets, and then take a picture. About two in the afternoon it starts getting bad enough that you really can't even sit in here anymore. By four it's completely unbearable.

This, of course, is a fantastic excuse to not get any work done past noon.

I'm not sure how I'm going to do Project Blog, because it's supposed to be 100 tomorrow and nearly that on Sunday, and even with fans, it is still very uncomfortable (and unattractive - because sweat is not pretty) to sit in here. I need to finish getting the layouts done. We will be at Digital Spam starting at 6 AM tomorrow. If you can sponsor us please do, so far we've only made $30.00. I'd love to make about $100 if possible. One hundred bucks equals one month of activities and snacks for the class.

I've got all the rest of the anime downloading, so I have absolutely no bandwidth. I feel like I'm back in the days of the Dinosaurs and using dial-up. We haven't figured out our schedule for the thing, but as soon as I know it I'll post it, because I know you're waiting with baited breath.

I'm off to try and get some work done before I have to abandon poor Guido to the heat.

Oooo....wait, someone just invited me to go swimming. Screw work, I'm going to go do that.

The haiku OTD:

Chlorine in my eyes,
Water up my nose and ears,
Ah! Swimming! How fun.

Posts until IBOM's 1000th post: 70

The camp out went really well, for the kids anyway. They enjoyed it so much that they've asked me to hold a second one at the end of summer. So, I'll probably do that, but I think at a camp ground. One with high cliffs that are prone to 'accidents'. I'll probably schedule it for the weekend before Labor Day weekend, that way it's close enough to the end of summer to be the end of summer, but not so close that it makes the kids unable to function on the first day of school. (Most kids here go back the day after Labor Day, I don't know where they go back other places.) See, deep down I am thoughtful.
 
The camp out for me however just turned me into a great big blob of mosquito dinner. I didn't get to sleep until 4 A.M. and got up at 6 and my sleeping bag was directly over a lump which I swear moved periodically throughout the two hours of sleep I did get. This was all a given though, I didn't expect anything less. Besides that, we had a lot of fun. I wish I had brought my fireworks though, of course, that means you risk spending the rest of the camp out watching the native fauna in the local E.R.
 
Something interesting? One of the campers had a dream, and over breakfast we had a conversation about it:
 

Rach: I had a dream last night; Sara was the queen of the world, Elaine was her poodle, Jamie was the jailer and Sarah was a concession stand worker.
 
Sarah: Great - Hey! You want some fries with that?
 
Me: Why was I the jailer? Am I that mean?
 
Buddy: Yes. You're soo mean.
 
Sarah:  I can see it now "You're free! You're free! Oh, Mister Convict, it's ok, I'll let you go. I know deep down in you're heart your a good person, even if you are an axe murder."
 
Me: Yeah, that's probably how it would go.

 
See? I can't even scare a bunch of kids. I'm pretty pathetic. It's probably why they don't take me seriously when I tell them to do something. I tell them I'm going to sell them to gypsies and they just laugh at me. It hurts a little.
 
Now I'm back plugging away at trying to appear busy when I'm really not doing anything of worth at all. I hope to get so far ahead of my projected work that by the time classes start again (Sept. 27th) I'm beyond where I need to be so I can cut myself some slack in the work department and not worry about getting desperately behind. It's a good plan in theory, it's just pulling it off that's the bother. It means I have to work doubly (doubly!) hard and I am just so lazy that I'm not even sure that it's possible. 
 
We've made $30.00 so far for the YCC, if you can sponsor us doing Project Blog, please go to their website and do so. I'll love you forever and ever and ever!
 
In other news, I just received a letter inviting me to join Phi Theta Kappa, an honor society. I'm going to fill out the application and turn it in at the end of the week. I figure, what can it hurt? It'll look good, it sounds good, and as you all know, it's required that you join at least one thing that's named in Greek during college, even if you make it up.
 
A haiku for you:
 
I am so itchy.
They are all out to get me,
Vampiric buggies.

 
Posts until IBOM's 1000th post: 71
 

For those of you who don't know, Digital Spam will be participating in Project-Blog, a 24 hour charity event. We will be raising money for the H.O.M.E Center YCC, a children's program.
 
We will be blogging for 24 hours straight and to keep us entertained we will be watching the first five episodes of 16 anime - one every 30 minutes, and posting nonsense reviews and opinions on them. We're doing this because we're big geeks, and we can't help it.
 
I will also be changing the layout for each anime series, and giving away the layouts at the end of the event.
 
If you'd like to join our group - there is still time, just E-mail me with your interest and I'll get back to you with the information on how to join us.
 
If you'd like to sponsor us - please go to Project-Blog, create an account and go to 'sponsor a blogger' and fill out the information there. Please please plleeeease, even if all your can sponsor is five bucks, it would totally help us out.
 
It's been a busy week and it's going to be an even busier weekend. I won't be around again for a few days, so no annoying, worthless posts from me until probably Monday. Have a good weekend, yeah? I'm off to run the YCC Camp-Out. Joy.
 
Before I go, hiaku!
 

Oh camping! How fun!
I get to burn mashmallows,
drop hot dogs in dirt.

 
Posts until IBOM's 1000th post: 72

I've filled out all the scary I-need-money papers for college for this year, it's amazing how nerve wracking this stuff can be. I feel like I'm signing my soul away on some of it - especially the loans. I don't like owing people money, and I really don't like owing people money when I don't have money to pay them, so volunteering slashing my X on a line that willingly makes me owe people money, when I know right now I don't have it to pay back, gives me hives. Big ones, with green oozing puss. That talk.

Unfortunately, this is the only way I'll get to go, so that's the way it has to be. Luckily, I do quality for Federal Aid, so the loans are subsidized a bit. I also got a grant because of my GPA, can't beat that. People should give me even more money for being so fabulous, I wouldn't say no.

I have to go drop them off at the college sometime today. Probably have to pry the papers from myself to give them to the people in the office. I just have to keep reminding myself that I really do want to finish this degree and go to Med School, and the only way to get there is to rack up a huge personal debt that. A debt that I'll never be able to pay completely off because by the time I'm finally done with the zillion years of schooling I have left, it'll be over a million dollars, the soul of my first-born, and a kidney.

See, it's worth it.

A haiku, yo:

Ally is very mad.
She's funny when she is angry,
but also way scary. Posts until IBOM's 1000th post: 73

Saetan SaDiablo: If you impregnate a chick, can you still be an honor student?
Rhea Rhyolin: I'm pretty sure sex with poultry is a big no-no.

I had no reason to post that, other then it amused me. My eyes are extremely sore tonight, it aches when I blink. I feel like I got popped in a back alley and I've got a couple shiners. Maybe I strained them too much, with you know, all the work I was pretending to do today. Maybe I'll go lay down on my bed and maybe even get to sleep early. I'm starting to think sleep doesn't exsist, and I just imagined it.

Posts until IBOM's 1000th post: 74

Fred and I, and perhaps Karanani if she decides to, are going to be signing up today or tomorrow for Project Blog, the stand in charity event for this years Blogathon.

I think we will be blogging for donations to the H.O.M.E Center YCC, which is seriously in need of funds to continue the work we do throughout the fall. I know, because I work for them.

For those of you who don't know, the YCC is a non-profit children's activity class that accepts all ages. We do crafts, field trips, have guest speakers, and whatnot. I'm working towards expanding this program to meet two or three more times during the week, and hopefully the Center will expand enough that we get a facility (or part of one) that's just ours.

Our group was going to do something with movies, but involves nearly $50 dollars worth of movie rentals, and it's just not something this broke little self-employed chicky can afford. So, instead, we think we'll be basement-dwelling Otakus (which is hard, because I have not a basement) and watch 24 hours of Anime.

You can not get any geeker then that, my friends.

We will be watching the first five episodes of 11 shows and posting our worthless thoughts, comments and opinions on them. It's going to be done on Digital Spam (not the domain though, because unfortunately I haven't been able to steal it back from whoever bought it out from under me) and will be just really laid back and fun.

If you'd like to join us (and you're very welcome), just Email me or leave a comment (leave a comment anyway, this no comments even though I get a good bunch of hits a day is really starting to get me down, people. I'm even more boring then, and you don't want that.) and I'll send you an invite to join DS, what anime we'll be watching and where to get it, and more info like that there.

If you don't want to join us, but would like to sponsor us (and please do, as we have no sponsors because we're joining less then two weeks before it starts) drop me a note or watch for a sponsor button coming soon. We don't have a goal, but we'd appreciate anything you can give.

Posts until IBOM's 1000th post: 74

My 1000th post is coming up, and it's really made me start to think. The thinking (dangerous as it is) has led to the planning of the following pity party.

Of course, you're all invited boys and girls, so grab your favorite bottle of hard liquor and meet me down at the docks, we're going to get us some sailors. `Cause nothing says 'Good Times' like booze and sea men!

The thing is, is I've been here for four years now. I've been relatively consistent for those four years too. Alright, so maybe I don't post 20 times a day, or I'm not totally eloquent. Maybe I don't have earth shattering insights or I don't make you spew your soda out on your screen with mirth, but geesh. You'd think after four years I'd have more comments!

I have one here or there, and sure my posts really aren't the commentable type, but you'd think I'd have more. How do some of these people get dozens? I don't even have that many readers!

I just want comments! I just want to be loved! Cherished! Stalked even! I'm not asking for much, just adore me and will me your riches so that even after you die I can buy myself that cute skirt I need thanks to your love.

It's not that much to ask is it?

Excuse me now why I go cry on the shoulder of my good friend Ruffles because he loves me with all his salty little heart.

A haiku:

I stood on the beach.
It was only a moment,
but it was still good.

Posts until IBOM's 1000th post: 75

In light of the terrorist attacks that may or may not happen sometime this summer, or next, or the summer a dozen years from now I bring you a great way to prepare yourself for the future.

That's right, it's time for Duck and Cover, with your friend (and mine!) Bert the Turtle.

Is it horrible that this thing makes me giggle every time I watch it?

Posts until IBOM's 1000th post: 76

I am a woman on a mission. Not just any mission, but a super secret special mission. Yes, that's right, super, secret AND special. I'll share it with you though, because you're important, and I know you would never tell anyone because I know that you know that I'll know. I also know that you want to live a long, happy and healthy life free of things like baseball-thwaked knees and spiffy concrete tennis shoes.

So what's the mission you ask? It's simple: I'm on a mission to track down the best enchiladas.

I don't care if I have to sneak into a Hispanic-american's kitchen, bribe a waiter at a restaurant or buy stock in a frozen food company, I'm going to find the best enchiladas ever made, because I love them.

Love.

So, to begin my search I've started with the usual suspects - the enchiladas that are easiest to get my grubby little hands on. As I continue my search I'll report back here with my findings and opinions.

Aren't you glad? Yes you are, now get your hand out of my bag of chips, sucker.

Today's enchilada:

Reser's Fine Foods Baja Cafe Three Cheese enchiladas with Salsa Verde

So, I saw this over at Winco and grabbed a box. They're frozen, with four little trays of two enchiladas each. I think I paid like four something for it, so the price isn't all that bad.

It's easy to heat, you stab some holes in the plastic covering (and if you're like me, cackle gleefully at the loud pop noise it makes) and throw it in the microwave for 3.5-5 minutes, or however long it takes to heat the middle without melting the plastic into a big puddle of goo.

The Salsa Verde is green - I'm warning you now. Yes, I know Salsa Verde is green, but this was an almost unnatural green, but not so flourescent that it was scary to take that first bite. I'm brave though, so bite I did. The website claims the Salsa Verde is 'Zesty' but in reality it was more like someone stuck a hot pepper seed near your nose and then made you snort it. It was wickedly spicy, with a weird almost cajun taste to it. My mouth had a unplesant (for me, anyway) dull burn in it for nearly 30 minutes after I had finished eating it.

Once you could see past your tears, and you've guzzled your first gallon of water, the rest of it was pretty good. The cheese wasn't anything fantastic, but at least it tasted like cheese (not like cardboard, which often happens in frozen food), and the tortilas - corn from what I could tell - weren't dry (because they were drowning in the merciless Salsa Verde), which was nice.

It however reaked some major havok on my stomach (I can't do spicy or acidic food well at all) but I finished it, because my momma would have killed me and sent my corpse to starving children in Vlockoslavakia if she had found out otherwise.

It would have been better if they toned down the 'Zestyness' and maybe thrown in a few tomatos or olives on the top. Olives = bliss.

All in all, this one rates four corn chips on a scale of ten.




So for the next trial, I need to go look again in the frozen food section to see what I can find. I think I'll get those out of the way first. I'm telling you, it's worth the extra two pounds I'm going to gain from eating all that cheese.

Today's hiaku of the day:

Don't mix nose and seeds,
They hurt worse then a marble,
Please trust me: I know.
Posts until IBOM's 1000th Post: 77

Ah, it's officialy Summer. A warm, joyous season whose coming is marked by the bloom of Summer flowers, the buzz of bees and the weekend decorating of power poles with rarely legible signs. These signs, no matter if they're made from high quality vinyl or smeared cardboard, all declare the same message: Summer is the season for sales. Not just any sales, but the magical sales of Summer, the ones you find up and down Any Street U.S.A in someone's front yard or garage where loads of junk which nobody wants anymore can be begrudgingly bought by parents for happy children for only thirty-five cents. The first step to enjoying these traditions of Summer is to acquaint yourself with the knowledge that even though all might carry the chance that the Dress-Me-Up G.I. Joe you've been looking for is on a table somewhere, not all sales are created equal. So, in order to help you make the most of your saleing experience (and to avoid doing work), I bring you, the types of yard sales.

You're welcome.


The Yard Sale:
The most well known of all the sales is the Yard Sale, and is traditionally held in the large green area in front of a home. This type of sale is often named a Garage Sale by accident, by people who we hope do this because they're novices at hosting a sale and not because they planted grass on their garage floor. Yard Sales come in all shapes and sizes, and can be properly identified by bored people sitting in lawn chairs staring at large tables and items of furniture covered in unwanted presents of holidays gone by.

The Garage Sale:
The second most popular type of sale is known as the Garage Sale. These sales are typically held in someone's garage, or possibly under their carport. These types of sales can be somewhat cramped and often have a slightly odd smell that can be vaguely reminiscent of poorly ventilated sweat socks. These sales can be a great place to find a treasure, but beware, make sure that before you stop at what you think is a Garage Sale you confirm that it is in fact what it seems to be, and not just a messy, open garage. Explaining why you are digging through boxes in someone's garage to the local police will surely put a damper on your sale experience.

The Estate Sale:
Normally held after someone has passed away (or occasionally by a disgruntled relative who is house sitting) the Estate Sale is generally an open-house type sale where everything inside can be purchased or stolen when nobody is looking. These sales can be a great way to acquire an entire collection of bright pink china or dolls in knitted parasol dresses, if these are the types of things you desire.

The Rummage Sale:
Held in backrooms or basements of churches, Rummage Sales are typically run by kindly little old women to try and raise money for their churches. Found mostly during the holiday season, these types of sales have a lot of old books, Avon bottles, and hand crafted items such as quilts for purchase. These types of sales also may sell or serve refreshments, which may or may not taste like the nearby Avon smells, to the shoppers who braved smacking their heads on low ceilings while trampling up and down stairwells.

The "Huge" Sale:
Also known as the "Gigantic" Sale and the "Humongous" Sale this type of sale is a pure myth. Once lured into following the signs proclaiming a "Huge Sale" shoppers often find themselves stuck at the end of a dead end one way street or in a corn field two counties over. Sometimes shoppers will get lucky and come across the elusive "Huge" Sale but are often sorely disappointed when it turns out to be a blanket spread on the grass with a few items of clothing, olive green lamps from the 1950's, and some used tires.

The Four Family Sale:
Four Family Sales are usually located in upper-middle class neighborhoods and are generally when mothers get together to sell their used baby items. Items at Four Family Sales are commonly overpriced as the mothers selling them have forgotten that their children were born decades ago and nobody has any use for polyester infant leisure suits. These types of sales are, however, a good way to stock up on baby or toddler toys, good children's furniture, and the occasional sailboat.

The Block Sale:
Block Sales are when people from an entire block wide community get together and decide to obstruct traffic and annoy non-participating neighbors by holding a sale. Some of the major types of sales described above can be found in a Block Sale, including the Yard Sale, Garage Sale and Four Family Sale. Block Sales also include stands or tables where children often pressure shoppers into buying watered down lemonade and hard cookies for six times their market value.

Sales are a great way to spend a lazy Saturday afternoon this Summer. Next time you find yourself out and about and notice a sign with a bright florescent arrow pasted to it, I hope you follow it (and find it) and enjoy yourself while digging through someone else's junk. So, happy sales to you, and remember, all sales might not be created equal but all of them hold the equal chance of you finding their contents in the garbage can if you are willing to wait long enough.

Posts until IBOM's 1000th post: 78

I think I'm finally going to move my blog over to it's domain. Maybe. Or, I could just put it off for another three years. I don't think any of my three whole readers care either way, do you?

Blogger is starting to get on my nerves, I don't mind the ads, but now I've been having problems with having to refresh blogspot sites six or seven times to get them to show up, I'm getting triple posts every time I post to boot. It's just starting to look like maybe I had better switch over and start handling it all myself.

I'm just so ungrateful and whiny.

Why is there a decapitated rubber Squidward on my desk?

....Do you think it could be a hint?

Posts until IBOM's 1000th post: 79

At the farmers market today I was sad at how expensive produce is, realy. Four bucks for a pound of cherries? I could pick eight pounds for that much, all I would have to do is tolerate falling off a ladder a few times. No big deal. I can do that much for sweet cherry goodness!

For those of you who live in states where you have to pay a quarter to use a public restroom and then have to pay another dime for that square of paper, this may not be all that expensive sounding to you, but I don't live there, I live here, and it is.

Man, I want cherries and I don't want to have to sell a kidney to get them. If I do that, then I won't be able to eat solids because the meds'll just make me yuke them back up, and it wouldn't matter then anyway.

The Haiku of the Day:
I'm going to go
and U-pick my own dang fruit,
and I won't even share.
Posts until IBOM's 1000th post: 80

Today is one of my younger brother's birthday party (his actual birthday is tomorrow) so I'm off to go pick up people and drop them off at the party site (pool party, whee...just what I want to do, spend the day herding a bunch of kids around a pool. I should take a whistle, and blow it at people and then gesture at them with obscure hand signals.) and pick up the cake.

It should be fun, or something.

The haiku of the day:
If it rains today,
It means I get to forfeit,
And go back to bed.

Posts until IBOM's 1000th post: 81

This conversation was overheard yesterday at a workshop, because I was eavesdropping, like the busybody I am.

Lady number one, "What a cute baby! What's his name?"
Lady with the baby, "His name is John."
The first lady replies, "Really? That's my nephews name."
The lady with the baby smiles and says, "That's my nephews name too, because he's my nephew. He's going to be my daughters husband, we've already planned the wedding."

This left me hoping that he was her pretend nephew.

The haiku of the day:
Obligatory:
Back away very slowly,
Put down the banjo.

Sorry.

Posts until IBOM's 1000th post: 82