I've decided that the whole Jury Duty thing is a scam. Possibly to lure me to the court house to arrest me or detain me for something that I solemnly swear I didn't do. There were no witnesses, I made sure of tha...wait, why is it a scam you ask? Because it's been nothing but wonky since the beginning.

Usually you don't get a summons notice in the mail until 30 or more days before the date they need you (at least here anyway, my last one I got in March for a date in May, the one before I got it in the middle of September for November). This time I received it two weeks and two days before the date saying I needed to show up.

This (if you're someone like me...read: lazy) gives you very little time to defer it if you want. Which is what I did. Now don't go all I'm unamerican-it's-your-duty-as-a-citizen
I-can't-be-with-someone-who-won't-go-to-jury-duty on me (wait, that was a 7th Heaven episode, sorry), I absolutely can not serve. Just doesn't work for me. Owning your own business = owner away on jury duty all clients leave and owner goes bankrupt and ends up homeless. See? Now unless the State of Oregon wishes to pay my rent and placate all my clients while they make me treck downtown for who knows how long, then they're just going to have to leave Juror No. 218 alone.

Anyway, so I get it with a tad over two weeks notice, I defer it, I have someone stick it in the mailbox for me. Yes, that was my mistake. It didn't get put in the mailbox until yesterday (that really is what I get, you know. Damn you laziness!) and it didn't even get put in the mailbox. My mailboxes are like any other complexes. A fantastic line of tiny silver boxes all stacked in a row. At the top of each stack of boxes is a slot reading 'Outgoing Mail'.

On every one but mine on the top of my stack o' boxes it reads 'Do Not Put Mail Here'. Guess which box the return card got put in? C'mon...guess.

Yeah. That's right. So now my return card is sitting in the 'Do Not Put Mail Here, Moron' box, and can't be removed until the mailman comes today with the key to unlock it, because they don't keep that key on the premises. I'm telling you, it's a conspiracy to not only have me serve (or at least have me arrested via bench warrant) but teach me to never again ask someone to mail something for me.

So, if the card doesn't get there in time, they won't have time to process it, and my deferment will be denied. Then my only hope is to show up and hope they let me go after the first day. Or, you know, pay my bills for me.

No comments: