I'm apartment hunting. It's amazing how much people want to charge just to move into an apartment. I could make a downpayment on a car for the amount their wanting. A really, really good car. With, like, doors and everything. It's extortion, that's what it is. They might as well stab me in the eye with a stick, the result is the same. Neverending pain and agony. It's especially bad since they come with practically nothing. If you're going to charge me a million dollars and the fresh soul of my first-born child for the privilege of living in an apartment with vomit brown carpeting then at least pay my utilities, or give me a washer and dryer hook up. Hell, with the prices these people charge, they can afford to even throw in a Cabana Boy. Is that too much to ask?

My soon-to-be-roommate has to be out of his place by the first of the month, so I've been trying to locate something pretty quicky. Nobody wants to be homeless in January. Unless you enjoy freezing off your much needed appendages while sleeping on a hard bench. I, however, really enjoy being warm. Oh, and not being gnawed on by sneaky little woodland animals while I nap. That's good too.

I'm trying to find an apartment that is relatively quiet and peaceful, one that doesn't have frequent visits from people in snazzy uniforms. I'm not big on having neighbors that beat on one another for amusement, or play mad scientist in their bathroom with the "Do It Yourself Meth Kit"(tm) they bought off the internet. I'm picky. I figure I have the right to be, since whatever I rent will merit the selling of some organs that I've grown quite attached to.


Being stalked sucks, ok?
I am sick of not going outside,
Because of crazies.

No comments: