The fact that a pair of small nail clippers for a dog ended up costing me nearly $13.00 really bothers me. It's a pair of nail clippers! It makes it even more sore because I already have a pair, I just can't find the dang things. I think someone stole them, just to watch me have a mild coronary in PetCo over the price of new ones.

I'm guessin the extra cost was for the super swanky non-slip handles, right? Yeah, they're important. I know I always clip my dogs nails right after I've eaten me a big bucket o'chicken, and nothings worse then cutting the nail back further then you meant to because you have greasy hands. Licking them during the process doesn't help either, just so you know.

I have to give the dog a bath tonight, and clip her nails. I'm sure this will thrill her to no end. She hates having her nails clipped worse then she does having a bath. If I go and don't come back, it's because she cleverly positioned herself in such a way that I'd trip over her and break my neck flying into the bathtub. If it's not too much trouble, I'd like a plot that overlooks water. Preferably not a sluice or a drainage ditch. If you put me near one of those, I will know, and I will have to come in all my spectral glory to visit you in the middle of the night. If you're lucky, rattling chains, but most likely, I'll just show up nude. That'll show you.

A haiku:


Dwindling summer.
Avert your eyes from the sales,
Speedos are evil.


Posts until IBOM's 1000th post: 28

The BBQ went pretty well. There wasn't as many kids there as I was told would be, but it was fun...well, as much fun as you can have with hot dogs as the main course anyway.

Five minutes before class was done, one of the kids fell on top of her sister, and knocked her sisters baby tooth out with her butt. Stuff like that, it takes talent. The younger girl was fine, she was more upset over the blood then she was over actually getting a tooth popped out of her head (by her sisters backside, no less).

They finally started implementing other features of the Youth Program. I now officially (again) no longer have children ages 12 and up, because they go to a separate class. This makes me both sad, and glad. Sad because I created my program to cater to all ages, so everyone had a good time. All my kids (yes, I refer to them as mine) get along and are real friends, so it'll be sad to not have that interaction anymore. Plus, the older kids are a riot.

Glad shouldn't even need to be explained.

Next week I'm going to see if the teacher of the older kids class will get together with me once a month to talk about the youth programs. Also, I want to see if she'll implement the dollar program (I think having the same rewards program through all classes is a good idea) and wants to merge classes on days we have events and stuff (like our Halloween Harvest and Christmas Parties, and the opening of the YCC Store, which is Halloween as well).

Hopefully she's cool with this, otherwise the hundreds of dollars the kids have saved up over the last year are all going to go to waste. Plus, they'll be disappointed, they've really been looking forward to it and really like getting the dollars. It's the only reason they come really, Lord knows it's not because I'm any fun.

Haiku for You:


Summer can be cruel.
Oh, angry yellow jackets
Stinging my ankles.


Posts until IBOM's 1000th post: 29

My sites are down, so the layout is as well. Hopefully it'll be back up soon, if not, I'll bother James (who's my fantastic and amazing host) about them. He likes being bothered, deep down.

Ah, looks like his site is down as well. Well, that stinks. I hope it's not a serious problem. Maybe I broke it, I'm good at that.

Speaking of breaking things, people have moved into my old apartment (that's the one, for those of you who aren't up to date on this story, that I moved out after four years of living there because the sinks didn't drain, the roof was leaking, the waterheater had exploded all over the garage, the landlady was storing things in my house, the fridge had two inches of ice all over it, the heaters never turned off so I had to disconnect them (or pay a nearly 200 dollar power bill), my water was constantly being used to water other peoples yards AND they flooded my house twice, and there was a termite problem) and are now buying ice and using coolers to store food because the fridge finally died, and the landlady won't buy a new one. The sinks aren't draining as well.

Yes, I know gossiping is a sin, but I do find it really interesting that while I was living there everything was passive-aggressively blamed on me (although I'm not sure how her daughter not paying rent is my fault, or the yard guy not coming and doing the landscaping on time, but both were blamed on me at one point) yet I haven't lived there for almost a year now, and the same problems still exist.

I don't wish any ill on her, and I do hope that the problems right themselves. I would have been the first to say so if the problems there had been my fault, it's just nice in a vindictive and petty sort of way to get confirmation that they really weren't, even if I already knew it.



THotD:


Digital stupor.
I am not downloading Warez.
So what's the problem?


Posts until IBOM's 1000th post: 31

I got M&N International's new fall/winter catalog in the mail today. How can you not get giddy over 226 pages of nothing but holiday and party decorations plopped directly in your mailbox? I know I just about wet myself.

I love decorations. I am a self proclaimed decoration slut. Really. I get all weak in the knees over crepe paper and balloons. I could care less about the party, my favorite part is the decorating.

I have a bunch of holiday parties coming up after September. One is a 'harvest' party for the YCC, since Halloween falls directly on a class day. I don't like calling them 'Harvest Parties', because it seems blasphemous to the Great Holiday that is Halloween. But, I'd rather roll my eyes and say Harvest then have some parent somewhere mad at me because their kid doesn't celebrate Halloween because it's the Satan's holiday, and how dare I. It takes all the fun out of it when you have Party Poopers for parents, or when the person throwing the party gets slapped or told she made Baby Jesus cry. Poor kids. Besides, you'd think it would be obvious what kind of party it was when you show up and there is black plastic for walls, blood smeared on the floor, and spiders and witches dangling from the ceiling.

I'm thinking of sewing my own costume this year. It sounds daunting, but it might be a good challenge. I liked the idea of a really cool silver, black and red Pierrot costume, but then I decided that Jesters are far less scaring to some people. So, I'm thinking a Jester. I have a Jesters wand and everything, I'll probably just get fabric to match that. Unfortunately the majority of it is pink, so I may have to stick with the silver/black/gold colors that is on it instead. Pink is a disgusting color. I want to look nifty, not like a giant Pepto bottle.

Although, that's a good idea. I could be super annoying in my pink costume made from cardboard, and walk around singing that dumb jingle Pepto's got going, and do the stupid little 'I shouldn't have eaten that six week old pizza' dance that goes with it. I could even make it scratch-and-lick!

Whatcha think? Heeyy! Pepto Bismol...

Posts until IBOM's 1000th post: 32

Is anyone else (besides those of you who are members of TCB Wrimos and I already know about) doing NaNoWriMo this year? Only 65 days to go, boys and girls! Plenty of time to get some plot notes pounded out.

For those of you who don't know. NaNoWriMo is National Novel Writing Month, where in you panically write a 50,000 word novel in the 31 days that November hath. You can't pre-write anything, but you are allowed to make plot outlines and notes. It's insane, but major fun. Sign ups open on October 1st. You should join. Yes, I'm pimping.

If you are joining, and want to join TCB Wrimos, a NaNo group, you're more then welcome. The group is pretty small (there are only about 10 people right now), and we can't get you free medication for the month of November, or save you money on your car insurance, but we are very friendly and supportive.

I've already got the plot, 90% of my characters, and a whole slew of notes. So I'm pretty confidant in my story this year. Hopefully I make it to the finish line. I haven't won in two years, and it's really got me down. (See: pathetic) What I really need is a secluded island and a harem of Cabana boys at my beck and call. That'll get me writing.

Hey - the 1000th post is coming up shortly. Any suggestions on what it should be?

A haiku:


Kittens everywhere.
One in my file cabinet,
how did it get there?


Posts until IBOM's 1000th post: 33

Filtched from Mac at Pesky Apostrophe:


Your name spelled backwards.
Eimaj

Where were your parents born?
Salem, Oregon and I'm not sure, I think Portland.

What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?
Detective Academy Q Episode 22. Long live Otakus! I'm such a geek.

What's your favorite restaurant?
Newport Bay. I love their fried zucchini.

Last time you swam in a pool?
Two weeks or so ago. Finally, my hair doesn't feel like straw anymore. Yay.

Have you ever been in a school play?
Yep. I always landed the roles of the crazies. And if I wasn't acting, I was a techie.

How many kids do you want?
I don't want any. Thanks anyway!

Type of music you dislike most?
Country and Rap.

Are you registered to vote?
Yep yep!

Do you have cable?
Cable modem, not cable TV though. This makes me sad, but in reality, it's not like I have time to watch TV anyway.

Have you ever ridden on a moped?
Uhhu. I crashed one into berry briars ones. It was smooth of me.

Ever prank call anybody?
Yeah, but not often. I always felt bad about it.

Ever get a parking ticket?
Nope!

Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?
Yep. You only die once!

Farthest place you ever traveled.
Not far. I've never been out of the country. I've been to Memphis. Wait, I've been far. I went to Graceland, that's a whole 'nother freaking world.

Do you have a garden?
Yeah. It has one lonely itty bitty pumpkin, and a bunch of lilies.

What's your favorite comic strip?
Something Positive! Technically it's a web comic, but they're all the same right?

Do you really know all the words to your national anthem?
Yeah. I don't sing it though. I also don't cover my heart or stand when a flag passes by. It's because I'm a terrorist. Ask anyone.

Bath or Shower, morning or night?
Showers at any time. I love baths, but I haven't gotten to take them since I moved. It saddens me.

Best movie you've seen in the past month?
Ahh. Well, seeing as how everything I've seen this month has been junk, I'd have to say...ahhh...

Favorite pizza topping?
Olives are divine
Gods bestist idea yet
Hurray for olives!

Chips or popcorn?
Sour cream and onion kettle chips. I hate popcorn, damn hulls.

What color lipstick do you usually wear?
None. My lips are streakers. Completely nude. Unless I'm wearing Burts Bees stuff.

Have you ever smoked peanut shells?
Peanut shells?

Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?
No. Ha!

Orange Juice or apple?
Apple juice is fantastic. Orange juice kills my tender and sensitive tummy.

Who was the last person you went out to dinner with and where did you dine?
Ahh. Shoot. Robin and we went to the Mexican place over here that was the only decent one in town. They closed it. It's Italian now. I have yet to go there.

Favorite type chocolate bar?
Chocolate is the work of the devil.

When was the last time you voted at the polls?
Um...I voted against some measure last year? It went through anyway. Bloody shame, it cut a bunch of funding from schools and stuff. Morons.

Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?
Not for a while. I know where some tomato plants are though, this question makes me want to sneak over and steal one.

Have you ever won a trophy?
No. My life is incomplete now! I never realized how sad I was for not winning a trophy! I think someone should give me one. Um, how about 'Best Jamie Ever'? That would do.

Are you a good cook?
Yeah. I give good eats.

Do you know how to pump your own gas?
No. It's actually illegal to pump your own gas here in Oregon. We hire people to do it for us, because we're civilized.

Ever order an article from an infomercial?
..........No. Honest.

Sprite or 7-up?
Sprite. Yum.

Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work?
Yeah. I worked as a medical records specialist for a while. Even though we were in the records room, on the second floor of the clinic, and nobody saw us ever they thought it would create camaraderie if we all dressed in dopey outfits with our name tags pinned two fingers down our left shoulder at all times. I didn't even get to wear stupid scrubs, it was dumb black slacks and scary buttoned maroon shirts. Maroon! Not even a nice maroon either, a scary maroon. Jevus! Needless to say, I didn't stay in that job very long.

Last thing you bought at a pharmacy?
Shoot. Vicodin? I can't even spell the stuff. I got it, like, two and a half years ago almost? I was sick...they made me sicker.

Ever throw up in public?
Not that I remember?

Would you prefer being a millionaire or find true love?
Millions. I can buy love with millions, baby. Seriously.

Do you believe in love at first sight?
Sure. I love all types of cowboys at first sight.

Ever call a 1-900 number?
Yes, but your mommy told me to stop calling her.


Wait...that was mean, sorry.

Can ex's be friends?
Yep. Yep yep yep.

Who was the last person you visited in a hospital?
My Grandfather, right before he passed away from Cancer.

Did you have a lot of hair when you were a baby?
Red hair. Bright scary carrot red hair. It fell out though.

What message is on your answering machine?
That scary mechanical man guy who comes on the answering machine when you buy it.

What's your all time favorite Saturday Night Live Character?
Mister Robinson

What was the name of your first pet?
Um. Sally? I think.

What is in your purse?
You seriously want to know? My hairbrush, my day planner, a mini day planner, my wallet (with the obligatory cards in it), my bankbook (with a five buck check that needs to be deposited. Wow! I'm rich!), my business bankbook, Burts Bees lip stuff, my class schedule for CCC, a zillion pens, a broken opal ring in a ziplock baggie, scrunchies, a bunch of papers that I have no idea what they are, two lollipops, business cards, my keys, a froggy change purse (with two cents inside!), one of those bubble gum machine capsules with a mini-mini alien guy in it, and a pair of sunglasses in a cute knit case. Know what? I need a bigger purse.

Favorite thing to do before bedtime?
Read. Write. Stalk unsuspecting victims.

What is one thing you are grateful for today?
I'm not dead. It's all good, yo.

Posts until IBOM's 1000th post: 34

Robin and I share an office. We sit, oh, maybe five feet away from each other. (More so on bad days, or days she hasn't showered. Thinking on it, I am awfully lucky she doesn't read this thing. If she did, knowing my luck, I'd show up to get some work done and there would be peanut butter smeared in my CD drive or something.) And yet, even though we are within smacking distance of one another, we still find it necessary to use Instant Messaging for worthless garbage such as this (keep in mind she was doing research for a CET course she's writing):

Robin: Prior to 9:00 is breakfast, getting dressed, cleaning the kitchen up, etc...
9:00 - Bible time, Sign Language Practice, Phonics
9:30 - Break for chores/playtime
10:00 - Readiness skills, Writing, Arithmetic
10:30- Break for chores/playtime
11:00 - Reading/Poetry Mom reads orally, Children have "quiet" sit-time with a book
11:30 - PE, Science/Health, Social Studies, Music We rotate Science/Health
'Skyte: Bible Time!
'Skyte: Why don't we have Bible Time Mommy?
Robin: This is what you should be doing
Robin: Because you are very bad and God does not want you.
'Skyte: That's ok, Hell sounds like fun anyway!

She's not in here now. Actually, I have no idea where she went, and the sixty some odd messages saying things like "Slacker" and "Get back to work woman" have gone completely unanswered. The nerve of some people.

Your Haiku of the Day:


Would you like to write
a fun haiku of the day?
Now stealing your lines.


Posts until IBOM's 1000th post: 35

This blog completely cracked me up.

Angry 15 Year Olds For Bush

I haven't laughed this hard in days.

Now, I'm thinking this site is a complete and total yank the chain, but either way I found it hysterical. Firstly, because if it's real, then it completely nulls itself on it's arguments, which the petty girl deep down inside of me gleefully cackles at. I mean....really. I don't think I need to elaborate on why it does this, since reading it should be pretty darn self explanatory. Nobody is going to listen to what you have to say when 'u type lik dis' and post 'BILL CLINTON HAD SEXXX' every six sentences.

On the other hand, if it's meant in jest (and I'm leaning this way), then it amuses me. In a stupid, juvenile, way. I think it's important to have a daily dose of stupid and juvenile. I know that was mine for the day, I'm just passing it along. You can thank me with comments, or even presents, if you're so inclined.

Posts until IBOM's 1000th post: 36

The other day I took my sister school shopping. To the mall. I hate the mall, it's crowded and smelly and full of people's children who are generally obnoxious. They also smell, and take things out of your cart in the department stores, pull stuff off shelves and systematically place it in your path so you're trapped while they run around in circles yelling and touch you with their sticky fingers.

On the way to the Mall of Evil, I was stung twice in the bend of my right arm by a very angry wasp. It definitely did not help me like the idea of going to the mall. After the swelling went down, I was left with two dime size bruises that hurt. I think this alone was a good enough reason to get out of going to the mall, but it didn't work. I was forced to go anyway, because I promised.

Psha. A promise. Who keeps those now days? If our President doesn't, then I definitely don't have to.

While we were there, some guy drove by and quacked at us out his passenger window. Does anyone know what the significance of someone quacking at you is? Besides, you know, senility.

Posts until IBOM's 1000th post: 37

Because I'm a big copycat, I stole Kelly's reading list and put one up on my side bar. Well, I stole the concept, I changed the books. I've actually read the next book on her list, and I loved it. This reading list is the last thing I'll add to my side bar because it's getting pretty long, and nobody reads it anyway.

I went to the coast yesterday, not for anything fun, in fact I didn't even get to see the ocean. I had a meeting. I'm getting pretty darn tired of driving that windy road that makes me completely nauseous and not even seeing the beach. It's really quite cruel. It was raining on the coast as well, which I like. (I guess you'd have to, to live here) I meant to get some pictures of the mountains all foggy as we went over them, but I was too busy trying to focus on the horizon and not vomit all over the other passengers. I figured they'd appreciate that.

Today was Fred's first day of college! Everyone go over and tell him to have a good day. We're awfully proud of him. Someday he'll be rich and support as all!

A haiku:


Today is Monday,
I wish it was Saturday,
So that I could nap.


Posts until IBOM's 1000th post: 38

I heard from Fred and he's doing fine. Other then the whole car crushed by a tree thing. They don't expect to have power back until Saturday at the earliest. Just, you know, incase anyone else was worried about him. :)

Posts until IBOM's 1000th post: 39

I pinched a nerve in the bottom of my foot running around like a fool yesterday and my foot is all nice and swollen and it's very painful to walk on. Unfortunately meetings could care less, so I've already been out and about limping from meeting to meeting and trying really hard to make it look attractive.

Limping is not attractive. Especially not when every other step is punctuated by a yelp.

So, hopefully I'm off it for the rest of the work day. I need to rig something so I can put it up, because having it down on the floor under my desk just makes it throb. It's not even a fun type of throb either, I really am so abused.

A haiku:


My feet are begging
with loud ouching and whining:
"Morphine! Be my friend!"


Posts until IBOM's 1000th post: 40

It amused me enough to edit the template that I added Blogamp and a playlist panel on the side. This is the kind of nonsense I do insted of working. Someone flog me.

Posts until IBOM's 1000th post: 41

Totally not sure if I'm liking the search bar at the top of Blogger, even if you can use it to search my site. (Ok, well that is cool.) I have to tweak my layout so it doesn't overlap now. This makes me Grr and Arg. But, it'll only take a couple break tags, so it's no big woop.

Posts until IBOM's 1000th post: 42

From Mac at Pesky'Apostrophe, go here and copy the text from your birth month into your blog, and then cross out all the negitive stuff that you don't want anyone to know about you. Or, the stuff that doesn't apply, whichever.


DECEMBER:
Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egoistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical.

Hrm. Why is 'crazy' not listed on there? I'm certainly that.

Posts until IBOM's 1000th post: 43

I haven't spoken with Fred since Friday during the hurricane. Last update was the loss of power and a tree falling on his car. It was a truly crushing experience.

All bad jokes aside, I do hope everyone down there is doing alright. Hopefully his cell is in good working order, I'll give him a call later today. Or maybe a tree fell on him and he's dead, but if that's the case, I get dibs on his laptop.

A haiku:


Oh, the time has come,
To start plotting for NaNo,
So that I may fail.


Posts until IBOM's 1000th post: 44

Is anyone going to watch the Olympics? If so, what parts? I doubt I'll see much of it, because it's not really my thing. I generally don't pay much attention to it when it's around, but I did think this was awesome:


There was huge applause for Afghanistan on its return to Olympic competition after an eight-year absence and with its first female athletes. Coach Nina Suratger, in a shimmering green robe and head scarf, carried the flag.


The entrance of the more than 500-member U.S. team -- led by basketball guard Dawn Staley -- drew cheers. But some people also stood and put their thumbs down in an apparent show of displeasure for the war in Iraq. Moments later, the Iraqis entered to a roaring ovation.

Also, I'm totally rooting for Kiribati. As a newbie country in the Olympics, I'm seriously hoping they go home with something.

A haiku:

Off to play DII.
Gonna really whomp Fred's tush,
While we watch Charley.

Posts before IBOM's 1000th post: 45

Fred is getting ready for Hurricane Charlie. This, is our conversation on it, which just goes to show: no matter what your sexual preference all guys are under the impression that they are invincible.

Rhea Rhyolin: Fantastic, whatcha going to do today?
Saetan SaDiablo: Kick back, and prepare for Charlie.
Saetan SaDiablo: Its gonna hit us, and I have a feeling it might hit hard. ::stretch:: This ought to be fun.
Rhea Rhyolin: Yeah? You got like boarded windows?
Saetan SaDiablo: We're not boarding our windows. ::looks horrified::
Saetan SaDiablo: Its so cliche.
Saetan SaDiablo: I'm gonna get the tools and stuff put away that's outside, and probably make sure our yard doesn't have crud in it that'll go through our unboarded windows.
Rhea Rhyolin: Are other people? How close are you to where it's supposed to hit?
Saetan SaDiablo: It's on a straight path to us.
Saetan SaDiablo: Its gonna go around the keys and go up, hitting Ft. Myers (About 200 miles south of Tampa, and two hundred miles straight line from us) first, and move northeast.
Saetan SaDiablo: And Florida is very thin, maybe a hundred miles wide, so it'll hit us fast. And its supposed to hit Friday, I think.
Rhea Rhyolin: Wow
Rhea Rhyolin: Fuuun!
Rhea Rhyolin: Don't die
Rhea Rhyolin: You should take pictures
Saetan SaDiablo: Yes.
Saetan SaDiablo: I will go outside in 80mph winds and take pictures of cows flying past.
Rhea Rhyolin: Yay!
Saetan SaDiablo: lol
Rhea Rhyolin: I could totally use those in a layout.

Posts until IBOM's 1000th post: 46

I had an appointment on campus first thing this morning. I have all my classes for next term picked, so I'm all ready to register them on the 17th. Hurray. My schedule turned out not only easy (.....Famous last words) but also very accommodating to my work schedule and whatever schedule I end up with because of my Work-Study Program.

This makes me a happy camper.

Wanna know what I'm taking? Sure you do, here it is:

Three CG classes the first two weeks before normal classes start, 100, 101 and 225
Math - Ind. Study (so I can come and go whenever I want, hurray!)
Writing (122) - 6:30 to 9:30 on Wednesday
Zoology (201) - 10:30 to 11:20 Monday, Wednesday and Fridays
Zoology Lab(ology) - 8:30 to 11:20 on Thursdays
Health (295) - Online

See? Great hu? Leaves me a ton of time to work and work and work, which leaves me no time to sleep, which is how it should be anyway. Since, sleep is for wussies.

Posts until IBOM's 1000th post: 47

I have one of these. It is, for those of you too lazy to click on the link, 'Amazing Colored Growing Sea Life'. Of course, mine is the frog one, because frogs are fanfreakingtastic. Frogs aren't sea life though, but hey, I'm not complaining.

These things are the ones that you put in water and they supposedly 'Expand 600% of size' as the packaging shrieks in yellow lettering. It also has a red circle with 'DO NOT SWOLLOW' on it. I'm glad it says that, because I know the first thing I wanted to do when I ripped the package open was toss the thing down my gullet.

I put it in water yesterday, because, I mean, that's what it's for right? It's actually growing pretty big. I have it in a Tupperware container and it's slowly rising to the surface. It looks deformed and slightly scary. I'll take a picture as soon as I find new batteries for the camera.

Haiku-For-You!


If I give you cash,
It would be more comfortable,
If you looked less stoned.


Posts until IBOM's 1000th post: 48

Unlike some people, lack of sleep doesn't make me cranky, it makes me nutso. Once oxygen stops reaching my sleep deprived brain, I start to find everything extremely amusing - even more then normal. I giggle a lot at nothing and tend to fall over at inappropriate times. The no-sleep me is probably what I would be like drunk, if I drank.

I haven't been getting much sleep between the heat (100+ weather is just not right), the dog (who sleeps on the end of my bed) and the cats, one of whom has decided a fun game is: Steal all the kittens, even the ones that aren't yours and put them in hard to reach places, like behind the deep freeze, or under the stove in the kitchen. This game is not as fun as she thinks it is.

So I've spent the last couple nights chasing down kittens and putting them back in their box in my bedroom. I try and keep the door shut, but with the dog coming in and out (and the fact that if my door is shut air does not circulate through my room and I asphixiate and die) and the like, it just causes problems. I'm thinking of locking them in the bathroom, or better yet, putting them in a pie. No, locking them in the bathroom sounds good.

I'm seriously contemplating ditching work for the next couple hours and taking a short nap. If I don't (or don't find myself a whole truckload of caffeine soon) I will be completely worthless by noon. Completely worthless - that's nearly five times more worthless then I already am.

The hiaku of the day:


OTC, hurray!
I got their new catalog,
Fun crap abounds, yo.


Posts until IBOM's 1000th's post: 49

The Marketing Committee for the Center (who's last meeting I missed because I was doing the Project Blog for the YCC, which I think disgruntled people, until they realized much later that I was doing it for the Center, then they became undisgruntled and slightly abashed. This didn't amuse me, honest it didn't. Because that would be mean.) finally got their T-shirts for the Center finished.

At first I was supposed to do the logo for it, but I didn't (which also probably disgruntled somebody somewhere) but they turned out really good. Except for mine is purple. This color purple. I had no say in that, I sort of wish I did. I am not a purple girl. I guess it's better then orange though.

Class went well today. We made Rainsticks. They came out actually resembling rainsticks. This was shocking to me, because normally everything we make comes out vaguely resembling a large lump of something that if you squint just right, could almost be mistaken for what we were making, almost. This one was mine.




Spif, yeah? They don't sound like rain sounds per say, but they sound close enough that it might fool a baby or a deaf cat for a moment or two. That is, of course, until they break open and someone ingest the beads. Then they just sound like a doctors bill.

I'm on the search for projects for Fall, so if anyone has any ideas at all, fork them over. Please, I'm begging now, see? And I know how it floats your boat when I beg.

A haiku:


I have a sandwich.
I will eat it all gone, yum.
And you don't get any.



Posts until IBOM's 1000th post: 50

So I get this in my college box this morning...


Congratulations, Jamie!

Your outstanding academic performance during spring term 2004 has
earned you a place on The President's List at Chemeketa Community
College...


Holy frijoles. The President's List? That's like the list above the Dean's List. Wowee. I'm shocked.

I got a certificate and everything, I'm going to frame it. It's pretty, it has a blue border, and it and it's corresponding letter of Congrats say things like 'Academic Achievement', 'Two Percent of Students', and 'Proud'. Obviously they haven't caught on to that whole having smart people do my homework for me bit yet.

See?



Of course, I being the sinner I am, am pretty proud of myself. I spent most of the morning giggling. It'll grant me one break on the wheel when I get to hell, but I'll worry about that when I'm cold and dead.

This definitely made up for having to deal with that collection agent jerkwad this morning. Getting this is even more gratifying then plotting that guys 'accident' that would end in gaping and oozy mortal wounds.

Wow. President's List. Yay me.

Posts until IBOM's 1000th post: 51

It's raining. This makes me a very happy little girl. The gutter drain pipe thingies are right outside my office windows, so I get to listen to them drip while it's raining. Rather then obnoxious, I find the sound oddly soothing.

Robin's off to take care of some stuff with some people, so it means I'm the only one in the office for most of the morning. Do you think I'm taking advantage of the quiet to get work done?

Of course not. I'm not doing a darn thing. I'm being completely lazy. Yay for worthless. These are the kind of days when I need a super cute assistant type guy to do my work for me. Maybe I'll go make some hot chocolate, rainy weather is perfect for that kind of stuff. Anyone want some?

Haiku:


Rain is fantastic.
People who drive in the rain,
Aren't so very much.


Posts until IBOM's 1000th post: 52

Why is it when someone MSN Searches for "Slutty PSP Tubes" my blog comes up?

There must be something on here I don't know about. I really should stop keeping secrets from myself, it's going to completely null the whole group therapy thing.

A haiku:


Taxes are scary.
The IRS is scary.
I'm going to hide.


Posts until IBOM's 1000th post: 53

It's lunch break time! After lunch I have to go drop some certificates off to be calliged (what is the shortened version of 'calligraphied' anyway?) and stick this batch in the mail.

I'm actually working today (shocking, idinit?) like the good girl I am. I have a fairly large amount of work left to finish before classes start, so it's a very spiffy thing that I have 54 days left to get it done in. I'm hoping to have the complete 2004 Fall Course List available for online purchase (they're already available for mail order, because I rock like that) by the time I'm back hitting the books, so I don't have to do it while I'm tearing my hair out over homework. Plus, it's perfect timing.

I'm having tacos for lunch, anyone want one?

Posts until IBOM's 1000th post: 54

One of the biggest piles of crap for working for yourself - and don't get me wrong, I love working for myself and I have no interest in working any sort of job (sans Forensics) for anyone else ever again - is the fact that when someone (a client, for examples sake) who is completely ditzy does something ditzy and poor you doesn't have a supervisor to shluff it off on and has to handle it yourself.


So this lady submits her coursework, and doesn't include her information with it. You know, the potentially important stuff, like her mailing address. So I write her back and say, is this submitted stuff yours and if it is, the C.D. needs the following information so the certificates can be sent, ect, ect. So she writes back and wants to know where her certificates are.

Um, lady, I don't have your mailing address. Where do you think they are? In the pocket of magical little elves that deliver it to your doorstep?

It's no big deal though, right? So I write back again and say that I need this information before the certificates can be sent, and finally after a couple more letters saying the same thing, I get her mailing address. So now her certificates are nearly two weeks overdue because she didn't get the information to me until yesterday. All I need is a fit pitched now because of how late she finally gets them in the mail, and my week'll be made.

What I really love, is people who sign up for Membership and don't put their complete mailing address or even their e-mail address in for the data base. Or even better, put 'Private' there. That makes sending them certificates or tracking them down like a wild super happy fun day. Why buy courses from us knowing perfectly well we need your mailing address to send you the certificates to prove you got the training hours and then put 'Private' as your address?

Why? Why why whywhywhy? I guess it's sort of like the whole licks for a Tootsie Pop thing, the world may never know.

Also - it's amusing that Bloggers spell check gives 'corkscrews' as a replacement for 'coursework'. Some days I too think that the checking the coursework is an awful lot like being tortured with corkscrews.

Posts until IBOM's 1000th post: 55

The Weather Man is being a tease and saying we may have a chance of showers. It's a little cloudy outside so I am totally gunning for rain. After the high 90's and low 100's we've been having lately rain would be fantastic. However, rain and then a high of 100 would be a lower rung of hell. Hear that Mister Weather Man? No humidity, or I'll have to track you down and bump you off in your sleep.

One good thing about Oregon is about the beginning to middle of October our 'rainy season' begins and we don't see sunshine again until oh, May. A lot of people (read: Californians) can't handle this and eventually move back home, cursing the grey Oregon winters. (It's the same for part of Washington too, so you can insert Washington if that's where you're from or at, if you'd like) I once read that on average this part of Oregon only gets 80 days of sun a year. That's excluding partly cloudy, but I guess if clouds are over the sun it's not sunny, right?

Ah, I love it.

The haiku of the day:


I wish it would rain.
I promise no Commando,
Like I did last time.


Posts until IBOM's 1000th post: 56

In a Project-Blog update, Digital Spam ended up making about $160 dollars for the YCC. So far I've received about $70 of that, so if the rest shows up that means I have enough to cover September and part of November. Fantastic. Thanks again to everyone who donated.

I wov you, I wov you to bits! Just don't push me off any rooftops ok?

In a weird turn of events, I liked one of our Anime's from 24-Hours-Of-Anime so much that I downloaded all of it. All being 90+ episodes of it. That, people, is nearly 17 gigs of space. I have no idea where I'm going to find the time to watch it all (however, I have managed to waste a perfectly good weekend watching nearly thirty more episodes of it) but I'll figure it out.

This is my stand against having to be 'all adult all the time'. Societies view on being an adult is bogus. Just because I'm over 18 doesn't mean I have to drop everything I enjoy and quit being myself because some person with a big pointy stick up their bum thinks I'm not 'adult' enough. I think you can be responsible, mature, educated, sophistimacated and cultured and still watch cartoons or wear your hair in piggy tails.

So there.

A small part of the donated money from Project-Blog is going towards the End of Summer Party, which is going to be an all day BBQ and annoying games type event that will be held the last weekend of August. We were supposed to do the Summer Field Trip then, but I've decided to hold off on all field trips until next March, which the spring shift starts.

Since school is starting, and with school comes eventually The Holiday Season (I know, I know, nobody even wants to think it. But it's lurking out there, and will be here very, very soon. Of course, I secretly mentioned it because I want presents), there are so many activities, parties and things that go on not only with the YCC but at the Center itself (and in personal lives) from September to really February that I think having our normal field trips in there will be just way, way too much work for me overstimulation.

Plus, in all honesty, the lack of volunteers support makes it really hard to take a large group of kids anywhere. If I could get people to drive (and lead groups) I would be more willing to do the trips through fall and winter. I understand nobody is as absolutely insane as I am, and doesn't willingly want to take twenty kids to Ripley's Believe It or Not with secretly harbored hopes that they wet themselves, but c'mon, one or two van drivers is all I ask.

Anyway, our Ta-ta to Summer's gonna be a blast. You can come if you want, just don't bring those speedos, we want to close summer on a happy note, not scar the little kiddies.

Posts until IBOM's 1000th post: 57

Popcorn hulls are hell. I know they have hull-less popcorn, so why doesn't every popcorn manufacturer type person use that kind of corn for their product? Is it some kind of conspiracy? Do they get jollies from watching people tear their gums bloody trying to get a hull out from between their teeth? What's worse, is I don't even like popcorn, but I ate it anyway, and this is what I get for doing it.

It's almost worth going and having your teeth pulled just to get the little hulls out. I think I've brushed them at least sixty times in the last day. It's starting to make me cranky, and I'm no fun cranky.

A haiku:


I have some candy.
If you beg really pretty,
I might give you some.


Posts until IBOM's 1000th post: 58

Hey - can you guys and gals go over to All About Michael and comment? This is her first blog every and she really wants some comments (or readers!) that aren't from me (IE: vulgar). Thanks, you cute little snookemses you.

Posts until IBOM's 1000th post: 59

I lost my post. It was a long post. It was a good post, wrought with meaning and deep thoughts. It was witty even. Witty!

Oh well, it's gone now, so instead you get this post. Personally I think you've been gypped. You should write your Congress type person and complain. Especially since I'm far too lazy to rewrite the whole thing.

I went grocery shopping today, that's pretty much the extent of my life full of excitement. I got stuff so I can make Ravioli soup. Did I ever post that recipe here? If I haven't, and someone wants it, I'll post it. It's pretty good, if I say so myself.

I got the fall course catalog for the college in the mail yesterday, registration for classes starts the 17th, I suppose it would be smart to at least have an inkling of knowledge about what it is I'm going to register for. Seriously though, I just want the easy classes: Basket Weaving 101, Dissection and Analysis of Daydreams, Ice Sculpting; you know, the classes that'll keep my four-point a four-point. Also, I want my nails done and a pretty pink Barbie backpack. Is this too much to ask?

A haiku:

I love me some bread!
God bless those carbohydrates,
Atkins is nutso.

Posts until IBOM's 1000th post: 60