The night was stale and humid, Terra, wracked with grief over devouring her friends in a fit of untamed hunger, braved the wilds of the mountain top to perform the sacred ritual of Friendist Returnus. The ritual was forbidden and never spoke of. Terra had learned of the secret ceremony by bribing one of the pigmy villagers with a slice of her ice cream cake she received for her birthday. The pigmy, awed by the icecreamyness of the cake, turned over the Tome of unmentionable Ceremonies and told her to climb to the highest peak of the frozen mountain to the Alter of Life where by sacrificing the tip of her left pinkie finger and doing the Sacred Dance her friends would once again return to the land of the living and her sins for eating them would be forgiven.

After days of hard climbing, rabid mountain goats, and nearly being kidnapped by a amorous Yeti, Terra arrived at the alter hidden high in the mountains. Taking her rusty butterknife she sliced the tip of her left pinkie finger off and smeared it on the alter. Donning her polkadotted mumu she performed the Sacred Dance (which consisted of much grinding and thrusting) and screamed the words the book held:

"A relaxed jaw means an open vagina!"

Instantly her friends appeared in a puff of hot dog smelling smoke, and everyone hugged one another, and Terra was forgiven and muched loved.

(Happy Birthday Terra! We love you!)

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